Lisa Find Love

See how your relationship habits stack up to more than 1,000 other people’s. Unless they tell you otherwise, you probably assume that your friends and their S.O.s never fight, can't keep their hands off of each other, and get a full eight hours of sleep every night . But sometimes you want to know what other couples are really like behind closed doors—and how their habits and tendencies compare to yours.To shed some light on this subject, we asked more than 1,000 WomensHealthMag.com readers to tell us how often they fight, show PDA, get physical, and more.RELATED: The Top Pieces of Advice Couples Therapists Tell Their Clients Now you know what goes down when you're not around. That's fascinating stuff, folks.

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That's definitely one way to shake up a stale relationship. This article was written by GraceLynn Parker and repurposed with permission from YourTango.I knew almost nothing about computers, but loneliness and insomnia had me pecking the keys in the wee hours of the morning, searching Internet chat rooms rumored to be filled with interesting people. Instead, I only found a breeding ground for illiterate, inarticulate trolls.But suddenly, I found it: an interactive dating site with thousands of members from all over the world. Any hour of the day/night, there were eligible men waiting in line who couldn't wait to talk to me.Who could've imagined that just a few days before, I'd been a bored housewife in a sexless marriage who found this amazing site purely by accident? Who suddenly felt like her good ol' smoking hot self again? Thanks to my wicked way with words and my very wild imagination, I'd somehow become a star attraction almost overnight.Because everything happened online, I could be with one, two, three, or more men —all at the same time. I could even change partners every few minutes, all day long.RELATED: 17 Sex Positions Men Love MOSTFor hour after hour, without small talk or even a shower, I'd have cybersex with men from all over the world, stroking the keyboard with one hand .There was ThomasT39—a sexy, blond, conservative lawyer with a dry British wit, who really wanted it dirty, public, and rough. I happily obliged. We were up against a back alley brick wall at last call, me grinding against him, my black leather mini-skirt hiked up my hips and my thigh-high boots wrapped around his waist. We were always under a streetlight, certain to be spotted by boys in the bar I'd been flashing and tormenting all night for his pleasure.Or I enjoyed a sensuous, slow-motion soaping-down session in a steamy shower with DirtyDave99.Or I could be giggling and wiggling on the lap of Big Richard, a burly Scot with a huge penis who liked to pamper and baby me.Afterward, I needed to be f*cked fast and hard, so I would find someone like TuffKid69. He was always rough and rock-hard, with no interest in taking it slow or playing games.I could just type, "F*ck me now," and we were off—lots of oh my gods and yes, baby, yes, and screaming, "Do it harder, faster!" A refreshing change from the subtle psychology involved in more complex scenarios.RELATED: Sultry Stories That'll Spice Up Your Sex Life But that was the thrill for me. Working out someone's own particular little secret quirks and then getting myself off by giving it to them—all on a computer—made it even better than if it had happened in real life.And I screwed the hell out of the minds of men with qualities that excited me, just for the physical and emotional high. I desperately needed excitement after many numb years watching the laundry go round and the chicken dinner defrost.It didn't seem cheap or slutty to me. I wasn't touching anyone and no one was touching me. It was just words, woven together to create a new reality using only the atmosphere, like smoke in the wind.Well, he was much older than I and, surprisingly, found the whole thing harmless and ridiculous. He wasn't concerned about what I was doing on the computer, as long as I kept the noise down while the game was on.I was safely in the house, not having a real affair, so he was happy that I "had a hobby," leaving him undisturbed after work to get some peace and quiet. RELATED: 50 Love Quotes We Simply Adore As I drifted off to sleep on the third night, I thought, "All this for the same price per month as your average Tuesday night bar tab. And I still have 362 more days."Then, for the first time in as long as I could remember, I went to sleep excited for tomorrow to come.

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Smelling poop is gross enough, so the possibility that poop molecules are getting into your nose is outright disgusting. Learn more at HowStuffWorks.

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Chemistry is definitely a requirement for a fulfilling relationship, but it doesn’t always transpire in the way we would like to think. Most of us have visions of being swept off of our feet by Mr./Ms. Right. We imagine there will be that initial, magical moment where our eyes lock and we lose ourselves in each other, but real life is a little more complicated.

Have you ever disagreed with a friend about whether or not someone was attractive? My guess is that you have. The reason is because chemistry is unique to each individual. It’s about way more than just someone’s physical appearance. Someone you may not initially find attractive can become much more attractive within mere moments of chatting with them face to face.

On rare occasions you may have instant chemistry with someone, but be careful because that physiological attraction response can be misleading. In order for a relationship to be successful, there needs to be more than just physical attraction.

On a deep level, chemistry truly begins with sharing the same philosophies about life. What deeply connects us to someone and creates that spark is often likeness. At our core, we all want to share certain experiences and values — and we feel validated by people who share those values. It is helpful to share the same philosophies about life, children, family, money, intimacy, and communication.

It is also important to be able to share some day-to-day passions that the two of you can engage in together, be that golf, meatballs, Star Wars, or Bruno Mars concerts. Living a happy life together is about sharing experiences.

Your experience of chemistry with someone is also influenced by the way that person carries himself or herself. Again, what you find attractive here is based on your own unique persona. Some are attracted to smart and quiet, others the boisterous life of the party.

A part of how your match treats you is how he or she responds to your efforts to show you care about them. We all make gestures to try and show our care, love, and affection for a partner. How your partner responds to your specific gestures is a big part of chemistry. If your gestures are well received and appreciated, the chemistry you feel toward them will skyrocket.

I am the lead matchmaker for eHarmony’s personal matchmaking service, eH+. Every day I talk with clients who we are helping find love. I often hear them say, “If I am not attracted to a match’s photo, I am not interested.” For me, this is such a shame. I feel like many people miss out on love because they are stuck behind a computer analyzing someone’s potential from a distance.

Here’s what we explain to our clients. Chemistry is a tricky and complicated thing, comprised of many different connections with a person. I can’t even tell you how many times I have had an open minded client say something like “I am not feeling an initial attraction, but I will go out with him.” When we follow up on the date, she will often say “I was so shocked because he was more attractive in person!”

Here’s my best advice: If someone seems to have a lot of the qualities you are looking for, get out there and meet them. That will be the only way to really determine if you have chemistry with them.

Have you ever met someone — and had the chemistry blossom a bit later?

 

About Ashley and eH+:

eHarmony’s new service, eH+,  gives you the benefit of a personal matchmaker who picks your matches and guides you to success. We’re taking the best of what eHarmony does and combining that with what personal matchmakers do best – person-to-person conversation, opportunities for feedback, and coaching to put your best foot forward.

Learn More about eH+.

eHarmony users, be sure to include your phone number in your account information so that Ashley can contact you if you are a match for an eH+ client.

The post Chemistry: You Know You Want It, but What Is It? appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

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There are safer ways to remove earwax than sticking a cotton swab in your ear. Learn about safe ways to remove earwax at HowStuffWorks.

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