Lisa Find Love

Relationship Matters Podcast Number 78 “Depression, emotion regulation and the demand and withdraw pattern during intimate relationship conflict: Dr Sarah Holley discusses her paper which investigates the relationship between depression and the demand/withdraw pattern common in conflict in romantic couples. Read the associated article here. 

Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.

Relationship Matters Podcast Number 77 “The wandering eye perceives more threats”: Dr Angela Neal talks about how anger builds within a relationship as people project their own attraction towards other people onto their partners’ and how this projection alters their perceptions of their partner’s attraction to others; increasing the perceived threat to the relationship. Read the associated article here. 

Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.

Relationship Matters Podcast Number 76 “Feeling bad when your partner is away”: Dr Nathalie Meuwly discusses her recent study which explores the correlation between attachment insecurity and peoples negative cognitions and dysfunctional affect regulation when faced with potential relationship threats. Read the associated article here. 

Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.

Relationship Matters Podcast Number 75 “Responses to intimate partners to attempts to change”: Dr Kieran Sullivan talks about her recent paper on her research on the effectiveness of intimate partners’ attempts to influence health behaviour through social control. Read the associated article here.  

Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.

Photo Credit: MedicalNewsToday.comMarriage is supposed to be a happy occasion, but on occasion it may also undermine mental health. To determine marriage’s effect on depressive symptoms, researchers assessed 152 women during their engagement and then again 6 months post-wedding. Overall, rough 1 in 10 women (12%) reported increased depressive symptoms from before to after marriage (by comparison 6% experienced fewer symptoms). Researchers also explored uncertainty in one’s self, the partner, and the relationship and found that when uncertainty increased in any domain, it coincided with increases in depressive symptoms. Overall, those who were more certain about their relationship experiences less “post wedding blues.”

Scott, A. M., & Stafford, L. (2018). An investigation of relational turbulence and depressive symptoms in newly married women. Personal Relationships, 25, 22-37. 

Photo Credit: ellebangsThere is a common belief that hair parted on the right side makes a person appear more feminine and warmer, while parts on the left give the impression of greater masculinity and competence. Researchers tested this assumption across three studies with a total of 3,819 participants, using digitally altered photos that kept every aspect of a person’s picture the same, except for the hair style. In all studies, hair part location did not significantly influence perceptions of appearance. This was true for both women and men, and for a variety of expressions (e.g., neutral, smiling). Ultimately it appears that how you part your hair does not have a meaningful influence on your appearance.

Frimer, J. A. (2018). Does the left hair part look better (or worse) than the right? Social Psychological and Personality Science. Online first March 23, 2018. doi.org/10.1177/1948550618762500 

Relationship Matters Podcast Number 59 “People they are a changin’: the links between anticipating change and romantic relationship quality”: Anika Cloutier from Queen’s University, Ontario, Canada discusses how people’s relationships change over time; and how anticipating a future where themselves and their partner either both change in a similar way, or both stay the same can enable a higher relationship quality between them. Read the associated article here.

Interested in learning more about relationships? Click here for other topics on Science of Relationships. Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your NewsFeed. Learn more about our book and download it here.

By Jennifer Harman Ph.D. - Colorado State University

Adventures in Blending: Memoirs of Mixing Families

Photo Credit: News.com.au

After the Consultant and I moved our families in together, his youngest daughter (who I will refer to as #3 due to her birth order in our blended brood) started to attend the same elementary school as my two boys. I picked up my sons from school one day during a week when the Consultant’s kids were with their mother. While walking past us and after saying hello, a friend of #3’s asked, “who were they?” Her response was “they are my step-brothers.” My mouth dropped. Over the next several months, we then heard all of the children refer to each other as stepsiblings, without prompting or being instructed to do so. The Consultant and I were touched to say the least.

In September of 2017, Melania Trump gave a speech to the United Nations in which she spoke out against the harms caused by individuals who engage in cyberbullying, or  “intentional aggressive behavior that is carried out repeatedly, occurs between a perpetrator and victim who are unequal in power, and occurs through electronic technologies”.¹ Few could argue with her urging of the world’s leaders to focus on this issue; the media is ripe with gut-wrenching stories of young (and old) people whose lives have been devastated by digital bullies. 

By Jennifer Harman Ph.D. - Colorado State University

Adventures in Blending: Memoirs of Mixing Families

Before launching back into a blog about being a (step)parent in a blended family, it is important to first describe how and why we became that way. I will start with our decision to move in together, something I wrote a little about a few years ago. I neglected to share, however, just how we came to the decision, which was not an easy one to make.

By Jennifer Harman Ph.D. - Colorado State University

Adventures in Blending: Memoirs of Mixing Families

A few years ago, I shared my ups and downs of the dating scene in my blog Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom. Although dating is not necessarily a novel blog topic, I wrote about it from the perspective of a single mom. I also wrote about dating from the perspective of a researcher who studies and thinks about relationships all the time. For those who know me well, they know that I am constantly quoting empirical studies and psychological theories to explain why different things happen in relationships. Trust me, it’s endearing.

Relationship science can weigh in on whether you’re with a winner. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Monmouth University

Decisions are a part of life. At various times you may need to choose the best vacation spot, job candidate, babysitter, or place to live. Your most important decision may be figuring out your best romantic partner. Relationships matter – a lot. They have implications for your health, your reactions to stress and even how you look at the world.

But how can you determine if your current romantic partner is the best of the best for you? It’s hard to know what factors truly matter, what you should not overvalue, or what is best to ignore entirely.

It appears that Selena Gomez and Justin Beiber may be back together, and this time it may be even more serious than before.  Although their previous relationship volatility makes me suspect, I have to say, who hasn’t rekindled (or gotten back together with an ex)?  In case you, like these lovebirds, find yourself in an on-again/off-again relationship there are a few things you should know.

It’s that time of year again. Everyone I know is joining a gym, beginning a diet, and trying to start anew for the New Year. This year I’ve decided to do things a little differently. Instead of my typical New Year’s resolutions, which focus on work and personal goals, I’m writing relationship resolutions. Here are a few relationship enhancing behaviors that I’m going to work on in the coming weeks and months. Feel free to join me if you’d like to make your romantic relationship a happier, healthier union.

1. Be more positive

There are a host of reasons why positivity beats out negativity. Not only is positivity more attractive than pessimism or cynicism,¹ it’s also a winning strategy for navigating relationship conflict. Interestingly, relationship researchers found that people are particularly sensitive to negative feedback and that couples who engage in a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments are more likely to stay together.² I take this to mean that a little negativity goes a long way, and sometimes even an unintentional slight or criticism can have a powerful impact. I vow to try to be more positive, generally, but particularly when things get heated. 

The issue: People have a need to feel autonomous (i.e., they need to feel like they are doing something because they want to and not because someone forced them to).¹ When people are dominant, they try to take control of the situation, which may make others feel less autonomous.² Feeling controlled can be disheartening and is linked to poor well-being.³ And people who have dominant partners tend to be unhappy in the relationship (i.e., have lower relationship satisfaction).⁴ In an article published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers wanted to understand why having a dominant partner is linked to lower relationship satisfaction.² (Click here for the full article)