5 Bullsh*t Excuses Men Give to Get Out of Relationships

One brave guy owns up to the nonsense. Thousands of years ago, soon after two starry-eyed cave people entwined themselves in the first monogamous relationship, a caveman made the very first bullsh*t relationship excuse. Considering the era, it was probably “I’m just at a point in my life where I’m really focused on my rocks” or “Not you; it me.” Since then, guys have continued to skirt issues, talk circles, and confuse everyone involved when making excuses to end relationships. Here are some of the most common, as well as why they should go the way of that cave dude.1. “It’s Not You—It’s Me.”James Dean. Marilyn Monroe. The Whopper. These are the classics. The true originals from whom all others steal. Just like them, INYIM is a distillation of every quality that makes bullsh*t excuses true bullsh*t. Patronizing? Check. Nonsensical? Check. Vague? Check. Not to mention it’s cliché. If he thinks he thinks you’ve never heard this one before, he’s not into Seinfeld, Dawson’s Creek, or Boy Meets World—and who wants to date that monster?2. “I’m Just Not Wired for Long-Term Commitment.”He wants a relationship, but he’s just too evolved. The life he has to live can’t possibly be contained by one partner. He’s complex, dynamic. He thrives on variation. He’d love to keep talking about this, but he actually has to go to his weekly standing Mario Kart and Chili Dogs meet-up with his college buddies. He knows it doesn’t sound like much, but he can’t miss it. They’ve been committed to this for years.RELATED: 6 Telltale Signs Guys Think You're Clingy3. “Things are Just So Crazy Right Now.”Maybe he recently lost a job. Maybe he’s in the middle of a move. Maybe he just replaced Shifty Shellshock as lead singer of early 2000s rap metal band, Crazy Town. But when things are crazy, people generally look to their inner circle for support. If he’s not into that, it’s probably because he’s not really into the relationship.4. “I Need to Focus on My Music/Comedy/Rocks/Musical Rock Comedy.”A true creative suffers for his art. So it logically follows that the more people who suffer, the more creative the art, right? Wrong—but artist boyfriends sure like to act this way. Maybe it’s a scheduling issue. After all, the black box theatre willing to put on “ROCKS: THE IMPROV MUSICAL” probably keeps some pretty strange hours. But if he’s not willing to compromise on his time, there’s little else he’ll budge on.RELATED: 10 Things Every Man Wants in Bed5. “I Don’t Want to Hurt You Like I’ve Hurt Girls Before.”“I want to hurt you more!” This one takes the cake by not only remaining vague but also adding a nice sheen of narcissism and bringing to mind girls that you weren’t aware of or thinking about in the first place. The best remedy for this serial narcissist is to peace out and do what these girls he can’t seem to forget did: never think about him again.RELATED: 11 Reasons Men Might Turn Down Sex



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