Your Step-by-Step Guide to Trying Mutual Masturbation

Kill two birds with one stone. You masturbate. He masturbates. Both are sexy separately...but together? Despite your instincts to keep your solo time, well, solo, getting off as a pair can be a huge turn-on, says sex therapist Danielle Harel, Ph.D. "It can be scary [at first] but also freeing and intimate," she says. We promise it won't be as awkward as you're worried it might be—but to help you skip any uncomfortable moments and go straight to the hot-as-hell phase, we put together a primer for masturbating side-by-side.RELATED: 21 Ways to Have WAY More Fun with MasturbationBefore you start stripping, Harel recommends chatting with your partner about what might turn you both on. Do you want to sit closely, across the bed, or on opposite sides of the room so you can see each other fully and have the tease of not being able to touch each other? Discuss beforehand whether you want to give and receive instructions while touching or if you just want to observe one another. "Some people like being told hot, dirty stories," says Harel. "Others can't concentrate if they have to listen."Once you've agreed on the major elements, think about your environment, recommends Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of Sexpert.com and author of NeuroLoveology. This can involve dimming the lights or putting out scented candles and playing soft music. "Make sure you are in a comfortable and safe place where you can both relax, whether it's on a bed, sofa, bathtub, or on the floor in front of a fireplace," she says.Okay, you're ready to do this. But before you start stripping, spend some time breathing in slowly and deeply while looking into each other's eyes, says Cadell. This doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out step, but it will help you both relax. Then, gradually undress while maintaining as much eye contact as possible; it will help you to stay focused and feel connected. This would be the perfect time to give your partner a sexy compliment detailing what exactly you like about what you see.RELATED: Watch Men Guess How Often You Masturbate Use your fingers to explore your own bodies from top to bottoom: Run your digits from your lips to your neck. You can linger around your breasts, then move down your stomach and across your hips. Continue breathing deeply, and definitely feel free to moan if you like the way your hands feel against your skin. Exploring more parts of your body than you normally would will make the visuals more erotic for your partner—and will feel pretty freaking amazing for you, too.When you're ready, slip the tips of your fingers between your legs, and softly caress the inside of your thighs, then start touching your clitoris and going inside your vagina if you'd like. Of course, watching your partner during all of this is encouraged—but remember to keep touching yourself as you do.Cadell recommends grabbing a sex toy to stimulate your major erogenous zones, like your nipples and clitoris. Let the dildo or vibrator linger on your breasts, teasing your nipples. Then dip it down slowly until you reach your clit and hold it there as long as you like.Use the toy and your fingers to fondle yourself gently, and watch your partner as he touches himself in return. Take it slow, and really allow yourself to feel your own touch knowing that your guy is getting more and more aroused with each passing moment.RELATED: What It Means If Your Partner Masturbates a LotRoll over so your partner can view you from a different angle, like doggie style, says Cadell. Spread your legs just enough so you can start to penetrate yourself with your fingers or the toy. Ease in and out, rocking your hips so you're moving side to side as your fingers or the device glides in and out of you. If you entered from the front, eventually switch it up and take yourself from behind. And encourage him to switch positions, too, if that seems sexy to you.When one of you is getting close to orgasm, say so out loud to let the other person know. You can try to come at the same time, although Harel says the likelihood of it happening is slim .During climax, you may want to close your eyes but give your guy strong eye contact when you reopen them. If he hasn't come already, continue watching him with your body on full display. Don't cover yourself up or look away. You can even touch yourself more or keep your legs wide so he can take you in as he crosses the threshold.

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