Confidence is one of the most sought after qualities in a mate, but most of us walk into dates lacking it. Fear is often the culprit for your lack of confidence. You fear being rejected or not liked and in turn, are awkward.
How does one overcome their fear of being rejected and show up more confident to their dates? Follow this easy two-step method:
Pick an area of your life where you are very confident.
You’re going to visualize a part of your life where you are very confident and do not fear rejection. Maybe it’s in your career where you can sell anyone pretty much anything. Maybe you’re creative – the actor who truly believes in his talent. Maybe you feel the most confident at the gym, where you can go on for hours about what type of workout is the most effective.
Whatever the area of your life you are most confident in, think about it now. Close your eyes and place yourself at the office, the audition, gym, or wherever you are most confident, and see it through your own eyes.
Ask yourself, what makes me so confident in this area of my life?
For most the answer is simple. You believe in your talent, in the product you’re selling, or in the knowledge you have. You believe that your talent, product or knowledge will have a positive impact on someone. You believe that it can change their life.
Ask yourself, what does it feels like to be rejected in that area of your life?
When you are rejected in that area of your life, you somehow don’t think of it as failure. Because in that area of your life you understand that rejection is not failure. That maybe the product wasn’t right for that person, or it’s not the right time for them. You understand that their rejection is not a reflection of you.
After all, you only fail by not trying. You only fail by not taking a chance. You only fail when you don’t take action in that part of your life.
Ahead of your date, turn that belief inward.
The next time you are on your way to a date, think about that area of your life where you are most confident and turn that belief inwards. Begin to believe in yourself. Think about the positive impact you can have on that person’s life.
By showing up confident to this date, you can change this person’s life. While this seems like a bold statement, it is 100% true. The person sitting across from you on this date may be your soul mate and both of your lives can be changed forever simply because you didn’t allow fear to get in the way.
If it doesn’t work out, just like in your career, health or other part of your life, it was simply not meant to be. They were looking for X, and your talent, knowledge or product is Y.
Y is still totally great for the right person.
About the Author:
Ravid Yosef is a Dating & Relationship coach living in Los Angeles. Adamant about sharing the lessons she learned about love and life after cancer, she established LoveLifeTBD.com, a personal blog in April of 2014 and has written over 100 advice articles. Her advice columns and personal essays have been featured on YourTango, Care, Women.com, Fox Magazine, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, Psych Central, and many other online publications.
The post First Dates: 4 Simple Steps to Feel More Confident appeared first on eHarmony Advice.
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