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In his new book, Meaning Systems and Mental Health Culture: Critical Perspectives on Contemporary Counseling and Psychotherapy, James T. Hansen argues that although meaning systems are central to the human experience, they have been largely ignored in present-day mental health culture.

Drawing on numerous historical and philosophical examples, Hansen outlines the ways in which meaning systems shape the way we come to understand ourselves, others, and the world around us. He makes the convincing case that because they are the omnipresent shaping forces of life, meaning systems should be a primary consideration when attempting to alleviate psychological suffering.

Hansen begins by defining meaning systems: “Meaning systems are the ways in which people structure and makes sense of the world on individual, social and cultural levels.” Meaning-making is an individual process, the assumptive world we create, a social process, where the meaning-creation process happens between people and not solely within them, and is highly influenced by the culture in which we live. And all meaning systems are central to the healing process.

However, Hansen writes, “The meaning market is clearly not free; it is highly regulated by meaning monopolies.” One such monopoly is the medical model, which reduces problems to symptoms, thereby stripping away the meanings that animate psychological suffering. When people are simply classified into a set of symptoms that match a psychological diagnosis, not only are they severely objectified, but they may fulfill the prophecies foretold by their disorders.

And yet there can be many reasons that helping professions continue to rely on the medical model, despite its disenfranchisement of individual realities. The medical model does attempt to make complex life circumstances and histories fit into easy-to-identify categories. Favoring universal laws and concrete truths over the more complex real-life human problems like poverty, immigration, loss, and financial stress, the medical model seeks to quickly diagnose, treat, and move on.

The medical model also provides incentives for professionals in the helping field, since being the expert in the room offers a sense of authority and power. Hansen writes, “Symptom-based diagnostic expansionism and false diagnostic homogeneities are not simply an accidental by-product of descriptive psychiatric ideology. Rather, there are strong professional incentives for widening the diagnostic net. The pharmaceutical industry, for instance, is a major financial beneficiary of psychiatric expansionism.” In other words, for those who provide medication for all those diagnoses — namely the pharmaceutical industry — more diagnosable disorders lead to the need for more prescription medication to treat all those disorders, and the pharmaceutical companies profit.

And yet, psychiatric expansionism doesn’t just over-diagnose and overprescribe. It narrows the definition of normal. Hansen describes what could be called homo-normalis (HN) as a person who is unflappable in the face of life changes, would never fall prey to adjustment disorder, and would be immune to developing “emotional or behavioral symptoms in response to identifiable stressors.” HNs would never display behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of their culture. “Clearly,” Hansen writes, “HN is not a civil rights leader, agent of social change, or person who challenges the status-quo in any realm.”

Perhaps even more troubling, however, is that psychiatric expansionism overlooks the potential for psychological growth that exists in distress. By reducing the many psychological, cultural, and relational dimensions of life to quickly diagnosed and quickly medicated problems — what is known as biological reductionism — people are often encouraged to anesthetize their psychological pain rather than experience and grow from it. Further, the defensive use of psychiatric diagnostics to avoid facing troubling realities is not only used by therapists and their clients but has also been adopted by the larger culture. And yet, Hansen tells us, “there is good evidence that antidepressant medication may be no more effective than a placebo for mild and moderate depression.”

Instead of relying on diagnostics and psychiatric medications to overcome troubling life events, what those in the helping professions really need, Hansen argues, is training in the “common factors of therapy”, such as developing healing relationships. Hansen writes, “The outcome research strongly suggests that relational factors, which are common to all therapeutic systems, are primarily responsible for outcomes, not isolated techniques.” What is also needed is a separation between the mental health field and the medical model, as Hansen explains, “A connection between talk therapy and the field of medicine is no more sensible than a connection between talk therapy and personal finance.”

Lastly, as oppose to following the culture, the mental health field should follow the evidence. And what the evidence clearly says is that when an appreciation for meaning systems and helping relationships is at the center for those in helping professions, not just is the mental health field itself made better, but the client is given the opportunity for psychological growth.

Meaning Systems and Mental Health Culture: Critical Perspectives on Counseling and Psychotherapy
Lexington Books, February 2016
Hardcover, 200 Pages
$80.00

“While weeding, I saw something scamper under a tomato plant. We have two dogs, Mollie and Millie, so I placed this bundle of cuteness out of harm’s way while I fetched her two siblings,” says Brook Burling of Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. “After moving the whole family to a safer spot, I found and patched the hole in the fence.”

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In tropical areas from China, Asia, and Africa to the Caribbean and South America, bitter melon is both a food and a medicine. Unripe, its fruit resembles a warty, green cucumber that gradually turns orange with bright red edible seeds as it matures. Despite an exceedingly bitter taste, the fruits and sometimes the leaves are widely used in a variety of ethnic dishes. Bitter melon is a major constituent of the Okinawan diet and, some say, is key to the renowned longevity of the Japanese island people. Modern research has largely focused on its potential for treating diabetes.

How Bitter Melon Works

Although the human evidence is not yet strong, laboratory studies show that bitter melon has a hypoglycemic (blood glucose-lowering) action, and helps to control insulin levels. The constituents thought to be responsible for this action are charantin, plus alkaloids and peptides that mimic insulin. They may also trigger the production of a protein that encourages glucose uptake in the body.

In addition, charantin appears to stimulate the growth of pancreatic beta cells, which produce insulin. In type 1 diabetes, the immune system destroys beta cells; in other types of diabetes the functioning of beta cells is impaired.

Laboratory studies support other traditional uses of bitter melon, suggesting that different constituents have antiviral and antibacterial properties that might help to treat disorders including salmonella and E. coli infections, herpes and HIV viruses, malaria, and parasitic worms. An extract of bitter melon proteins is claimed to inhibit prostate tumor growth and a number of in vitro studies suggest it may have potential for combating other cancers and leukemia.

How to Use Bitter Melon

Traditionally bitter melon is taken as a fresh juice, decoction, or tincture. Concentrated fruit, seed, and whole herb extracts are also available as tablets, capsules, or powders. Follow label instructions or take as professionally prescribed.

Safety First

Take care if taking bitter melon with blood glucose–lowering medications as it can enhance their effect. It has a weak uterine stimulant activity so must not be used during pregnancy or breastfeeding. Bitter melon should not be taken by people with glucose-6- phosphate dehydrogenase (G6PDH) deficiency (a genetic condition most common in people from the Mediterranean and Middle East) due to a risk of hemolytic anemia.

Where to Find Bitter Melon

The fresh fruit is available in some supermarkets and Asian stores. Bitter melon supplements are available in health food stores or from a qualified herbalist.

Get More Natural Remedies Doctors Approve!
The book Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies offers effective ways to treat more than 85 health conditions and evaluates the most commonly used alternative therapies and supplements. Learn more and buy Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies here.

My home can sometimes be the embodiment of chaos. My oldest child is four years old and working through attempting to control every detail. There is also the fifteen-month-old, who is cutting at least four teeth right now and rivaling Mommy Dearest’s greatest tantrum on almost an hourly basis. Finally, there is our newborn baby, and any parent will automatically know the struggles that come with the beauty of a new addition to the family. At any one time, all three children can be having their own epic meltdowns while my husband and I attempt to run defense à la the Denver Broncos 2015 line up.

All this to say that when I saw the opportunity to read and review Ready, Set, Breathe, by Dr. Carla Naumburg, I jumped at the chance.

Naumburg’s book is the guidebook for parents who are looking for a way to bring some calm to their homes and children’s lives, even if it is just for a moment. The full title says it all; Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family. There is no lecturing, nagging, or impracticality presented in this book. Rather, Naumburg’s approach is straightforward, sympathetic, and realistic.

Most people understand that they cannot change another person’s behavior, but rather, can only change their reactions or their own initial behaviors. Thus, Naumburg’s approach starts with the parent. Her introduction and first few chapters address how mindfulness in the home begins with the parents. She describes mindful parenting as: “Making a choice to focus our attention on the present moment, with kindness and curiosity, so we can make a thoughtful choice about how to proceed rather than react out of frustration or confusion.”

For the potential skeptic, Naumburg provides a list of the benefits of mindfulness, including decreasing anxiety, better sleep, and improved concentration. Even her own personal anecdotes reveal that in order for mindfulness to be effective in children, the parent must initiate it in their own lives. For example, parents who are overwhelmed and frustrated cannot adequately guide a child through deep breathing without first taking a step back to calm themselves. Possibly the best exercise for this is STOP, which stands for Stop, Take a Breath, Observe, and Proceed. Naumburg explains that this exercise allows parents to come back to the present moment before proceeding to their next step.

As the book moves into introducing children to mindfulness, Naumburg explains that mindfulness embodies five main experiences: concentration, creativity, curiosity, compassion and silence. These experiences provide parents a glimpse at when their child is having a mindful moment; these are moments that can be expanded on if addressed appropriately by the parent (which may mean doing absolutely nothing). Naumburg elaborates on these five experiences individually, providing examples of how to expand on the experience for the child. One tip that she provides is to create a “Calm-Down Corner” for children. She provides suggestions for how to decorate the area, toys that would be conducive to calming a child, etc.

The final chapter of Ready, Set, Breathe is titled “Your Mindfulness Toy Box.” The true gold of this book, the final chapter is a list with descriptions of ways to expand and implement mindfulness practices into a family’s life together. A few of the examples from this chapter include:

• Guided meditations and visualizations at bedtime
• Teaching children to put down the fork between bites at meals.
• Using “finger hugs” (entwining fingers with your child) to help children feel more connected and grounded when it is a particularly busy moment
• Have children practice “stealth compassion”: children send “secret happy wishes” to people they know

I quit highlighting and taking notes at this point in my reading because I was certain the pages would be ruined beyond readability if I continued.

With an amazing list of resources and references to support her writing, Dr. Carla Naumburg’s Ready, Set, Breathe is an incredible resource for parents everywhere. Her book is researched without being verbose, practical without being dry and aloof, as well as compassionate and sympathetic without being whiny and self-pitying. I recommend that parents purchase this book before their next breath, or at least before the next epic tantrum.

Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family
New Harbinger Publications, December 2015
Paperback, 224 pages
$16.95

These brilliant men and women have revolutionized science, medicine, and our understanding of the cosmos. But what do they tell their kids before bedtime?

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In the latest episode of Relationship Matters, the official podcast of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Dr. Crystal Jiang from City University of Hong Kong discusses self-disclosure of emerging adults to their parents and it relates to their process of separation and becoming an individual. You can listen to the podcast here, and read the associated article here.

Most of us know that sexual compatibility plays an important role in how satisfied we feel with our romantic relationships. What most of us don’t know, however, is that there are actually two types of sexual compatibility: perceived sexual compatibility (how sexually compatible we think we are with our partners) and actual sexual compatibility (how sexually compatible we actually are with our partners). New research has enhanced our understanding of both types of sexual compatibility, along with their implications for partners’ sexual and relationship satisfaction.

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I am constantly looking for resources both for my counseling clients and for my taijiquan students that can help them manage anxiety, pain, and emotional regulation. Carolyn Daitch and Lissah Lorberbaum have provided a wonderful resource with The Road to Calm Workbook. This work is a follow up to Daitch’s 2007 book, The Affect Regulation Toolbox, which was written for mental health professionals. The Road to Calm Workbook is for everyone.

The Road to Calm is very user friendly. The authors start with a quote from Viktor Frankl: “Between the stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” The authors take this to heart and put it into a practice that anyone can do.

The first part of the workbook is an excellent guide to getting to know yourself and how you manage your emotions. The authors begin by teaching us about the dynamics of emotional flooding, and immediately we get a chance to explore our relationship with feelings such as anger, fear and loneliness through questions and rating scales. We also learn the physiology that drives emotional flooding — how the brain acts and reacts and the effects on the body. We are guided through exercises that help us find where we are on the continuum of the stress response, from generalized anxiety to panic, obsessive compulsive problems, intermittent explosiveness, posttraumatic stress, and depression. We identify triggers, we identify ways that we handle relationships, and we begin to see patterns contributing to our distress. Each chapter has a summary of “take away points” to help us develop our own toolbox.

The second part teaches us how to regulate our emotions and stop the flooding. It begins with stress inoculation, something I first learned about many years ago in a workshop with Donald Meichenbaum. The procedure works well, and I have used it on myself and shared it with clients and students. The authors are very thorough in telling us how and why it works, and in a step-by-step guide, how to set it up to work for us. We learn breathing, creating a safe space, creating our own self affirmations, and the stress inoculation process itself. The authors also help us structure time so that we can practice daily and make it a part of our routine by employing one of the many helpful checklists in the workbook.

After all this preparation, we are ready to begin the STOP program. STOP stands for Scan your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and bodily sensations that indicate emotional flooding is either occurring or on its way; Take a time-out; Overcome initial flooding using fast-acting interventions to de-escalate runaway emotions; and Put the twelve tools in place. We learn how to put this into action, and then we learn the twelve tools, ranging from mindfulness with detached observation to self statements, heavy hands and heavy legs to juxtaposing two thoughts and feelings.

The workbook has lots of space for writing so you can deeply and thoughtfully put these tools into action. The book includes a CD with 36 guided exercises that take you through each step of the process. There are guides for dealing with specific stressors, like frustration, hopelessness and anger, or relationship stressors, like feelings of abandonment or betrayal, with the tools presented in the order that would be prescribed for that particular issue. For example, if you are worried, you can look at the tool-sets chart and see that for worry, you begin with Tool 1, mindfulness with detached observation, followed by Tool 3, dialing down reactivity, followed by Tool 11, postponement, and finishing with Tool 12, self statements. The chart also refers you to audio track 18 to guide you through the process. The audio tracks are very well done. Daitch talks you through each step while relaxing music plays.

The book ends with ways to help you consolidate and build on all of the work you have done in the workbook. And it has a list of online resources, books, audio resources, referrals to therapists, tables of the STOP process for typical problems, and additional blank inventory worksheets. To top things off, there is an app for your smart phone so that you can take your workbook with you wherever you go. Apps are downloaded at the app store for your phone. There is a free and a premium version.

This book is extremely well-thought-out and structured and is an excellent resource for anyone dealing with anxiety and all that goes with distress.

The Road to Calm Workbook: Life-changing Tools to Stop Runaway Emotions
W.W. Norton and Company, April 2016
Paperback, 224 pages
$24.95

These timeless looks are fit for a princess.

My husband, Shawn, and I enjoy seeing life through the eyes of our five children. It’s amazing to watch as they discover their world.

While we were outdoors last summer enjoying the sunshine, our oldest daughter, Kaytlin, called me to the porch. Beneath the steps was a baby red squirrel.

We watched it from a distance, not wanting to disturb it or scare off its mother. But after a long wait—and looking all around our property for traces of a nest or a mother—we realized the tiny squirrel was likely an orphan.

Shaking terribly, he was frail, thin, and hungry. We tried to find an expert to help, but the Inland Fisheries and Wildlife website showed that there were no wildlife rehabilitators in our county. After some quick research, we concluded that the best way to give the squirrel a fighting chance was to care for him ourselves. So a trip to the local Tractor Supply store for puppy formula and supplies was in order.

More extensive research taught us how much to feed him, how to estimate his age, how and when to wean him, and that we should release him as soon as he could survive on his own.

Our daughters and I shared rotations of feeding “Squirt.” Kaytlin took on the most responsibility. She taught him to eat from a syringe, and she woke in the night for his feeds.

To our relief, Squirt soon began to thrive. Within a few weeks he became more alert and active. He would chatter for his next meal, playfully crawl around on the girls, and curl up on them for a nap. It wasn’t long before he was weaned onto solid food and reintroduced to the wild.

His first few visits to the great outdoors were comical. Just like a child, he would play in the grass some and then run back to Kaytlin for safety. Soon she had him climbing trees and finding nest material.

One day in the trees, he met up with a family of gray squirrels that was none too happy about his visit. They scolded and swatted at him, and he quickly learned some social skills. For several days he played all day in the trees surrounding our house but came down at bedtime.

And then one night, he didn’t. The rain pounded hard, and our girls fretted. But when the sun rose, there was Squirt, begging for a bite to eat. And that remained the pattern for a few weeks.

Squirt became well known in our neighborhood, and visitors knew to be on the lookout when they stopped by. But mostly he played in the trees, chattering away to anyone who happened to cross his path and occasionally swiping snacks from our toddler boys.

The experience was entertaining and heartwarming for our family. In the wild and somewhat silly moments of raising an orphaned baby squirrel, our children learned to value and appreciate life.

This traditional herbal remedy is nicknamed “bog rhubarb,” because it grows in damp, marshy areas. It was once used in Europe to treat the plague; today, it is used for seasonal allergies (such as hay fever), colds and flu, and asthma, as well as providing effective relief for migraines.

How Butterbur Works

Butterbur has natural antiallergenic, anti-inflammatory, antispasmodic, and mildly analgesic (pain-relieving) effects. It works by decreasing the secretion of histamine and leukotrienes by the immune cells, which are the main chemicals that the body releases during an allergic reaction to what it perceives as an invader such as pollen, dust, or animal dander. Butterbur is considered to be as effective as commonly available over-the-counter antihistamines for treating and controlling seasonal allergies such as hay fever. It acts to both mediate the allergic reaction and fight the inflammation in the upper respiratory tract, thereby alleviating allergy symptoms such as stuffy nose, sore throat, runny eyes, blocked ears, and sneezing, but without causing drowsiness. The active compounds it contains, called petasins, stop the inflammation associated with hay fever and may improve the efficacy of conventional inhalant preventive medications for asthma. Although evidence for the effectiveness of butterbur on allergies is small, many natural therapists and herbalists have found it useful for their patients.

Taken daily as a preventive, butterbur extract can bring relief to migraine sufferers, with clinical trials showing that it reduced the frequency, duration and intensity of migraine episodes. In one study published in Neurology, butterbur extract was found to be significantly more effective in reducing the frequency of migraines than placebo. It may also assist in relieving joint pain and menstrual cramps.

How to Use Butterbur

Butterbur is available in tablet or capsule form. Look for a product containing a standardized extract of petasins. Some manufacturers combine butterbur with other antiallergenic and anti-inflammatory ingredients, such as rosmarinic acid, nettle, quercetin or vitamin C, in formulas to prevent hay fever. Dosage depends on the potency of the product chosen. Follow label instructions or take as professionally prescribed. It is beneficial both as a treatment and a preventive for hay fever or seasonal allergies; if taking as a preventive, begin treatment around four to six weeks prior to the time when your symptoms usually first appear.

Safety First

Butterbur has not been widely tested during pregnancy or breastfeeding and so it is best avoided or used only under medical supervision during these periods. In rare instances, it may cause gastrointestinal upset, diarrhea, rashes, itchy eyes or skin, or drowsiness. Note that the wild plant contains compounds called pyrrolizidine alkaloids (PAs) that are toxic. However, standardized extracts used in herbal medicine are purified and often labelled “PA free.”

Where to Find Butterbur

Butterbur is available in health food stores or from a qualified herbalist.

Get More Natural Remedies Doctors Approve!
The book Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies offers effective ways to treat more than 85 health conditions and evaluates the most commonly used alternative therapies and supplements. Learn more and buy Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies here.

Have you ever wondered how great musicians, athletes, and writers become great? Maybe you have heard of the ten thousand hour rule (that to become exceptional at anything it takes ten thousand hours of practice), and questioned if it was true.

Answers to questions like this and many more can be found in the new book, Peak: Secrets From the New Science of Expertise, by Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool. In fact, while the ten thousand hour rule was made known by Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, Ericsson is actually the psychology professor who performed the studies.

And not only do Ericsson, whose work has been cited by numerous others, and Pool, who is a popular science writer with several other publications to his credit, dispel the misconceptions surrounding the rule, but they help us understand just what we need to be doing during those ten thousand hours to truly become exceptional.

It starts not just with practice, but purposeful practice. “Purposeful practice,” the authors write, “has several characteristics that set it apart from what we might call ‘naïve practice’ which is essentially just doing something repeatedly, and expecting that repetition alone will improve one’s performance.” Those characteristics — well defined and specific goals, focus, feedback, and getting out of our comfort zone — combine to move us past the usual place where we stop improving.

To prove the point, the authors introduce us to several examples of near freakish improvement, one of which is Steve Faloon, who worked with Ericsson to memorize strings of digits. By using Ericsson’s training methods, he was able to remember (and recite correctly) eighty-two random digits after only two hundred training sessions. Numerous other examples are cited from expert violinists, surgeons, and athletes — all who broke the mold of what was thought impossible.

And the reason they did, we are told, is because they refused to live in a world of “good enough.” Instead of lacking innate ability, or even capacity, what holds most people back, they write, “is that they are satisfied to live in a comfortable rut of homeostasis and never do the work that is required to get out of it.”

That work, of building our own potential and making things possible that were not before, begins with challenging our homeostasis, which means getting out of our comfort zone. But when we practice in a purposeful and deliberate way, we also develop highly sophisticated mental representations, which are mental structures that allow us to quickly take in vast amounts of information, organize it, recognize patterns, and even predict future outcomes. Mental representations, the authors tell us, are what allows surgeons to make lightning fast adjustments when the patient is on the table, chess masters to recognize patterns in a split second, and people like Steve Faloon to remember unthinkable amounts of numbers. And in a sort of feedback loop, the better our mental representations get, the better our practice becomes and more elaborate and well defined those representations are formed. Ultimately, mental representations take us from simply having the knowledge to having it organized in a way that is rapidly accessible.

But becoming great also means practicing in a way that clearly identifies what good performance is, what other experts do to be great, and what errors we make that keep us from reaching our potential. In short, we must move beyond simply putting in our ten thousand hours. Instead, we must start with the belief that our abilities are malleable and not limited by our genetically prescribed characteristics. Then we must look for ways to practice — especially what we are not so good at. We must focus on what we are doing, have clear goals, immediate feedback from an established mentor, and a way to measure our progress. And if we do all of these things, the authors remind us, that they “have found no limitations to the improvements that can be made with a particular type of practice.”

As engagement is one of the most powerful ways to improve the effectiveness of our performance, we can use shorter sessions with clearer goals. But we must know where we are falling short, and selectively look for ways to manufacture our own opportunities to improve. If we hit a plateau, which we likely will, the authors write, “the best way to move beyond it is to challenges your brain and your body in a new way.”

On the motivation to keep going when practice is tough, the authors tell us that those who maintain the grueling schedules that exceptional demands are not bestowed with a rare gift of grit or willpower. What motivation boils down to is a regimen that consistently strengthens the reasons to keep going, while weakening the reasons to stop.

Like Gladwell did in Outliers, Ericsson and Pool will have us rethinking our potential. But perhaps even more important, we will rethink what we need to break through our own barriers and realize our true capability. And because deliberate practice can open the door to a world of possibilities we may have been convinced were out of reach, there is no reason we shouldn’t open that door.

Peak: Secrets From the New Science of Expertise
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, April 2016
Hardcover, 336 Pages
$28.00

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Alexis might be only 2 here, but she has a grown-up, almost parental look of caring as she cuddles Blacky the kitten, peering into his eyes to make sure everything is OK. Her mother, Tanya Hanson of Amery, Wisconsin, shared this lovely snapshot of little Alexis holding a pet bottle, ready to feed these warm fluffballs that love her so much.

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Named for its almost year-round flowering from the Latin calendae, meaning the first day of the month, calendula has been used since ancient times to treat wounds and inflamed skin conditions. It is a member of the marigold family, but should not be confused with another popular genus, Tagetes, which is not medicinal. Herbal and cosmetic products are made from Calendula officinalis. The herb is easy to grow and the yellow edible flowers can add a colorful touch to salads.

How Calendula Works:
Although calendula has been used traditionally to treat stomach upsets, ulcers, and menstrual problems, scientific research has centered on its wound-healing properties. The dried petals—the parts used—contain high levels of flavonoids, including lutein and beta carotene, which are antioxidants that help protect against infection and cell damage caused by free radicals.

Laboratory and animal research has shown that calendula flower components have a marked anti-inflammatory and antibacterial action, and heal wounds by helping new blood vessels and new tissue to form. In patients with leg ulcers treated with either a calendula ointment or saline solution dressings, calendula helped ulcers heal much faster.
French researchers rated topical calendula “highly effective” for preventing dermatitis in women who had received radiation therapy for breast cancer.

How to Use Calendula:
There are many available creams, ointments, lotions, oils and more. Follow label instructions; or make your own soothing salve. Place dried flowers in a jar and fill with olive oil. Infuse for a few weeks, shaking the jar regularly. Strain the oil, then add beeswax—about 2 ounces to a cup of oil—and then heat until the beeswax melts. Add a few drops of essential oil fragrance, if desired, plus a little vitamin E, then store in a bottle or jar. You can also use an infusion of the flowers as a tea, a healing gargle or mouthwash, or in a compress to soothe wounds. Steep 1-2 teaspoons (5–10 ml) of petals in boiling water for 10–15 minutes and then strain.

Safety First
Calendula is considered very safe but be careful if you are taking sedatives, blood pressure or diabetes medications as it could enhance their effects.

Where to Find Calendula
Calendula products can be bought in health food stores, pharmacies or from a qualified herbalist.

Get More Natural Remedies Doctors Approve!
The book Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies offers effective ways to treat more than 85 health conditions and evaluates the most commonly used alternative therapies and supplements. Learn more and buy Doctors’ Favorite Natural Remedies here.

That kitchen tool isn’t limited to doling out frozen treats.

Bernard Golden, author of Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies that work, freely admits that his personal struggles with anger motivated him to write his book, advocate for individuals, and teach strategies to overcome or cope with anger. One of the things I appreciate about Overcoming Destructive Anger is its simplicity. Although the first few chapters might seem redundant and simplistic to some, the author does a good job of maintaining reader interest while also educating.

Part I of the book provides a general overview and engages the reader in identifying various kinds of anger and the “mechanisms” by which anger becomes psychologically, emotionally, and even neurologically ingrained. For many people, anger is often fueled by the culture in which we are born and in which we develop. But Golden explains that anger is cemented into behavior because we learn (through our environment, cultural experiences, and upbringing) to express and view anger in certain ways. We also develop patterns of anger because we find that it can be a tool to get us what we want in certain situations.

As a result, anger is reinforced by the responses that others exhibit toward the angry person. For example, drivers will move into the next lane to avoid coming in contact with the hostile emotions of an angry fellow driver. The hostile person, sadly, “learns” that their feelings and behaviors gets the person what he or she ultimately wants. Golden further explains that anger blocks accountability, provides an adrenaline rush, and feels “comfortable” because change is difficult.

Part II of the book provides an overview of ways to cultivate change and mindfulness. Golden discusses mindfulness practices and self-compassion as ways to cope with and ultimately change destructive anger. Part III focuses on interpersonal relationships and ways to practice what is learned throughout the book in relationships that may have been negatively affected by out of control anger.

For some readers, Overcoming Destructive Anger might not resonate. One thing that concerns me about Golden’s book is how overly simplistic it can be in regards to teaching tools for anger management. For example, Golden says at the beginning that readers will learn about anger and then read about tools and strategies that can help someone manage their anger. However, it could feel like the strategies provided in Parts II and III are not sufficient to help control powerful emotions.

For an individual struggling with years of anger, it may be difficult to read Golden’s book and relate to the information on mindfulness, self-compassion, and self-awareness. It also may be difficult to see the difference between Golden’s book and any other self-help book on the same topic.

In addition, while Golden provides an easy-to-understand overview, we must be careful not to minimize (intentionally or unintentionally) the destructive nature of anger. Anger is a very powerful emotion that is often at the top of multiple layers of life experience, resentment, cultural and social influence, inaccurate perceptions or thinking errors, trauma, abuse, untreated mental health conditions, personality disorders, and a myriad other similar things.

Despite some of the above observations, Golden’s book is a good first start for readers who are new to the topic of anger and its impact on the sufferer. For instance, it would be very helpful for adolescents or teenagers needing to learn more about their own anger. Golden’s book is certainly one that I will add to my library and recommend to clients.

Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies That Work
Johns Hopkins University Press, June 2016
Paperback, 224 pages
$19.95

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Approximately one in six Americans fall ill due to foodborne illness each year, with the onset of the summer months increasing your risk. Stay safe by following these important rules.

When I first read the title of Kayt Sukel’s The Art of Risk: The New Science Of Courage, Caution, and Chance, I’ll confess I had a mini adrenaline rush. After all, the topic of risk is exciting! The idea of a 288-page book dedicated to helping readers understand how to make more successful risky choices? Well, that is a read I can’t pass up! My excitement was short lived, however, after realizing that Sukel’s book more thoroughly explores human biology than how to improve your risk-taking abilities. The closest thing to “the art” of risk-taking is chalked up to a few points in the final chapter that could be easily summarized in a blog. This did come as a disappointment, but the analysis on risk was educational none the less.

Sukel’s desire to understand risk-taking is triggered by a whirlwind proposal, which is concisely laid out in her opening chapter. She candidly writes about adventure; her stories about swimming with sharks and climbing mountains are filled with more zest and life than can be found anywhere else in her book. But, Sukel’s descriptions turns melancholy when those days of adventure have been traded in for a mini-van, a residence in suburbia, and the responsibilities of being a newly single mother. As a reader, it was not hard to see why she was yearning to explore what risk means. Enter love! Sukel writes about the scars she carries from her first failed marriage and her hesitancy to enter a second marriage despite meeting a man she believes will suffice as a lifelong partner. Sukel admits they fell in love quickly and after only six weeks of dating, he proposed.

Because she has a child to consider, though, this swift proposal requires some serious reflection. “Do I consider the possibility of marrying again, especially so soon, even though my first trip down the aisle ended in such disaster? And how can I even begin to calculate how marriage, whether it fails or succeeds, may affect my child?” Sukel ponders. Coming full circle, these thoughts propel her forward into writing The Art of Risk.

But first, Sukel wonders, what is risk? Answering this question actually requires an entire chapter. While we could all easily Google the definition of risk, there is a point to Sukel’s madness. A fair look at risk, as Sukel’s later chapters confirm, requires exploring different definitions because risk is everywhere. Risk is defined by probabilities, outcomes, consequences, actions, end results, situations involving danger, and so on. It is both scientific and emotional. It is calculated and intuitive. Our desire to take risks is stimulated in different ways by different variables. It is prompted internally and externally. The verbiage for the economic definition of risk is not the same as the psychological definition. Although Sukel never quite puts forth a structured definition for the book, it is in analyzing what the definition should be leads her to the bulk of her book: What influences why we take risks?

Is it age? Gender? Experience? Emotion? Genes? Community? Turns out, the short answer to all of these things (and a few more) is yes, they do influence you! The heart of The Art of Risk, how and why, truly begins in Part II (of four). While the first section (“Risk and the Brain”) is heavy on medical terms, the succeeding chapters are worth the wait. The structure of almost every chapter is as follows: Introduce a new character, share case studies from experts in various fields, tie them back to character and self (Sukel). While the psychology and science talk is informative, it’s the character stories that pull at the heart strings and make every piece of data relatable.

However, despite each chapter offering exceptional research, I was left wondering three things. First, will there be a study that combines all predispositions that influence your risk-taking ability? For example, am I inherently more risky than an 80-year old man because I am a 30-year old woman? Or is it the other way around when two of those predispositions tend to even one another out?

Second, is there an art to risk taking? Sukel writes early on, “I use the word ‘art’ intentionally. Because the pervasive take away from much of this work is that human beings are pretty bad at making good (or, at least, rational) decisions when faced with risk. We are terrible calculating the actual probabilities of specific outcomes. We hate ambiguities the point where we just pretend it doesn’t exist. We would rather hear a good story than bother with a not-so-good reality.” I can’t help but wonder if she was looking for a good-story-fairy-tale-ending regardless of her research. By the end of the book there was no clear correlation between what she had learned and her big decision to get remarried. (Spoiler alert: She does accept the proposal.)

Finally, can risky behavior become addicting? My previous book review of Habits of a Happy Brain has me speculating that you can…. After all, risky behavior is tied to emotions, and people get into behavioral cycles all the time as a result of this connection. Consider those who are addicted to gambling. Or those who seek “the travel high.” I think back to my early twenties, when I volunteered abroad. During vacation time, I traveled the country alone — a risky decision that resulted in a feeling of personal triumph. Since that time, I frequently long for that same daring feeling.

Ultimately, The Art of Risk will not give you tips on truly becoming a better risk taker, but it will give you answers about why you may or may not be a high-risk, high-reward type of person. If nothing else, it might be worth reading just for that.

The Art Of Risk: The New Science Of Courage, Caution, and Chance
National Geographic Society, March 2016
Hardcover, 288 pages
$26.00

Spring comes a little later here on the Kenai Peninsula. But when it finally arrives, in late May or early June, we are often blessed with sights like these newborn moose twins and their mama. The calves spent the night next to our woodshed and then had a leisurely breakfast. We enjoyed keeping an eye on them from our front-room window as they grew up.

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Practiced in India for thousands of years, Ayurveda takes a holistic and personalized approach, treating the whole person and providing a unique assessment of each individual. The goal of any treatment is to create a harmonious mental and physical balance, synonymous with health and well-being.

In Ayurvedic terminology, everyone has a unique combination of three doshas or energy types: vata (which controls movement), pitta (which controls digestion and metabolism) and kapha (which controls growth and maintenance). Anything such as stress or a poor diet that upsets the balance of the doshas, and a number of subcomponents, can have adverse physical and mental effects. Once the precise type of imbalance has been identified, the practitioner prescribes a tailor-made treatment.

While the nature of such a system challenges scientific evaluation, Western research supports individual components. Mainstays of Ayurveda, including lifestyle practices, yoga, meditation, and certain dietary interventions, have been borrowed and adapted across the world. Studies of specific Ayurvedic herbs are revealing constituents that help explain their therapeutic powers. For example, compounds in ashwagandha and holy basil, known as adaptogens, are thought to balance and revitalize the body.

Similarly, research suggests that various enzymes, hormones, and sugars in aloe vera help burns and other wounds heal faster; while the combination of aloe with two anti-inflammatory herbs—ashwagandha and turmeric—has been shown to naturally treat acne. Studies of another ayurvedic herb, andrographis, suggest that certain bioactive constituents may hold the key to its ability to prevent and curtail the common cold.

Where to Find Ayurvedic Medicine

To find a qualified Ayurvedic practitioner, visit the National Ayurvedic Medical Association or ask your doctor for a referral.

Safety First

Tell the Ayurvedic practitioner if you are pregnant and mention any medical condition you have. Ensure that you inform your doctor of any Ayurvedic herbs you are taking and tell your Ayurvedic practitioner about any prescription medicines you are on.

A Visit to an Ayurvedic Practitioner

At an initial treatment session, your practitioner will ask about your medical history, diet, and lifestyle. He or she will conduct a short physical examination, taking your pulse, looking at your eyes, tongue, and skin and even assessing your voice. Treatment will be designed to restore your personal dosha balance and may include lifestyle and dietary changes, mantras and meditation, as well as cleansing strategies and herbal medicines.

The Role of Food in Ayurvedic Medicine

The diet is a key component of the Ayurvedic healing system and a practitioner will ask you closely about yours. He or she will recommend you eat more or less of certain types of food, herbs, and spices—depending on your dosha—with the aim of bringing your body back into balance. When the body is well nourished and in balance, it is better able to fight off infection and ailments are less likely to arise. Common ingredients in Ayurvedic cooking include holy basil, ginger, fenugreek, garlic, gotu kola, turmeric, and sesame seed oil.

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Steve Haines, in his 32-page comic, Trauma is Really Strange, provides easy-to-understand, useful information regarding how trauma affects the brain. The illustrations, done by Sophie Standing, are simple yet informative. First, Haines points out that people can have a wide variety of reactions during and immediately after a trauma. Some are physiological responses, which include headache, muscle tension, stomachache, increased heart rate, exaggerated startle response, or shakiness. People who have suffered a trauma may also experience psychological responses, such as feeling outside their body or finding it hard to stay connected and focused on the present.

The main focus of the booklet is how people can use three statements for working with and overcoming trauma. The statements are: there is trauma, we can overcome trauma, and healing trauma is about meeting the body. These statements are derived from the work of Dr. David Berceli, the creator of Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE). Dr. Berceli’s exercises help individuals release stress or tension as a result of difficult life circumstances, immediate or prolonged stressful situations, or traumatic life experiences.

In the first part of the booklet (There is Trauma), Haines describes that bad things happen. He describes trauma as being a single event or a period of events that overload our ability to cope, what he says is “being stressed to breaking point.” He further states that tension, stress, and developmental trauma should be seen as interconnected. Developmental trauma is especially important as it deeply affects children, whose growing brains are more vulnerable to trauma, and these early events leave deep imprints often resulting in a child feeling unsafe. How a person responded to early events in his/her life becomes the default in how they respond to future events. For example, if a person learned early to disappear when a stressor occurred, any future stressor will elicit the same response.

For example, if you feel unappreciated by your spouse, it may not actually be your spouse or the situation that is causing your feelings. It may be that the situation is a stimulus that elicits a conditioned response to a root cause, something that happened before; it may be a conditioned response to a traumatic memory.

In the second part of the booklet (We Can Overcome Trauma), Haines describes how we are wired to survive. Our bodies respond to an impending threat, danger, or fear with an initial rush of adrenaline and cortisol. Once these hormones peak, the cycle of activating the central nervous system into hyper arousal mode begins. However, if a person’s body is in a constant state of arousal due to trauma, this impacts the brain’s ability to make good decisions, to react appropriately, and even to think.

The limbic system is the structure of the brain concerned with arousal and emotion. When confronted with danger, the limbic system increases in activation of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that engages in executive functions, and the body mobilizes for flight, fight, or freeze. The limbic system also includes the amygdala, which is deep inside the brain, and the hippocampus, the main area involved with emotions. The cognitive portion of the brain (cerebral hemisphere) is shut down and the ability to process verbal information cannot be activated. When stress overwhelms normal coping mechanisms and the danger response is activated, key survival systems take over and non-essential systems are deactivated. Consequently, higher cognitive processes are non-essential in times of stress or trauma. For children who experience chronic trauma, the ongoing exposure to danger (whether it be real or perceived) takes a toll on the development of higher cognitive skills.

This is why it is so important to learn to understand and deal with trauma. The third half of booklet (Healing Trauma is About Meeting the Body) deals with this aspect. Haines encourages readers to learn to pay attention to their body and learn to self-regulate in order to rewire the brain. In order to accomplish this, a person needs to slowly develop the ability to self-regulate his/her body responses, much like a soda bottle and opening it slowly to relieve the pressure.

It is important to allow body sensations, feelings, and behavior to be slowly integrated so as not to produce arousal in the autonomic nervous system. A person who has experienced trauma demonstrates core deficits in the ability to regulate physiological and emotional expressions. The person may have difficulty understanding what he/she feels, where it comes from, how to cope with it, and how to express it. The person needs to feel safe and experience safety in order not to feel overwhelmed and be re-traumatized. Thus, by using the body and body sensations to regain a sense of safety and empowerment, the person will regain the ability to regulate arousal responses and access their cerebral functions to reorder and reintegrate their trauma experiences into an explicit and meaningful framework.

Trauma Is Really Strange
Singing Dragon, December 2015
Paperback, 32 pages
$12.95

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1. The Patriot

In 1776 South Carolina, Benjamin Martin, a French-Indian war veteran haunted by his past, wants to stay out of the American Revolution and live a quiet life on his farm. But when the British Colonel Tavington kills one of his sons, he enlists and becomes the leader of a makeshift militia. During the war, Martin and his men discover that they will pay a steep price for their rebellion, but play a pivotal role in turning the tide against the Redcoats. Watch the trailer: The Patriot

2. Born on the Fourth of July

This 1989 American film, based on the best-selling autobiography of Vietnam War veteran Ron Kovic, tells the story of a patriotic, small-town athlete who enlists with the marines to fight in Vietnam. But after he ends up paralyzed and feeling betrayed by his country, he transforms into an anti-war and pro-human rights political activist. This film was nominated for eight Academy Awards and won Best Director and Best Film Editing. Plus, it stars Tom Cruise! How could you go wrong? Watch the trailer: Born on the Fourth of July

3. The Devil’s Disciple

Based on the 1897 play by George Bernard Shaw, this film features Dick Dudgeon, a New England revolutionary mistakenly arrested by the British in place of a local reverend. Dudgeon nobly conceals his true identity, as he cannot bring himself to cause another human to suffer. The reverend’s wife, Judith, is moved by Dick’s actions and mistakenly interprets them as an expression of love. In spite of his protestations she finds herself drawn to him. When taken before British commander General Burgoyne, Dudgeon is willing to die for his principles. But at the last minute, he is saved to become a revolutionary leader. The film also features brilliant performances by Laurence Olivier, Burt Lancaster, and Kirk Douglas.

4. John Adams

Paul Giamatti gives an breathtaking performance as John Adams in this TV miniseries, which covers Adam’s life from 1770, when he risked his career by defending the British soldiers accused of murder in the Boston “Massacre,” to his death, along with Thomas Jefferson, on July 4, 1826. In chronicling Adams’ political life, it also tells the story of the first fifty years of the United States. The series has won more Emmy awards than any other miniseries. This is how history should be dramatized. Watch the trailer: John Adams

5. Drums Along the Mohawk

Based on the 1936 novel of the same name by Walter D. Edmonds, this film portrays the life of a couple of settlers on the New York frontier during the American Revolution. They endure British, Tory, and Indian attacks on their farm in Mohawk Valley before the Revolution ends and peace is restored. The film was nominated for two Academy Awards and became a major box office success, grossing over US$1 million in its first year. Starring Henry Fonda and Claudette Colbert. Watch the trailer: Drums Along the Mohawk

6. Johnny Tremain

This film focuses on the events leading up to the Revolutionary War. It follows the adventures of a Johnny Tremain, a young silversmith who turns to journalism after a crippling injury. He gets involved in pre-Revolutionary Boston politics, becoming a passionate Whig, and falls in love with a woman named Cilia. The film climaxes with the battles of Lexington and Concord, ending on an optimistic note.

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7. The Crossing

This retelling of Washington’s crossing of the Delaware on Christmas 1776 and the Battle of Trenton is nothing short of brilliant. Desperately low on men, cannons and supplies, Washington risks everything on one last daring attack on the town of Trenton, where more than 1,000 of the feared Hessian mercenaries are garrisoned. But to do that, the army must cross the Delaware to a seemingly hopeless battle that would turn out to be more successful than Washington had ever hoped.

8. John Paul Jones

This film follows the career of a Revolutionary War naval hero from his youth in Scotland through his service to Catherine the Great of Russia. Robert Stack is phenomenal in the role of the archetypal American sea hero, while Bette Davis is unforgettable as Catherine the Great. The climactic sea battle with the Serapis is especially well done.

9. 1776

This irresistible film movingly shows how the Declaration of Independence was very much a step into the unknown. After all, the signers could have ended their lives executed as traitors, their cause lost. But they set aside their fears, marshaled their hopes, and gave all Americans a new nation.  This film is a wonderful tribute to those extraordinary men who well deserve the title of Founding Fathers. It’s also packed with terrific music and an outstanding performance by William Daniels (a.k.a. Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World) as John Adams.

Sources: rottentomatoes.com, imdb.com, unrealitymag.com, associatedcontent.com, Wikipedia, Examiner.com

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Money is always lurking in your mind, right? We have so many emotions around money, and there are so many ways money affects us. We worry about not having enough, how we spend it, and how much we need to save. We experience occasional guilt over purchases. We may use money as a way to feel good, or to atone for some fault, or to reward ourselves for some achievement. Loaded: Money, Psychology, and How to Get Ahead without Leaving Your Values explores our complex relationship with money and helps to unravel some of the twisted thoughts we have so money can more comfortably fit into our lives.

Loaded is a great book. It is part education, part story-telling, and part workbook. The author, Sarah Newcomb, PhD, tells us in her introduction about her upbringing and her studies in math, financial planning, and psychology. I have not thought much about how I came to think about money the way I do, and I expect that is true of many readers. But our parents or grandparents instilled certain attitudes in us that we may still exhibit today, for better or worse. Newcomb tells us that our relationship with money is a “social and cultural phenomenon,” and after reading her book, I must acknowledge that it is.

In the chapter titled “Money Messages,” Newcomb helps us to evaluate how we came to think about money the way we do. Some of our thinking may be clear to us, but there are also aspects we may give little thought to. She challenges us on our values about money. She makes us question our core beliefs and we are forced to think about where our attitudes or values came from.

Just think about some of the phrases we have heard (and used) over the years: “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, “You must think I am made of money”, and “A penny saved is a penny earned.” Did your parents say these to you? Another phrase, “Money is the root of all evil”, is very common, although those who earn even a moderate income may disagree with the thought. And even though the true Biblical quotation is, “For the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10), we may still feel some guilt because we admit that we do love money (or at least like it a lot, or prefer it over its opposite, hating money).

In the great section, “Poverty, Privilege and Prejudice”, Newcomb discusses the social and psychological aspects of each. Poverty, of course, has many well-documented societal impacts, but the psychological aspects are also significant and affect our well-being. There is a story about a child who was so ashamed about his parents’ lack of money that he isolated himself from friendships in school and didn’t invite friends to his home. Although this could also be caused by other factors connected to not being proud of our parents or family, this is not an uncommon experience, and think of the lasting and widespread damage to people over time.

And many of us have opinions about privilege regardless of which side of society we are on. Humans have long divided their communities into haves and have nots. But even people who move from one side to the other, through education, hard work, or other reasons, often have difficulty becoming comfortable with their new persona.

You may be wondering where the title, Loaded, comes from. Aside from how “loaded” some of our money issues may be, Newcomb has devoted the final lengthy chapter to “The Loaded Budget,” in which she helps us to create a new type of budget. Forget the typical income and expense budgets, which track cash flow and make all expenditures seem bad. Newcomb has a different and valuable approach for budgeting. She discusses what makes an asset for us, including some possible surprises. She describes good debt vs. bad debt, but her concept of what constitutes a “need” is remarkable. We may think of a need as housing or a utility bill. She takes us into the psychology of how and why we spend and what we get from it.

Throughout the book, readers are directed to the workbook section, which includes self-assessments so we can personalize our situation using Newcomb’s questions. Numerous exercises follow those. Personally, I didn’t always like to do these worksheets, but it was helpful to put my thoughts into words.

I enjoyed this book and recommend it to others who are intrigued by money and its hold on us. You may be surprised, but also enlightened, by what you read.

Loaded: Money, Psychology, and How to Get Ahead without Leaving Your Values Behind
John Wiley & Sons, Inc., April 2016
Hardcover, 208 pages
$27.95

In Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, psychologist Lisa Damour charts a course for parents through the turbulent seas of girls’ adolescence. Anyone who has, knows, or has been a teenage girl will recognize the girls Damour describes.

Damour presents the seven transitions teenage girls go through with a chapter dedicated to each: Parting with Childhood, Joining a New Tribe; Harnessing Emotions; Contending with Adult Authority; Planning for the Future; Entering the Romantic World; and Caring for Herself. Using research and anecdotes from her experience counseling girls and their parents, Damour provides concrete suggestions, including specific language, to help parents (or any adult) address the challenges of these transitions.

In discussing the painful push-pull girls put their parents through — one minute rolling their eyes and showing them the hand, the next reverting to the loving little girl parents yearn for — Damour uses a metaphor she admits is tortured and yet, she says, has been cited as helpful by many parents. She says, “Consider the metaphor in which your teenage daughter is a swimmer, you are the pool in which she swims, and the water is the broader world. Like any good swimmer, your daughter wants to be out playing, diving, or splashing around in the water. And, like any swimmer, she holds on to the edge of the pool to catch her breath after a rough lap or getting dunked too many times.”

Damour helps parents understand the best ways to provide guidance to teen girls, and the ways that will only get them the eye roll or the “veil of obedience,” when girls nod compliantly while internally checking out. She also points out that “Girls can listen and roll their eyes at the same time” and so parents will sometimes have to just talk through the eye roll (succinctly and nonjudgmentally).

Damour cautions parents to stay out of conflicts where their daughters hold all the power, such as schoolwork and food; adults can offer guidance here but cannot force a teen’s hand. She urges parents to consider whether they closely monitor their daughter’s online interactions because they think there is real risk she will do something dangerous or just because they can. She writes that the digital trail today’s teens leave means “we have a useful record of interactions that go poorly, but it also can mean we have too much access to what should be private communications among teenagers.”

She discusses not only ways to work through conflict with teenage daughters, but also the benefits of well-managed conflict to girls’ developing emotional intelligence. She addresses body image; bullying (from the perspectives of the daughter as the bullied and the bully); sexting and other forms of sexual expression; and risk-taking, from drinking to sex. Each chapter concludes with a section titled “When to worry,” and gives signs that girls might be showing more than the usual level of adolescent distress.

Untangled is highly readable and striking in its level of compassion and respect for both parents and girls. It should be helpful to parents struggling to guide their daughters through a difficult developmental stage even as they come to terms with letting go and allowing their almost-woman to find her own way to adulthood.

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
New Haringer Publications, February 2016
Hardcover, 352 pages
$27.00

For those struggling with Asperger’s, there are arguably few inspiring memoirs. Joe Biel’s new self-published book, Good Trouble: Building A Successful Life & Business With Asperger’s, promises an uplifting tale — and a way to turn your difficulties into superpowers — but it reads more like a laborious history of Biel’s publishing company, Microcosm.

Biel begins by describing his childhood as the son of second-generation immigrants who settled on the East side of Pittsburg, Pennsylvania during a time of rampant social and racial tension. Yet, while Biel writes, “The troubles started even before I born,” he later tells us that he “hardly knows anything about (his) parents.”

Without clarity about Biel’s early life, he then details his entrance into punk rock, shoplifting, avoiding people, and creating zines, which he never defines. When I researched the definition of a zine, I found the following:”A zine is most commonly a small-circulation, self-published work of original or appropriated texts and images usually reproduced via photocopier. A popular definition includes that circulation must be 1,000 or fewer, although in practice, the majority are produced in editions of fewer than 100, and profit is not the primary intent of publication. They are informed by anarchopunk and DIY ethos.”

Biel, however, does seem to recognize something of himself in zines. He writes, “Each zine offered what was uniquely missing in my immediate environment. A production that was proudly amateur, usually handmade, and always independent, espousing views that my middle finger alone couldn’t encapsulate and yet were rarely boring.” Again, although the world of zines seems fascinating, Biel fails to help us make the connection as to just what zines represent, or what those rarely boring views are.

Instead, Biel takes us on a history of developing his zine company, Microcosm Publishing, while struggling with Asperger’s, what appears to be severe drinking, and a less than palpable case of depression and loneliness. What we are left to wonder is not just how a zine publishing company works — Biel leaves out the details of how money is made — but who Joe Biel really is.

When Biel meets his future wife, Heather, we do begin to experience some of the relational difficulties those with Asperger’s often struggle with. When describing Heather, Biel writes, “She would insult me in front of them (my family) while also arguing with my friends. But she was also supportive of me in ways that my friends were not.” Later, Biel tells us that Heather breaks up with him, so he starts a new relationship with a co-worker and then writes a zine detailing his relationship with her. Biel’s continued hope that he and Heather will “rekindle (their) relationship” does help us understand possibly how frequently disconnected those with Asperger’s may feel, although Biel never makes this connection.

Disconnection arises again when Biel describes the success of his company. Biel says the success “was so extreme,” he begins to “feel guilty and even bad about it,” but then tells us that, “coming to work each day was always unique and exciting.” We are left to wonder how Biel really feels, and how much of his story is attributable to Asperger’s, because he quickly shifts back into an insentient history of Microcosm.

Later, when Biel is accused of sexual impropriety and seeks the help of a therapist, he seems to come to terms with some difficult lessons. “Boundaries,” he writes, “cannot protect you from everything.” And yet here again, as Biel details signing on with Independent Publishers Group and distributing his books to a larger audience, it is unclear just how Biel dealt with a seemingly false accusation while managing a large public company or while coping with Asperger’s.

Finally, upon bringing Microcosm to a healthy place and developing what appears to be a healthy relationship with a woman named Elly, Biel offers a revelation: “No amount of cognitive retraining can make me neurotypical. I still make mistakes and do or say things that come across as callous, but now I can avoid having a meltdown 95% of the time when someone questions my habits.”

While Good Trouble does explore Biel’s life, the dogged determination of a DIY self-publishing company, and the punk culture of zines, we are left to find our own insights and lessons about how to cope with the difficulties of living and working with Asperger’s.

Good Trouble: Building A Successful Life & Business With Asperger’s
Microcosm Publishing, March 2016
Paperback, 221 Pages
$14.95

Some books are not just books, they are events. Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation is among them. As I began writing this review, the book had been out for less than a week, and already it had been reviewed in the New York Times and many other major newspapers and magazines. Excerpts have already been published, and dozens of writers who were inspired by the book have written articles on the topic.

The attention is warranted. All the Single Ladies is a carefully researched and compellingly argued case for the significance of single women not just in 21^st century America but in centuries past. Traister calls them “free women” and she is referring not just to those women who live single for life, but to women who live single for important parts of their lives. We know there are enough of such women today that the age at which women first marry (among those who do marry) has climbed to 27, but the single-woman demographic has been significant at other times, too.

When substantial numbers of women live outside the constraints of marriage, they do great things. Many of the most significant progressive victories in the US were powered in no small part by the efforts of single women. They include, for example, the abolition of slavery, the achievement of women’s right to vote, the invention of birth control, the founding of women’s colleges and colleges for African Americans, the beginnings of the labor movement, and victories for civil rights, LGBT rights, and women’s rights.

All the Single Ladies is even more than what it promises in the subtitle, which is to make the case for the role of unmarried women in “the rise of an independent nation.” Drawing from more than 100 interviews with single women, including a few famous ones such as Gloria Steinem and Anita Hill, as well as from her own life story, Traister has a lot to say about what it is like to live single in America. So, the book is also a journalistic account of single life. It is all of these other things, too:

• It is a manifesto on the value of single life.
• It is a rewriting of the story of single women and single mothers, from weak victims flailing around in a state of chaos to strong agents creating their own meaningful and rational life paths.
• It is a thoughtful, fact-based, compelling answer to all the pundits, political leaders, political wannabes and all the other shamers who insist that marriage is the answer to poverty and so many other social problems.
• It is that rare single-women narrative that acknowledges something significant: when it comes to important trends and accomplishments, often it was poor women, working class women, and women of color who got there first.
• It is a decimation of the popular right-wing formula for success (graduate from high school, get married, have kids, and stay married).
• It is a reclaiming of the value of the many pursuits that can make single life so meaningful, such as work, friendship, and solitude.
• It is a powerful pinprick, bursting the bubbles of all sorts of moral panics (OMG, college kids these days are hooking up! OMG, single women are prioritizing their education and their careers! OMG, women are having babies without having husbands! OMG, women are not having babies, and that spells the end of America! OMG, women are not having babies soon enough, and their eggs are going to dry up!).
• It is a fresh, feminist take on so many kerfuffles, media obsessions, and significant historical moments, from Anita Hill’s testimony about Clarence Thomas to the case of the Central Park jogger to Rush Limbaugh’s calling Sandra Fluke a slut.
• It is a rewriting of history that brings single women out from the margins and into their rightful place at the center of social progress.

I have a special interest in All the Single Ladies because I have been thinking, researching, teaching, and writing about single life for nearly two decades. In fact, my first book, Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, was first published in 2006.

In Traister’s robustly positive take on single life and her perspective on marriage that avoids being matrimaniacal, All the Single Ladies fits very nicely in the tradition of Singled Out and other books before it, such as Kay Trimberger’s The New Single Woman and Jaclyn Geller’s Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique. However, I wish Traister had acknowledged more clearly her intellectual predecessors.

I have a few other reservations as well. For example, in a chapter on friendship, Traister writes one of the most beautiful odes to female friendship I have ever read, insisting that it is not some sorry substitute for romantic relationships but the real thing. Maybe even better than romantic relationships. But then she admits that after she got married, she demoted her friends. She didn’t have the same time for them anymore.

The chapter on work was another example. In Singled Out, I mocked the scare stories lobbed at single women telling them that their work won’t love them back. Traister does, too, and notes that actually, if you are lucky enough to have the right kind of work, your work will love you back. But then she adds this:

“The fact is, being married to your job for some portion or all of your life, even if it does in some way inhibit romantic prospects, is not necessarily a terrible fate, provided you are lucky enough to enjoy your work, or the money you earn at it, or the respect it garners you, or the people you do it with.”

Not necessarily a terrible fate? I think that may well be the faintest praise imaginable.

My reservations, though, are small stuff relative to my overwhelmingly enthusiastic appraisal of All the Single Ladies. This is one of those rare books that have the potential to make a real difference. It could wake up some political leaders to a powerful, but mostly overlooked, constituency. It could change the media narratives, from fluffy trend pieces and regressive pity-the-poor-single-person embarrassments, to much more serious stuff. And maybe it will create momentum toward accomplishing some of the goals Traister outlines in the Appendix. One of my favorites is this:

“We need to support alternative family structures, including cohabiting friends, people who live on their own and in clusters, people who parent with partners and without.”

In the course of research for my own How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, I have found that fewer than 20 percent of American households are nuclear family households. It is time to take seriously all of the many ways that single women – and single men, and everyone else – actually live. All the Single Ladies is a superb contribution to what I hope will be a new social movement.

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
Simon & Schuster, March 2016
Hardcover, 352 pages
$27.00