Lisa Find Love

Another artistic vision of the cosmos, this time in the form of a trading card illustration of Mercury's surface...

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2gmccee

Obviously, when you’re looking for a great job, salary and healthcare benefits come first. A survey conducted by the employee review platform Glassdoor found that the top-rated benefit among employees was health insurance, with 40 percent of those surveyed rating it their number-one priority. The second most desirable benefit was paid vacations, earning 37 percent of people’s vote for most important perk. But there’s more to a dream career than salary, health insurance, and time off. In fact, there’s one employee perk that more and more people are looking for these days, one that could have a positive impact on your health and well being.

It’s telecommuting, even part-time. A recent study led by Rachel Henke, PhD, of Truven Health Analytics, found that having the option of working remotely, even for just a few hours a month, could lower your risk of depression.

The new study, published online in the American Journal of Health Promotion, aimed to investigate the influence of telecommuting on employee health. It involved detailed analysis of employee demographic data, medical claims, health risk assessment data, and remote connectivity hours of employees aged 18 to 64. The researchers evaluated people who telecommuted up to eight hours per month, along with those who had significantly more telecommuting hours—some over 73 hours per month, as well as those who did not telecommute at all.

The people who didn’t telecommute were actually found to be at greater risk of obesity, physical inactivity, and alcohol abuse, and tobacco use than the groups who were able to telecommute even part time.

Perhaps the most significant finding of this study is the fact that people who telecommuted just eight hours per month were less likely to experience depression than those who didn’t telecommute at all. This suggests that working remotely for just few hours each month can have a significant impact on maintaining good mental health and well-being, possibly because it gives employees a feeling of control and flexibility, and allows them to spend more time in a less-stressful environment.

Henke’s results are important because, while there have been studies that highlight a relationship between telecommuting and increased employee performance, this is the first to show a link between telecommuting and better employee health.

Next time you’re on the job hunt, consider telecommuting a top priority—even if it’s just one day a month. And if you’re stuck in a nine-to-five office gig, use these strategies to de-stess your work day.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gm22KQ

“May I speak with Jeanne Kerr?” I said, crossing my fingers.

“Who’s asking?” the voice cracked.

“It’s Regina Louise. I think we may’ve met a—”

“I don’t believe so,” she said. The line went dead.

I crossed out another Jeanne on my long list. The last time I’d seen the Jeanne I was looking for was in 1977, when I was 15. That day, I’d stood in a juvenile courtroom prepared to speak about what it would mean to me for Jeanne Kerr, my beloved counselor from the Edgar Children’s Shelter in Martinez, California, to adopt me.

I’d met Jeanne when I’d arrived at the shelter on May 1, 1975—a day before I turned 13. I was confused by her excitement regarding my pending birthday. Then came balloons, cake, and strangers singing to me as if I were a big deal. In no time, it felt good to be where Jeanne was. I’d grown up without a lick of kin, so I had taken my cues from Donna Reed and June Cleaver. I loved how they treated children, their soft-spoken ways. I prayed to meet someone like them who could see I was worth the trouble I was born into.

In court, my social worker presented evidence of my “escalating” behaviors: running away, telling lies, sabotaging foster care placements so I could return to the shelter, to Jeanne. “It’s unnatural, Your Honor, how much she loves this woman,” she said.

The judge agreed, and Jeanne’s petition to adopt was denied. I believe my social worker objected because Jeanne was white and I was black. The National Association of Black Social Workers had issued a statement against transracial adoption, seeing it as an attack on black families. I was put in a residential treatment center for severely emotionally disturbed girls. From there, I’d go through 30 placements before landing in a group home in San Francisco. I stayed there until the age of emancipation, after which I flailed through life. Then I became a mother, and everything changed. Now I had someone else to love and to think about.

By 2002, I co-owned and operated two hair salons, and my teenage son was a thriving scholar-athlete. I decided to write a book about my life from ages 13 to 15, a journey that included meeting Jeanne and losing her.

“Your memoir claims abuse and neglect, so you need someone to verify what you’ve written,” my editor said. I had two weeks to locate that person.

My writing coach suggested I find Jeanne. I couldn’t bear to tell her that I’d spent years ordering phone books from Nova Scotia to Hawaii, the number of times I’d been hung up on, the dead ends I’d followed. But now I could scour the Internet, and I began searching on countless sites. Marriage license? Nothing. Certificate of birth of child? Nothing. Death certificate? Hesitantly, I punched in her name. That, too, came back with nothing.

Had I made Jeanne up? But there was the blue corduroy dress she’d hand-sewn for me, with rainbows in my favorite colors. I’d lost it many years ago. There was the way she called me “sweetheart” or “punkin,” the way she smelled of Cream of Wheat, warmed milk, vanilla, and brown sugar.

Content continues below ad

Then I remembered that, as a child, I had been warned that everything I said and did was put in a file so anyone who wanted to could learn what an awful person I was. I called the county and asked for my file. When the package arrived, I nuzzled it to my bosom like it was a newborn. Inside was a stack of papers filled with legal jargon, incident reports, and letters from one institutional director to another about my need to be “terminated.” But there was no road map to Jeanne.

With two days left to corroborate my story, I asked Jules, a friend and correspondent at a magazine that had access to research databases, for help. My deadline passed before she finished her search, so I changed the names of my characters. “Jeanne Kerr” became “Claire Kennedy.”

Jules sent me the search results a week later: She had an address! I wrote Jeanne a letter and sealed it with a kiss in red lipstick. The day before I left on my book tour, I received an envelope in the mail—it was my letter, stamped with the words Addressee Unknown.

In Los Angeles, I was interviewed by radio talk show host Tavis Smiley. He asked: “You have it all: You’re a spokesperson for foster care, have a thriving salon business, a well-adjusted child. What more would you like?”

I replied without hesitating. “Someone to say they are proud of me.”

Afterward, back in my hotel room, I checked my e-mail and saw a message with the subject line: “I am so proud of you, sweetheart!”

My heart stopped. I opened the e-mail, and it was from Jeanne. My breath caught in my throat. Was someone playing a joke on me? Only later I’d learn that a former coworker of hers had read an article about my book in which the reporter revealed the real name of Claire Kennedy, and the ex-colleague told Jeanne, “Your Regina is looking for you.”

In her e-mail, Jeanne wrote, “Please reach out to me once your tour is done. I don’t want to be a bother.” I couldn’t wait—I immediately dialed the number she had given.

“Hello?” The voice at the other end sounded hushed, just as I remembered Jeanne’s timbre; she had a particular way of saying “hello” that softened me from the inside out.

“I can’t believe it’s you,” I said through my absolute bewilderment. “I never stopped thinking of you.”

“You were my first child,” she told me. “I never stopped loving you.” Her words reverberated, and all I could do was listen. “They said I was the wrong color and that I wasn’t allowed to love you.” Jeanne continued. “I have something I want to give you. It is your birthright.”

I held my breath.

“I want to make you my daughter.”

From the moment I had lost Jeanne, I had known she was the mother I was meant to have in this life. I went on to live as if she’d never left, as if she were there to guide my actions. I believed that one day I’d have the chance to tell her “thank you.” On the phone with her, I knew my deepest wish was on the verge of coming true.

Content continues below ad

Three weeks later, I sat for six hours at LaGuardia Airport in New York City, waiting out a storm that had delayed Jeanne’s plane. I paced and smoothed my skirt. Finally, a woman rushed toward me, her long gray-white ponytail swinging from beneath a baseball cap. She wore an oversize sweater splattered with gigantic multicolored peonies, green polka-dot capri pants, and kitty-cat ankle socks paired with a well-worn pair of running shoes. I looked at her, head tilted like a curious puppy. I would not have worn those pieces together if God himself had ordered me to, and I flushed with mortification. It was then that I knew I was not only a daughter but her daughter. I earned a full adolescenthood of stripes in that one moment. It had been nearly three decades since I had felt her fingertips lift my chin through the weight of my grief of having to leave her, the only person who’d ever told me “I love you.”

“Hi … Mommy,” I said. I felt electrified saying the word for the first time. My entire life I had guarded it, my body a safe-deposit box, holding it until I could give it its rightful place.

In November 2003, I stood in the same juvenile courtroom in California where Jeanne’s adoption request had been denied in 1977. I was 41, and I was with my son; Jeanne, her husband, and her son; and my partner, Stevie Anne, and her family. After the judge swore me and Jeanne to honor and love each other as mother and daughter for the rest of our lives, I turned to Jeanne, cupped my hand around her ear, and whispered, “Thank you—Mommy—for loving me when no one else could.”

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gWjuXj

Over the years, we've talked about several figures and events related to the U.S. Civil Rights Movement in a positive way. Today we look at the other side with a staunch supporter of segregation: Alabama Governor George Wallace.

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2gLlayR

Nothing can put a dent faster in your holiday spirit than spending hours on long lines in the store or scanning websites trying to find the perfect gift; only to later present it to the recipient and have them look mildly engaged. But what if there were an art to picking out a gift that had more to do with the person’s soul instead of a hefty price tag? Consider these strategies.

1. Listen up

While you may think it is a great idea to surprise someone on your holiday list by giving them something you think is a meaningful gift, it is best just to get them exactly what they have told you. For instance weeks before the holidays you had heard them say they wanted the new Fitbit because they wanted to get in shape. To you that seemed a boring and predictable so instead you bought them a gym membership. Well that was the wrong move, says a study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. The researchers found that that gift recipients are more appreciative of gifts they ask for than those they do not. So forget about what you think they want and get them what they have specifically asked for.

2. Size doesn’t matter

Still the hardest part of this process is trying to show what you feel through your gift selection because as we know actions speak louder than words. In the spirit of showing love we might go big instead of thinking of what really makes the person happy. You might think buying your hubby the new curved smart TV is perfect, but then when you get it home it lights up the living room like a stadium and is totally wrong for the space. Instead, think smart and practical. For example, if he’s a movie buff, get him a year’s subscription to Netflix and a selection of popcorn toppings as a stocking stuffer.

3. Keep it open

Many of us may consider giving cash or gift cards impersonal, but this may save you some angst by allowing the receiver to chose what they want, especially when it comes to picky tweens and teens. In a recent poll of over 7,000 Black Friday shoppers, 39 percent said the recipient they were shopping for was “picky.” So save yourself the second guess and give a gift card to a favorite store.

4. Create an experience

When all else fails create a memorable moment, like with these creative non-toy gifts. Log on to websites such as Groupon or LivingSocial where you can nab the latest tickets for a play, purchase a surf lesson package, or even something unexpected like a flight lesson. These are things that can be experienced together as well as create a lasting memory. For example if your guy is into NASCAR just imagine the look on his face when you score him a ride at race car driving school. That is something that wont end up at the bottom of his sock drawer.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fMiShP

A flexible spending account (FSA) is an employer-sponsored account that will allow users to put away money for medical expenses (up to $2,600 of pre-tax dollars in 2017). These dollars are specifically designated for health expenses that can fall outside of your typical health insurance coverage. While you must use the majority of those funds by the end of the year, you can carryover $500 of unused FSA bucks into the next year but will forfeit any excess at the end of the year. (In some cases you are able to file an extension to get an additional two months.) Also, remember to keep your receipts in order to be able to be reimbursed.

Here are some of the qualified medical expenses your FSA may cover:

• Over-the-counter products: While you cannot spend your FSA on over-the-counter meds without a prescription you can use it for items such as bandages, athletic braces, breast pumps, crutches, canes, first aid kits, flu shots, and reading glasses. Sadly, vitamins are only covered if they are prescription.
• Pain management: If you are considering alternative treatments for dealing with pain and relaxation, FSA covers acupuncture and chiropractic care. Some plans may also pay for massages.
• Family planning: Though your preferred birth control may not be covered many are, plus FSA also pays for condoms, fertility monitors, and fertility treatments.
• Vision care: You can use your FSA money to cover the cost of your glasses, contact lens, contact lens solution, laser surgery, and LASIK.
• Dental visits: Now might be the time to pop in to your dentist and have a cleaning because your deductible is covered as well as implants and sealants.
• Co-pays: FSA covers co-pay on prescription medications and doctor, dental, and vision visits.
• Medical devices: Blood pressure monitors, ovulation, pregnancy, and glucose kits make the grade as well so now might be the time to buy them.

Here are some of the medical expenses not currently covered with FSA:

• Your cost to have health insurance coverage.
• Long term care coverage and expenses.
• Anything that is covered by a secondary health care plan.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2glrAaL

When I was preparing a talk about suicide prevention for a local church, there were moments when I become emotional just thinking about the subject matter. I felt confident when I started the presentation for a fantastic group of lay counselors, but did not plan for the water works to begin five minutes into the talk.  

It wasn’t just the heavy topic matter, it was looking at a room of people and realizing they took time from their busy schedules to learn more about what they can do to prevent suicide. I was overwhelmed by their compassion. Suicide prevention needs to be discussed everywhere and it’s a must-have discussion for our churches.

Church is a place for broken people, not perfect people, and should be the safest place for people struggling with thoughts of suicide. Unfortunately, some of the messages that have come from churches make the assumption that mental illness — depression especially — can be fixed if people would “pray more,” or “have more faith.” When this is the message congregants hear, of course they’re not going to seek mental health treatment. And they are certainly not going to consider medication regardless of how depressed they may feel.

During my talk, I referenced scriptures these lay counselors may want to use when they encourage people since this was a Christian ministry. However, I said that offering comfort to the hurting person needs to come first from the helper before the hurting person hears scripture. Although this may rub some people the wrong way, we can easily hide behind scripture. Now, I’m a big believer in the Bible and what it teaches us about life. But assurance needs to come first from the person sitting across the table.  

Before prayer or scriptures of comfort are offered, the hurting person needs to hear, “I’m with you”, “I’m sorry you feel so bad that suicide seems like the answer”, “I want you to live — let’s work through this together.” To hear these words from a fellow church member that their thoughts of suicide feelings won’t push people away — that their suicidal ideations do not make them a leper — is an incredible first step. Someone recognized their suicidal feelings are as big and real as cancer. Luke 10:33-34 says “But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.” Our wounds are not only physical. They are also emotional and need equal care.

What I would love is to hear is that other churches in our communities want to learn how they can help in this fight for prevention. Their church members may have suicidal thoughts too, even the person who is there every Sunday, or who serves in children’s ministry, or who passes the offering plate. They’re human and not exempt from the chemical imbalances that happen in the brain.  

There’s a burden on my heart to reach more churches about this topic. I’m not going to beat anyone over the head with a Bible, but I will use scripture as a reason for those in ministry to get trained on this issue. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) As a Christian, I absolutely believe there is a place for the Bible in helping other people.  Unfortunately too many people end up in my office when they reach out about their mental health issues — or suicidal thoughts in their church homes – and they’ve been made to feel they are struggling because they are not living the Christian life. And in some cases, that’s true. If we continually get fired from jobs because we have a habit of stealing from our employers, we may feel depressed because it brings financial problem, but clearly we brought that on ourselves! Most of the time, the cause is not that clear.

I believe that healing is possible and that suicide is preventable. But we can’t prevent what we don’t talk about. I also believe in the power of prayer — and medicine — to get people through these challenges. They are not mutually exclusive. There is a place for both of them. Suicide prevention is a big deal but unfortunately not enough people are discussing it. What if you knew you could save just one life? Would that be enough to address suicide prevention in your church? I believe we can reach the point where suicide is not our modern day leprosy.

from Psych Central http://ift.tt/2fEnX0F

According to a report released by Adobe, last Thanksgiving and Black Friday saw a spike in online spending, with consumers racking up $4.45 billion in sales without entering a brick and mortar store. Sadly, unless they were vigilant, they may have put themselves at risk for acquiring malware. Not to be confused with spyware or adware, malware is malicious software that is designed to damage or access a computer without the owner being aware. That means hackers could peruse your personal photos and steal data such as your home address, bank codes, credit card numbers, and Social Security number; possibly even your entire identity. Or they could install a virus that systematically erases your entire hard drive. The scariest thing: You’re at risk every time you click to complete a purchase.

As we once again ramp up for holiday shopping—the National Retail Federation estimates that online sales this holiday season will increase up to 10 percent over last year’s spending, malware creators are also ramping up. Malware infections jumped 84 percent during the 2015 holiday shopping season, which was double that of 2014, and even that year saw a 42 percent spike over the previous year, according to Enigma Software, creator of PC security software and malware fixes. “The holiday shopping season is one of the busiest times of year for the cyber crooks who spread malware,” ESG spokesperson Ryan Gerding has said. “They know lots of people will be online looking for deals and tracking their purchases, and that makes those people vulnerable.”

Protect your devices by keeping an eye out for these warning signs:

Spam emails and links: Though an email message might seem to offer an unbelievable deal, it’s best to go to a trusted website, like Nordstrom.com, directly. Whatever you do, do not click on any links these messages because they could trigger the download of malware when opened. The same goes for messages warning about possible problems with your accounts. Instead of clicking any links, always go directly to your bank’s website, Paypal, eBay, or whatever account they’re flagging, to check for any issues.

Social media: Be wary of ads for amazing discounts, giveaways, alluring photographs, or sensational stories that are posted on sites such as Facebook and Twitter. If you receive a private message with such a link, just delete it.

Fake apps: Cyber scammers are cloning apps to resemble authentic ones from reputable retail stores, such as Coach, Moncler, and Salvatore Farragamo, reports the New York Post. Use these tips to avoid accidentally buying from an unverified app.

Phony search results: Just because a result comes up on a legitimate Google search doesn’t mean the website is legitimate. Be vigilant about clicking on unfamiliar sites—especially if you see misspellings or awkward language errors. And never agree to install software in order to continue shopping, because more than likely it has malware embedded in it.

Secure your computer: Install reliable anti-spyware and anti-malware software such as SpyHunter or Avast (go directly to those websites—never install from a link in an email). They’re pretty easy to set up and could save you from major heartaches and headaches in the long term. Also, make sure to scan your computer with them often and install all updates as instructed.

Here are 20 secrets cyber scammers don’t want you to know about how they steal your money and identity.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gKNLEs

Without professional hairdressing education, it is incredibly difficult to articulate different kinds of haircut styles for women. There is a world of...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gIYYX9

Candy-filled calendars in Germany

The only thing better than a countdown to Christmas is a chocolate-filled one. In Germany, children receive calendars (often made of cardboard) filled with 24 squares decorated with festive drawings. Starting on December 1, they peel one open each day and gobble up the piece of chocolate hiding behind the flap. Buy one online or try making your own version.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fR5xrT

Winter on the moon

The uniquely shaped lava fields at Craters of the Moon National Monument and Preserve in Idaho gave the park its name, but they turn into a winter wonderland when the snow falls. (Check out these spectacular photos of America’s national parks.)

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gJPeKW

Good Samaritan laws are intended to protect you from a lawsuit if you help strangers during an emergency. Learn more at HowStuffWorks.

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2fQQApJ

As we get older, our skin cells lose their capacity to self-renew and replace cells that have died. Fortunately, Biopelle has developed new stem cell...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gkc5Qn

The only products you'll need for a quick office touch-up.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fCLXRO

They leave their cell phones out of the bedroom

When you’re asleep, your brain is working hard to organize your memories and thoughts, but your body feels totally relaxed. As you’re waking up, that combination makes it among your most creative points in the day—perfect for coming up with new solutions or having entertaining thoughts. But adding a cell phone into that equation gets in the way of that creative flow. “There is nothing on the internet that cannot wait for 20 minutes while you do some mindful breathing and think grateful thoughts,” writes Bennett in Start Right Where You Are. Use an alarm clock (yes, an actual clock!) to wake you up in the morning, and if you’re worried about emergency calls, leave it near the door, in earshot but out of arm’s reach. Steal these other habits of creative people.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fL72om

Fisher explains key components of Mediterranean cuisine include whole grains; monounsaturated fat found in olive oil, nuts, and avocados;...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gJ37Jo

The holidays are the most stressful time of the year for us

Every Christmas we display beautifully wrapped gift boxes that are ready for you to put a bow on and call it day. But it’s frustrating to see customers tear open these boxes to inspect the items inside. Please leave them alone! There are always a few mannequins right next to the gift box display wearing the clothes inside. “Trust me! The mannequins aren’t just standing there playing the mannequin challenge,” says a brand merchandising supervisor who has worked at Victoria’s Secret PINK for three years. “It’s not only annoying for us but also for the customer behind you interested in purchasing it; they can’t buy it now because it looks like a hot mess.” (Try these tips and tricks to save money Christmas shopping this year.)

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gIX8Em

If you experience a power cut specific to your property and it's not affecting your neighbors, this is probably an electrical fault. Kyle Gesuelli, Home...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gjy8H9

1- According to Tide & Downy principal scientist Mary Johnson seventy percent of laundry soil are invisible with each eight pound load contains grime...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fC6xSe

Maya Angelou kept a hotel room in her hometown and paid for it by the month. She visited it around 6:30 a.m. each day, and used it specifically as a...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gjn7oS

Spending time alone with your partner? Then ditch your phone. "Putting your phone away is a hard habit to break for couples, who are busy and need to...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fPOarp

If you buy into pop culture, psychologists either sit next to a patient lying on a chaise, or flip through a series of inkblots and asking: “What do you see?”

Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach developed inkblot tests with a series of ten cards in 1921. He used them to secretly diagnose schizophrenia, but now the pictures are used to figure out personality traits. People apply meaning to abstract images, so their reactions to the inkblots shed some light on how they think about the world.

These inkblots from Psychobook aren’t from Rorschach’s original ten, but they’ll uncover some telling things about your personality.

What does this inkblot make you see?

If you see a…

Roast chicken (whole image)
Like anyone, you can have doubts about what you’re doing, but overall you feel centered and clear about what you need. Alienation is not your thing—you’d rather be passionately engaged. (Related: Here are little ways to connect with others when you’re lonely.) You get bored contemplating the meaning of life. Like writer Anton Chekhov said, “That is like asking, ‘What is a carrot?’ A carrot is a carrot, and nothing more is known about it.”

Cartoonish cat that looks shocked (whole image)
You like to get involved in and work things out as they come up, which explains your loud, passionate side. It is very important for you feel like someone is on your side, listening to you. Negotiation and conflict are facts of life as far as you’re concerned, so even though you aren’t abrasive at heart, you can come across that way.

Faceless woman or someone in a wig (upside down)
You set yourself high standards and expect others to do the same. You aren’t convinced that patience is a virtue. (Related: Do you have a gritty personality?)

Doctor reaching out to a patient’s jaws (sideways)
Life isn’t meant to be easy, and people can’t always be expected to get along. You feel like you just have to be yourself, and if people can’t handle that…well, as
 they say in Barbados, “The eggshell have no right at the hard rock dance.”

Rocket or tower (white space inside image)
You work extremely hard, constantly setting yourself new challenges in an attempt to get stronger. You
 get a lot done and are highly appreciated professionally. In your private life, you may need to lighten up and not be so controlling. You can file that neatly in your “To Do” folder. (Related: Are you a perfectionist?)

Now onto the next inkblot test. What do you see?

If you see…

Two figures leaning forward (sides of image), or person praying (whole image)
A cerebral soul, you are an imaginative, deep thinker. You know all too well the concentration and patience required to do anything good, and you can’t see why anyone would settle for anything less if they care about what they’re doing.

A racing car or speed (whole image), or two furry baby animals (center)
Your big imagination is one of the first things people notice about you. You are naturally drawn to metaphors, and you excel at constructing other worlds, seeing things from other people’s points of view, and imagining yourself soaring to great heights or plummeting to your doom.

Content continues below ad

A dentist or barber’s chair (whole image)
You are sensitive and generous, a combination that means you get a lot out of life but also take it painfully to heart. Because you wear your heart on your sleeve, people tend to want to look after you, which can sometimes make it hard for you to recognize true intimacy. Formal, conventional environments drain you. (Check out these signs of incredible empathy.)

Two dark figures invading another figure (whole image)
You may progress as you digress, or you may just digress. How many unfinished emails or unmade phone calls trail in your wake? In the words of novelist Philip Roth, “The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.” Try these tricks to stop procrastinating.

OK, what do you see in this inkblot?

If you see…

A beetle, maybe with claws (whole image)
You are very hardworking, and are good at handling your career and the “game” in general. Success comes naturally to you. You arrange your pieces on the board, lay your plans, and follow through with them. You can be careful or daring, depending on the situation. In the end, you figure the cleverest or luckiest play will always win. (Related: Find out how successful people spend their mornings here.)

A pair of dancing emus wearing boas (whole image, except bottom center)
You feel the pull of glamour and the high life like gravity. You always know the place to be and enjoy being there, though sometimes you don’t like how you feel the next day or what you see in the mirror as you head for the dance floor. Sometimes you wonder why that is, but other times you tell yourself not to take yourself so seriously. Here’s how to stop the damage of negative self talk.

Two pairs of hummingbirds (sides of image)
You’re a connoisseur, a beija-flor (kisser of flowers), as the Portuguese call the hummingbird. Like how hummingbirds sometimes feed on as many as 1,000 flowers a day, you’re constantly on the move, pursuing objects of desire and seeking out beautiful things.

Sunglasses, a bra, or a beard (bottom of image)
You like dressing up, and it suits you, though you can worry too much about what people think of you and seek external solutions—a new car, new clothes—to internal problems. You’re tempted to rationalize this as a Warholian creed— life is just surfaces—but you’re not sure if this solves everything.

A skeleton (whole image) or bones (details)
Life can seem like a treadmill or a merry-go-round, repeating itself over and over. You worry about feeling drained and hollow, grinding to a halt. Sometimes you think you should take more emotional risks. (Related: Are you too much of a workaholic?)

If you want to find more revealing games, quizzes, and questionnaires like this one, pick up a copy of Psychobook.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gDsfoz

Few things are more disconcerting than being woken up by a bright light. Its unexpectedness is almost as startling as the temporary blindness that follows.

Odd as it may seem, this sensation isn’t all that different from light box therapy, a common treatment for seasonal affective disorder. SAD is a type of depression brought on by seasonal changes, typically when fall turns into winter (though for some people, the spring and early summer months are triggers). Light boxes can counteract those depressed feelings with a type of light that can activate mood-boosting hormones.

SAD affects only about 1-3 percent of the U.S. population, though 15 percent report having “winter blues,” similar feelings of sadness without an adverse effect on mood or mental health, which some studies suggest can be treated with light box therapy as well. SAD rates increase notably in northern states, where there’s naturally less sunlight. Symptoms typically start to appear between ages 20 and 30, and women are three to five times more likely to develop symptoms than men.

As a 22-year-old woman from suburban Wisconsin, I’m a prime target. I never understood why winter was such a hard time for me until a college counselor introduced me to light therapy. It’s been two years since I last used my light box, but as the nights grow longer and the days get colder, I decide it’s a good time to take it out of retirement.

SAD: The most appropriate acronym ever
Symptoms of SAD can be similar to those of major depression, like feeling hopeless and drained of energy, losing interest in activities you love, and suicidal thoughts. But Craig Sawchuk, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, describes the signs that distinguish SAD from other forms of depression as “hibernation-like symptoms:” Excess sleep, increased appetite, cravings for carbs, weight gain, and overall sluggish feelings.

Light boxes are made to treat and prevent those feelings with the specific type and intensity of their lights, measured in lux (the typical intensity is 10,000 lux). Our circadian rhythm is what helps us stay awake during the day and sleep at night, but it can get offset by the extended darkness winter brings. By exposing light directly through the retina, light boxes help the hormones serotonin and dopamine kicking, which resets the circadian rhythm. “It’s like a control-alt-delete where we reset our biological clock,” Sawchuk says.

It’s best to turn on the light within an hour of getting up, so it can help your body wake up as well. So every morning, I woke up, made breakfast, and sat down with the light box about three feet in front of me. The box is only a bit bigger than the newest iPhone, but its intense blue light is as bright as the noon sun on a spring day. Every few minutes, I would glance into the light—as is directed—but after just a few minutes of it shining on me, I got used to its high intensity. This would be a breeze.

Content continues below ad

Not so much. The instantaneous mood boost I was expecting never came. In fact, the next day, I started feeling more depressed. All I could think about was getting back in bed. I felt homesick for the first time since moving away from my family three months ago.

Sawchuk later explained to me that an intensification of symptoms can be a side effect for some people. But more common side effects are feeling more anxious and restless, getting headaches, and sudden behavioral changes.

Be patient: The results are worth it
Some people need two or three weeks before they start feeling the light box’s effects to kick in. But about a week after I started using it, something changed. I was less cranky when I woke up. Getting out of bed didn’t seem like the end of the world. The homesickness settled down. Even though it was still dark when I left my apartment for work, I felt surprisingly awake.

One morning, my train to work was delayed 20 minutes because of a broken track. Some people groaned. Others complained. I didn’t. Yes, I wouldn’t get to work when I wanted to, but I had 20 more minutes to myself. 20 minutes to sit and relax. My new mood allowed me to make the most of a situation that was out of my control.

It’s important to keep using the light box even after you start feeling better. SAD isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a condition that requires continual treatment. You wouldn’t work out for just one day to get in better physical shape, would you? (These are other natural treatments for SAD you can try.)

Unfortunately, light boxes don’t treat physical illnesses brought on by cold weather. The day after my train ride of self-discovery, I promptly got a cold.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gueh5q

Poop, feces, doo-doo, turd, bowel movement. Whatever you call it, we all do it, so why not talk about it? After all, it is a natural function of the human body. When most of us have to go, we go. But what happens when there’s a super long line in the bathroom? Or you’re on a road trip and the nearest restroom isn’t for another 45 minutes? Or you’re in the middle of an important work meeting? Here’s everything you need to know about holding it in.

Poop is important. Like sweat and pee, pooping is a way your body gets rid of toxins and material it can’t use. “A bowel movement is the last stop in the movement of food through your digestive tract,” according to the U.S. National Library of Medicine. “It’s made of what is left after your digestive system (stomach, small intestine, and colon) absorbs nutrients and fluids from what you eat and drink.” In fact, we may be meant to poop after every meal, according to Dana Cohen, MD, a NYC-based integrative and internal medicine physician. “After we eat, there’s the gastrocolic reflex, which is when our stomach stretches, and that signals to us that we’re supposed to poop,” Dr. Cohen says.

If you’re not pooping after every meal, there’s no need to be alarmed, because everyone’s digestive system is different. You may go once a day, every other day, or once every three to four days. But when you feel the urge to go, you should go as soon as you can get to a toilet. The longer you hold in poop, the greater the odds of experiencing negative effects such as stomach cramps and constipation, as the fluid in the bowel gets absorbed over time and leaves the solids to become more compacted.

If you have to hold it in, you’re not likely to face any serious health risks as long as it’s not a frequent occurrence and it’s not for too long. “A rectum is a holding vesicle, so that’s what it’s there for. It’s meant to store poop until you can go,” says Dr. Cohen. “It’s rare to see in an adult that holding in poop is really dangerous.” That said, if you haven’t gone number two in two weeks or more, see your doctor for stool softeners, fiber pills, or an enema if necessary.

If your child is holding in poop, “it can be a real problem if they’re holding it in for psychological reasons.” Dr. Cohen says, which is why you should talk to your pediatrician ASAP if that’s the case. Not to mention that the pooping habits we learn as a child follow us into adulthood. Here are 11 other things that your bowel movements can reveal about your health.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fNOabo

Whether you crack your knuckles to relieve stress or just out of habit, you’ve likely heard people warn that it can cause arthritis or worse. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t cause arthritis, according to Alex Foxman, MD, of the Beverly Hills Institute and an internist specializing in Internal, Aesthetic, and Preventive Medicine in Los Angeles. But that doesn’t mean the habit is harmless.

“Though cracking your knuckles won’t cause arthritis, several studies show that chronic knuckle crackers may have decreased hand grip strength and swollen hands,” Dr. Foxman says. “If cracking your knuckles is accompanied by pain, this can be due to an underlying injury.” Though the data is sparse, there are some reports of skin changes and ligament swelling from chronic knuckle cracking, according to Pamela Arsove, MD, with CityMD, a network of urgent care centers in the New York City metro area.

If cracking knuckles offers some relief from stiff fingers or tired hands—the “crack” you hear is actually caused by gas bubbles bursting in the lubricating fluid around the joints, called synovial fluid, according to Dr. Foxman—that may be A-okay. “There are no negative health effects of cracking your knuckles, period,” says orthopedic surgeon John Kelly, MD, who specializes in minimally invasive procedures Orange County, California.

Some research even suggests that cracking knuckles may bring benefits. A knuckle-cracking study by Robert Szabo, MD, a hand surgeon at the UC Davis Medical Center and former president of the American Society for Surgery of the Hand, and Robert Boutin, MD, a radiologist at UC Davis, examined people’s knuckles pre- and post-crack, along with the knuckles of a group of non-crackers, to look for problems, including hand swelling and waning grip strength. The knuckle-crackers didn’t have any hand problems, according to an article on an article on CNN. “In fact, after someone cracked a knuckle, it had an increased range of motion compared with knuckles they hadn’t cracked,” the article reports.

So what really can increase your chances of getting arthritis? According to Johns Hopkins Arthritis Center, key causes include genetic predisposition, aging, and excessive mechanical stress. But arthritis is not inevitable. Here’s how doctors reduce their risk of developing arthritis.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fNJWAr

It has been said that people enter our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  

• Reason (a project or one time activity, a “guardian angel” encounter when someone steps in and moves you out of a dangerous situation, a fleeting/swoop by lesson)
• Season (a short term; perhaps a few months or years, interaction that teaches you lessons that you may not have learned otherwise.)
• Lifetime (long term connections that may begin at birth or anywhere along the timeline, that endures, perhaps despite challenges, or may even strengthen thus)

The reality is that one day someone will die or leave you, or you will die or leave them. Sound morbid or maudlin? It need not. Instead, it calls for an awareness of the precious and often-times fleeting nature of relationship.

It begins with a desire for connection. According to scientist, Matthew Lieberman, the author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, we are social creatures with an inherent need to engage with others.

Everyone you now know and love was once a stranger. When you gaze back over your timeline, can you recall a time when many of these people were not in your life? Some have been with you for so long, that it might be unimaginable.

Sara shares her experience, “Throughout his life my son would look at me puzzled when he would see me smile or greet ‘strangers.'” He would ask, “Do you know that person?” When I would respond, “Not yet,” he would continue, “Then why are you saying hi to them?” My answer was always, “Because they are in my world.”

Continuing, “How sad it would be to have missed the opportunity to connect with certain people who grace my life and how rich I am to now know and love them. It is hard to imagine what it was like before they stepped on stage. I have had fleeting encounters with folks whose smile or comment have made my day. I have lifelong relationships that I treasure. I anticipate connecting with anam cara (Gaelic for soul friend) as each day I set an intention for having extraordinary experiences and meeting amazing people.  And each day I do.”

“Walking through my door will be people I will love for decades and look forward to embracing as new links in those overlapping soul circles that so delight me,” she adds poetically. “I am grateful for my far-flung tribe, wherever it is that they are living and breathing now.”

Many of our interactions seem “meant to be,” or in Yiddish, “beshert.” Consider people who show up in unexpected ways as if scripted. You may have thought how wonderful it would be to have someone help you with a task and within short order, a person crosses your path who is ready, willing and able to be of assistance. A desire arises for a new friend who will engage in fun activities with you and later that day you hear about a meetup in your area that focuses on the very thing that peaks your interest.

Once a relationship is established, you may find yourself taking the person for granted; assuming they will fit into the “lifetime” category. Relationships need to be cultivated and tended to like a blossoming garden. With neglect, they will wither and with loving attention, they will flourish. This is so, whether we are speaking of platonic friendships, family relationships or romantic partnerships.

How to maintain the garden:

• Keep the lines of communication open. People are not always mind-readers and can only respond to what they imagine you are thinking or feeling.
• The same behaviors that drew you to each other can be maintained. Keep courting each other with kind and loving words and gestures.
• Don’t let the fire get doused. Feed it with fun, attention and the fuel that lit it initially.
• Speak to this person as if they are someone you love and would like them to remain in your life.
• Start with the ending and imagine that the relationship is over, so that the pressure is off and you can speak the truth about who you are, rather than hiding your shortcomings to make a good impression.  
• We can think about the concept of, “If I had a year to live, what would I do in that period?” An even more revealing question might be, “What if I knew my parent/child/partner/friend had a year to live, how would I treat them?” Would you be more patient and understanding? Would you spend more time together creating memories that will carry you through the loss?
• Don’t sweat the small stuff and it is mostly all small stuff. Richard Carlson, the author of the beloved series by that name, had it all going for him. A wonderful marriage to Kristine, two thriving daughters, a solid career as a writer and speaker. On board a plane, headed to New York from California, he had a pulmonary embolism and died on December 13, 2006 at the age of 45. Would you be better able to accept what comes your way if you knew that each breath could be your last?

What happens when the show is over and the curtain comes down on the relationship?

Sometimes, despite your best efforts and that of the other person, the relationship dynamics shift and the person leaves your life either by your choice, theirs, or by agreement. Conscious uncoupling has become a more commonly spoken about concept, with the split between actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin; lead singer of Coldplay. How do you maneuver those sometimes-treacherous waters?

It would be understandable to harbor emotions of sadness, anger and resentment in the wake of the loss. Allow yourself to feel it all, but be aware that permitting them to take up residence in your mind, might keep you trapped in a downward spiral. Find supportive people to be on your recovery team as you heal your heart.

Some relationships have toxic qualities (such as abuse, untreated addiction, lying, infidelity, criminal activity) that are better left, lest they pull you down into the abyss. Even if love remains between the two of you, there are times when it is safer to love from a distance.

Remind yourself that you had a life prior to meeting this person and will have one following the changing of the relationship dynamics. Once the relationship completes (as much as any relationship can be fully over), take a pro-active and self-loving stance as you decide who you truly are, outside its structure. Even as it can be a painful process, shedding the layers of who you were with this person, ask yourself who you are without them.

Thank the person, either aloud or in your mind, for the lessons that came as part and parcel of the relationship. There is always a gift in every interaction, even if it might not seem so at the time. Gratitude has a way of easing the pain and smoothing away the rough edges.

Regardless of the ways in which relationships change, be compassionate with yourself and the others involved, to help heal any residual wounds. Honor and appreciate it for what it was as you open the door for even more to enter and enrich your life.

from Psych Central http://ift.tt/2fIC6oA

You’re on the trek home from the office and all geared up for an intense workout session. Your bag’s packed full with gym stuff and you feel pumped. Then something odd happens. As you walk toward the shiny glass doors of the gym, your feet seem to disconnect from your brain. Rather than heading swiftly inside, they change direction and start walking you toward your home. You don’t even fight it. “Oh well, there’s always tomorrow,” you think and resign yourself to yet another evening on the couch.

Whether it’s exercising after a long, grueling day at the office or spending just a few hours a week learning a new language, we all have things that we put off. It’s a bizarre paradox. We know that we should do these things and, in some cases, we actively want to do them, but that doesn’t mean that we’re willing to put in the time and effort.

If this scenario sounds all-too-familiar to you, the solution may be easier than you imagine. Katherine Milkman, associate professor of operations, information, and decisions at The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, coined a term and theory that you can use to spur yourself on when it comes to these pesky little chores. ‘Temptation bundling’ is something that many people use without even knowing it. According Milkman’s theory, “Valuable healthy behaviors could be increased, while guilt and wasted time from indulgent behaviors decreased, through the use of temptation bundling.”

So, what exactly is it? In short, this theory means ‘bundling’ things that you want along with the things that you have to do. For example, you might only be able to have a tasty chocolate bar while you’re studying. Having the temptation so closely linked with the chore simply means you’re more likely to tackle it.

Here’s the science. Along with another Wharton professor Kevin Volpp and a Harvard Kennedy School professor Julia Minson, Milkman conducted an experiment with students as participants. Each student claimed that they wanted to exercise more, but lacked motivation. Next, the researchers split the participants into three groups. Participants in the first group had an iPod full of audio books they could only access while at the gym, while the second group had the audio books loaded onto their personal devices, meaning they could access them as they pleased. The third group (the control group) were simply given a $25 gift card and encouraged to exercise more.

By the end of the eight-week long study, those in the first group attended the gym 51 percent more than the control group and 29 percent more than the second group. “We find that attendance rates increased meaningfully and significantly with access to the temptation bundling program, suggesting that temptation bundling creates value,” explains the paper. What that means is that when people’s access to temptation was restricted to gym-only periods, they were more likely to workout.

Ready to make a change? The takeaway here is that by linking the things that you enjoy (be it audio books, snacks, or games) to the chores that you usually don’t do, you can change your lifestyle. If you’ve been looking for a little motivation in your life, you might just have found it.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fyPd0p

"Dry" doesn't mean "warm", people. Sure the dehydrated version of normal fruit doesn't spoil as quickly as it's more moisture-filled brothers, but...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fNjjvt

First things, first. Chose a date and time that will work for many people. Don't wait until the holidays are on top of you, remember many people travel...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gt1tw9

Pee doesn’t actually heal a jellyfish sting

Next time you get stung by a jellyfish at the beach, hold off on having your buddy take a bathroom break on your leg. “There’s absolutely no truth to the legend that pee has any healing or antibacterial properties, so you probably shouldn’t have your friend pee on you, ever,” says Steven A. Kaplan, MD, director of Benign Urologic Diseases and The Men’s Health Program at Mount Sinai Health System in New York City.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gfram9

Amaryllis

Amaryllis look stunning by themselves in a vase, without needing accent flowers to pull them together. Give them as much height as possible for a striking look that lets them bloom longer, suggests Nic Faitos, senior partner with Starbright Floral Design. Pick a candy striped red and white one for your candy cane lane, or mix and match colors for a sophisticated look. “I like combining red and burgundy amaryllis together and playing with textures and hue,” says Faitos. “Think a deep burgundy next to a fire-truck red.”

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gsAscg

Glitter tights

Show off your legs—while still keeping warm—by pulling on a pair of shimmery silver tights. They’re an unexpected touch that will subtly draw attention. Check out these other winter fashion tips to keep you warm and stylish.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gshHWw

The solstice is actually a time

Contrary to popular belief, the winter solstice isn’t a day. It’s the specific moment in time when the sun is above the Tropic of Capricorn, a circle of latitude below the equator. This is the southern-most point the sun ever reaches from our perspective on Earth. For 2016, the winter solstice happens on December 21 at 10:44 UTC (Universal Time Coordinated). Use this table to translate your time zone into UTC and calculate when the winter solstice is in your area.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gs6rcB

Recognize if it’s more than just the humbugs

Your holiday blues might have more to do with winter’s lack of light than the festivities. Some people experience seasonal depression disorder when they’re exposed to less sunlight, says Leslie Freedman, PhD, clinical psychologist and family mediator. “The winter holiday season is at the depths of the winter solstice—the shortest days of the year,” he says. “It may have culminated in the sense of holiday blahs but is more about seasonal affective disorder.” If you’ve been feeling more irritable, getting fatigued, or putting on weight since the days started getting shorter, you could be showing symptoms of SAD. Try using a light therapy box to bring back some light into your life—literally and figuratively.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gEM5NW

If you've got extra toothpaste, a can of hairspray, and a bunch of bobby pins lying around, it's time to put them away. Store excess countertop items...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2g0XoPo

Everyone needs mental health days and holidays, but if you seem to be calling out simply because you dread going into work, that's a red flag. "If you...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gEzhXU

"My great grandmother always told me to be careful what you go fishing for because you may come out with snakes. As a therapist, I share this with my...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2grP37G

When a friend or family member is struggling, our natural instinct is to take action and give them what we consider "helpful" advice for handling the...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2grEIIZ

You've heard about the soothing power of both chamomile tea and lavender. Why not combine the duo for the ultimate sleep-promoting brew? "The oil and...

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2g0vdjn

You might think of sexually transmitted diseases as a problem only for teens and young adults, but since the advent of dating apps, STD cases have skyrocketed even as STD testing has declined, a tragic combination that has led to nearly 20 million new cases of the diseases each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The latest CDC data show that total rates of STD infections grew sharply over the past two years. Syphilis saw the biggest increase—rising 19 percent in 2015 from just the previous year—it rose by 27 percent among women alone, and the rate of congenital syphilis (passed from pregnant women to their fetus) went up by 6 percent. Some 1.5 million cases of chlamydia were recorded in 2015, a jump of nearly 6 percent from 2014, and cases of gonorrhea grew by almost 13 percent from the previous year. While young adults ages 15 to 24 were still the heaviest-hit demographic, accounting for two-thirds of diagnoses last year, adults 65 and older saw astonishing increases. In this age bracket, chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea rose by about 52 percent, 65 percent, and 90 percent respectively.

These diseases are highly treatable with antibiotics, but because of embarassment, lack of symptoms, or lack of healthcare—budget cuts to state and local programs have eroded our healthcare system’s ability to test and treat STDs—many people don’t get prompt medical attention. And unfortunately, untreated STDs can cause a host of complications, including pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, premature birth and stillbirth, certain cancers, brain damage, stroke, and even death. What’s more, gonorrhea is becoming resistant to even some of the last resort antibiotics used to treat it.

Jonathan Mermin, MD, MPH, director of the CDC’s National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention, has said we need to expand and rebuild services that treat STDs—or the number of infections, as well as the economic burden, will continue to soar.

The good news is STDs are preventable. Although abstinence—which means no oral, anal, or vaginal sex—is still the only guaranteed way to avoid becoming infected with a STD, condoms are highly effective when used every time. (Here’s what happens to your body when you stop having sex.) The CDC has found that though most people report using condoms the first time, only a quarter report using it every time in a four-week span, leaving them vulnerable to contracting a sexually transmitted disease. It’s important to note, however, that condoms are not as effective in the prevention of the HPV and herpes viruses, which can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact. Which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t protect yourself—no matter what your age or stage of life. (These myths about HPV could damage your health.)

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gD3Ywh

Today we sit down with Jason Porath, author and illustrator of "Rejected Princesses," which started as a blog but has grown into an impressively large and beautiful book.

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2fuqWZe

“A House Divided Against Itself”
In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus tells an impudent crowd, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.” However, the phrase didn’t enter the modern lexicon until it was quoted by Abraham Lincoln in his famous nomination acceptance speech of 1858. Addressing the contentious issue of slavery in the United States, he told an audience of Republican politicians that “a house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free.” (Read these timeless Abraham Lincoln quotes.)

“Escape By the Skin of One’s Teeth”
This is one of the many proverbs that owe their origin to the colorful language of the Book of Job. The tormented hero Job is complaining about his woes. He has become, he says, so emaciated that “my bone cleaveth to my skin and to my flesh, and I am escaped with the skin of my teeth.” The proverbial meaning is that he has missed death by a tiny margin—as narrow as the (nonexistent) skin on a person’s teeth. But biblical scholars have argued endlessly about what the phrase originally signified. Some argue for a more literal interpretation: Afflicted with sores from head to toe, Job is left with only the thin porcelain “skin” of his teeth unblemished.

“Gird One’s Loins”
Two archaic words come together in this phrase. Gird, from the Old English gyrdan, means to put a belt (or girdle) around something. Loins, from the Latin lumbus, originally described the flanks of an animal and, from the fourteenth century, those parts of the human body that, as medieval writers primly put it, “should be covered.” In biblical times, when long robes were still in fashion, anyone embarking on strenuous physical activity or going into battle ran a serious risk of tripping on a trailing hem and falling flat on his or her face. The solution? To tuck one’s robe into one’s belt and get ready for action (i.e., to gird one’s loins).

A “Behemoth”
The behemoth is a mysterious animal mentioned in the Book of Job. With bones “like bars of iron” and a tail “like a cedar,” this mighty beast was said to be able to suck the whole river Jordan into its mouth. Biblical scholars have long debated whether the behemoth is a mythical creature or just an exaggerated description of an ordinary animal (the most popular candidate is a hippopotamus). Whatever the original “behemoth” may have been, the name has become a metaphor for anything that reaches spectacular size.

A “Scapegoat”
The Book of Leviticus describes the proper ceremonies to be observed on the Jewish Day of Atonement, when the land of Israel would be ritually cleansed of its sins. The procedure was that one goat would be offered to God as a sacrifice, while the other—the “scapegoat”—would be symbolically loaded with all the misdeeds of the nation before being driven into the wilderness. This ceremony was said to have been carried out since the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt.

“The Ends of the Earth”
Like most other ancient cultures, the ancient Israelites thought it obvious that since the earth was flat, it must have limits. “The ends of the earth” therefore appears repeatedly in the Old Testament as a way to describe the farthest reaches of the then-known world. When, in the Book of Job, God is said to “directeth … his lightning unto the ends of the earth,” it’s just a poetic way of saying that God is in charge everywhere.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fJLJqu

In February of 2005, Phil Belfiore was teaching his seventh-grade students how to write a parody of the Robert Frost poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.” He liked the sample that he had written for them, so he recorded it on his home answering machine: “Whose phone this is I think you know/I cannot answer it now though/So state your name, be very clear/I’ll call you back when I get home.”

That act would lead to one of the most unusual friendships of his life.

When Phil and his family returned to Maryland from Easter vacation, he listened to his voice messages. One gentleman caller apologized for dialing the wrong number. But, he added, he’d heartily enjoyed the poem (“My little dog must think it queer/To hear my voice when I’m not near/It causes her poor heart to ache/And fills her with a pang of fear”). Phil laughed and thought nothing more of it—until the phone rang a few days later.

“I recognized the voice immediately,” recalls Phil, now 57. “He said that he was sorry to bother me, but he was calling to hear the poem again.”

The two men talked. John, now 73, lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming. It turned out that his brother’s phone number was different from Phil’s by one digit, thus the wrong number. Phil inquired about John’s raspy, hollow voice. Was he feeling OK? Sure, just some heart trouble. Had a bypass.

“Before hanging up, I told him to call back anytime,” recalls Phil. Whether to hear more of the poem (“She gives her tiny tail a shake/As if she knows it’s a mistake/If I were there, she’d get a treat/But since I’m not, a nap she’ll take”) or just to talk.

That was 11 years ago. They’ve spoken on the phone a few times a month ever since.

John initiates most calls, but Phil will ring if a while has passed and he has any reason to worry. “We seem to always connect when there’s been a storm or a big sports event,” Phil says.

The men discuss football and family. John will reminisce about his life or update Phil on folks he has been in touch with. “Slowly over the years, our conversations have grown much more personal,” says Phil. “We talk primarily about John’s health, finances, and love life. Also our relatives, hobbies, and whatever else comes up. Sometimes we just talk for a minute to see how the other is doing.”

“Like old friends?” I prod. I’m trying to understand from Phil what draws these men to each other.

“We are old friends,” Phil says.

No need to overthink it. John, who over 11 years has shared a little of himself at a time, has woven himself into the fabric of Phil’s life.

I call John and find him an engaging storyteller with an exceptional memory. He tells me that as a child visiting Capitol Hill, he had lunch in the Senate dining room with Wyoming’s Frank Barrett, whom he’d recognized in the hallway and charmed. (The senator was on a popular citrus diet and had grapefruit.)

In the years since, John’s 25-year job working for the Veterans Administration provided enough spending money to travel, mostly to visit family and friends. He has been to China, Israel, Turkey, and all 50 states.

Three years ago, 50 people came from far and wide for John’s surprise 70th-birthday lunch. Phil couldn’t make it. They’ve planned to meet twice since, but circumstances conspired against them.

Neither minds this latest “haven’t.” Phil and John haven’t gone to a game together, had a cup of coffee together, or sat on the other’s sofa. Their friendship is based on the simple act of picking up the phone. Two men checking in, talking about football, and maybe sharing stories.

“My best friend is someone I’ve not yet met in person,” says John.

It’s as simple, and as extraordinary, as that.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2fJBUbX

Chemical sensing devices are not just for detecting radon gas and carbon monoxide. Learn about where and how they are used at HowStuffWorks.

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2gCFio0

It was 5:45 a.m. in March 2011, and as pediatrician Michael Shannon, MD, drove along California’s Pacific Coast Highway toward the beach, he could smell the sea. He was taking a route he knew well to meet a friend for their regular Tuesday walk. As he headed toward Dana Point Harbor, a blanket of white suddenly interrupted his vision. A semitruck had pulled onto the road in front of him. The physician had no time to react.

“I probably said a few expletives in my mind,” he recalls. “I remember the wham and the sound of breaking glass, and then everything stopped. I was sitting still.”

Shannon remained conscious during the collision. In the quiet afterward, his first thought was that he was alive. His second thought was that he had to get out—fast. He sensed something burning. His legs and feet, wedged beneath the crumpled dashboard, felt hot. But he was pinned.

Help arrived almost instantly; a unit from the Orange County Fire Department was on the scene in less than two minutes. Four men work on Engine 29—two are paramedics—and that morning, they were returning to their firehouse when they got the call. The guys were exhausted from working all night, but the timing was better than good. They were already in the truck and ready to go.

Arriving at the scene, paramedic Chris Trokey could immediately see how urgent it was. At 30, Trokey had been on the job for eight years, and this accident was a nine out of ten in severity. The whole front end of the SUV was tucked under the body of the semi. He could see that the engine was smoldering—now only a small red flame like a campfire, but he knew it could explode within minutes. The man inside the vehicle appeared remarkably calm. “He wasn’t freaking out. He wasn’t yelling,” recalls Trokey. “He was saying, ‘Get me out of here.’”

Meanwhile, Shannon’s lower extremities were getting hotter. He could feel the nylon mesh of his running shoes melting onto his toes. The crew acted fast. “Someone handed me a fire extinguisher through the window, and I think I used another expletive and said, ‘I need a hose!’” Shannon says. He was given a fire hose and used it to put out the flames inside his vehicle.

The firemen doused the engine fire and called for backup: They needed stronger tools to pry open the SUV. As they waited, Trokey phoned Mission Hospital in Laguna Beach to alert the medical trauma team. After 20 minutes, with a second crew’s help, the Chevy Suburban was opened with the Jaws of Life, and Trokey put the man on a backboard and a gurney within seconds. As he sat with him in the back of the ambulance with the siren blaring, Trokey began to meditate on the crash victim’s name: Michael Shannon.

The paramedic wondered, Could this be the same man who had saved his own life 30 years ago, when he was a preemie and arrived at the very same ER they were headed to with panicked parents and a perilously high temperature? The doctor who slept by Trokey’s side in the hospital until he was well enough to go home? As Trokey sat with Shannon, the feeling of recognition grew stronger. But he didn’t say anything—not then. “I wanted to focus on what was going on.”

Content continues below ad

In June 1986, Chris Trokey entered the world ten weeks early. His father, Mike, likes to joke that his son loves ambulances because he was almost born in one. Mike and his wife, Dee, went to Mission Hospital after her water broke. There, they were rushed by ambulance to the hospital at the University of California Irvine, 25 miles away. UCI had the region’s only neonatal intensive care unit (NICU); their baby, the Trokeys were informed, had a 50-50 chance of survival.

Weighing three pounds, two ounces at birth, the baby could fit in the palm of Mike’s hand. But Chris was tough, breathing on his own within hours. While he was in the NICU, his parents commuted between Irvine and their home in Dana Point. During those anxious first weeks, Mike and Dee searched for a local pediatrician who was skilled enough to cope with the health problems that premature babies often face. Mike worked as an educator in the Saddleback Valley school district, coordinating programs. As he looked through student files, he noticed one name again and again: Dr. Michael Shannon. When the Trokeys went for a meeting, they liked Shannon right away, from his capable manner to his shoulder-length hair, denim shirt, and turquoise belt buckle. “He was the type of guy you could talk to as if he was your brother,” Dee remembers, “but you had confidence that he could do anything.”

After seven weeks, Chris was discharged, and his parents drove to Shannon’s office so he could check the baby out. Chris was fine. However, within two weeks, he spiked what Shannon coolly calls “a pretty good-sized fever”—dangerous for a newborn but exponentially more so for a preemie. The Trokeys were in touch with Shannon as the fever soared, and the doctor soon suggested the family meet him at Mission Hospital.

Dee was a wreck. Having already faced the possibility that her newborn might not survive and then living apart from him for nearly two months, a life-threatening fever felt like the last straw. At the hospital, Shannon was waiting for the Trokeys. Utterly calm, he took the entire family into his care. There was no infant ICU at Mission at the time, so “pediatricians took care of their own intensive problems,” says Shannon. He took Chris’s blood and sent it to the lab and did a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. Then he put the infant on an IV antibiotic drip and had the parents go home to sleep. Shannon would watch over their son, he told them. The pediatrician stayed with Chris for two nights, and on the third day, the boy went home.

Chris grew up with the family legend of the time that Shannon slept in the hospital with him until he was safe. His parents told the story again and again as the happiest resolution to the most desperate period of their lives. Chris continued to be Shannon’s patient until he was in his teens.

After the car wreck, in an echo of what had happened 30 years before, Chris Trokey stayed by Shannon’s side in the trauma room for a few minutes. “I asked, ‘Do you remember me at all? You stayed with me when I was really little,’” says Trokey. Shannon had suffered a perforated small intestine. He had second- and third-degree burns on his feet, and part of a toe had to be amputated. Shards of glass were embedded in his skin.

Content continues below ad

Shannon recognized Chris’s name at once. Although he has treated more children than he can remember, it’s the ones who need him most who stick. Yet if they’d passed each other on the street, neither man would have recognized the other: At 72, Shannon had cut his hair short. And at six feet three inches tall and 195 pounds, Chris looked nothing like the fragile baby he had once been.

The day after Shannon’s surgery, Trokey and the crew from Engine 29 went to visit Shannon in the ICU. This was unusual. As firefighters and paramedics, they save lives as a matter of course. But this case was different, because it was such a close call—“I don’t know if he knows how lucky he was,” says Trokey—and such a coincidence. Both men still marvel at the connection. Neither Shannon nor Trokey is a churchgoer, but each says this feeling—of having someone enter your life at a critical time and watch over you until you are well, of giving a gift without expectations and then getting it back when you need it most—has given him faith in a higher power.

Shannon and Trokey are busy people—Shannon sees patients four days a week, and Trokey works three 24-hour shifts a week. But every year on the anniversary of the car accident, the two men meet for a meal. And in 2015, Trokey himself became the father of a baby boy. His name is Porter, and he has had no major health problems so far. Dr. Michael Shannon is his pediatrician.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2gAywgY

Robert Lamb considers another vision of the future via the past...

from HowStuffWorks - Learn How Everything Works! http://ift.tt/2ftHmRP

Intense fear, terror, panic or dread my leave you feeling physically and emotionally drained to the point where even normal activities may be avoided or curtailed. You may experience a number of distressing or debilitating symptoms including, but not limited to, tightness in the chest, racing heart, difficulty breathing, trembling hands or limbs, racing thoughts or being in a mental fog, or feeling detached from your body. You may have obsessive thoughts and excessive worry, and self-medicate or engage in other behaviors to calm your nerves. These are all classic symptoms of Anxiety.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) involves excessive anxiety, worry, fear, or unease about events or activities. Its duration, intensity, or frequency is disproportionate to the actual likelihood or impact of the anticipated event.  People suffering with generalized anxiety disorder experience difficulty controlling worrisome thoughts which interfere with managing tasks at hand. It is common for persons with this disorder to worry about daily, routine tasks and circumstances such as school, job or career responsibilities, health, finances, household chores, being late for appointments, or question or evaluate the competence of their performance in given situations. The focus of their worries or anxiety may shift from one concern to another, as it is common for such persons to complain about persistent thoughts of worry, anxiety, fear, distress or dread which they feel incapable of shutting off.

Unlike normal worry, persons with generalized anxiety disorder find the excessive nature of their worries of everyday life significantly interfering with healthy, adaptive psychological, emotional and social functioning. Second, worries are more distressing and longer lasting.

Third, this excessive worry may appear to be without cause. Fourth, excessive worry may be accompanied by physical symptoms such as feeling on edge, being easily fatigued, muscle tension, sleep disturbance, concentration difficulties or having one’s mind seemingly go blank, trembling, shakiness, sweating, nausea, diarrhea, increased heart rate, shortness of breath and dizziness, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, and other debilitating symptoms.

Overcoming Generalized Anxiety Disorder

The good news is that Generalized Anxiety and Panic are highly treatable!!!  With the expertise of a mental health professional who specializes in treating anxiety disorders, and utilizing an approach that’s based on proven interventions individually tailored to meet the needs of each client, you will be well on the path to Recovery.

Cognitive Behavioral (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  Studies have shown that the benefits of CBT may last longer than those of medication, but no single treatment is best for everyone. CBT examines the interconnection between one’s negative thought patterns, feelings and behaviors, and how they maintain, reinforce, and even intensify anxious thoughts and worry associated with generalized anxiety. Learning to replace negative thoughts and beliefs with more realistic, supportive, adaptive thoughts and feelings leads to less generalized worry and anxiety, which translate into increased behavioral mastery and competence in those same or similar situations.

Mindfulness and applied relaxation are other effective treatments which work by focusing one’s awareness of the present moment (vs. future events) by acknowledging and accepting feelings (whether positive or negatively charged) and deactivating bodily sensations. Being mindful makes one aware of what one is feeling and experiencing in the moment while remaining in a calm, accepting state. Applied relaxation focuses on muscle relaxation and visual cues to maintain that state of calm and acceptance. Yoga and other meditative techniques have proven highly effective in reducing or deactivating the “anticipatory anxiety” normally associated with generalized anxiety disorder.

Treatment for Panic and Anxiety Disorders

Panic disorder and other anxiety disorders require specific targeted interventions that are individually tailored to the needs of the client (as no two clients are alike). It is crucial that you receive the guidance, coaching, and expertise of a mental health professional who “specializes” in treating Panic (and other anxiety disorders), as traditional “talk therapy” is ineffective.

Anxiety and panic disorders, if left untreated, not only reinforce continued avoidance of feared situations (for example, in the case where an attack occurred while driving, you may seek alternative routes or stop driving completely).. The anticipation of having another attack may generalize into situations previously not associated with the original fear or panic. These disorders may also lead to Agoraphobia, which is characterized by severe anxiety in situations where an individual feels trapped by their surroundings. Panic sufferers may also experience anticipatory anxiety and generalized anxiety. This disorder can create significant psychological, emotional, and physical distress, as well as avoidance of opportunities personal and professional growth, relationships, and happiness.

The following approaches are evidence-based and proven as most effective for the relief of Panic and Anxiety. They include:

1. Psychoeducational into the nature, cause, and biological basis of Panic on Anxiety.
2. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy which is based on the principle that the only way to overcome Panic is by guided, gradual exposure to the feared event or trigger. While avoidance maintains and increases Panic and often generalizes to new situations, facing your fear eventually desensitizes you to the feared event by reducing the intensity of symptoms and with continued practice can extinguish them all together.
3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy focuses on challenging (or disputing) negative thoughts and core beliefs that fuel panic and anxieties. Breaking the vicious cycle between maladaptive thoughts and beliefs leads to increased mastery over adaptive behaviors which support healthy functioning.
4. Psychodynamic Therapy examines Panic in the context of historical events and relationships that may have played a direct or indirect role in the development of the disorder.
5. Self-regulation addresses emotional and behavioral activation which sustains and reinforces anxiety, fear, and Panic. Strategies include, but are not limited to, mindfulness techniques, meditation and visual imagery, corrective breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation.

from Psych Central http://ift.tt/2ftHNvb