10 Surprising Things that Change When You Get Married

How you see you

I becomes we, me becomes us: that seemingly simple shift in pronouns can stir a whole mess of different emotions. “Couples are often surprised within that first year they have almost an identity crisis,” says Michelle S. Park, MA, licensed marriage and family therapist in NYC. Part of it may stem from the realization that your life is now intertwined with another; that you made what will hopefully be a lifetime commitment and are, in a sense, responsible to that person, she explains. Plus, there’s wrapping your head around what it means to be “husband and wife,” and who you are outside of that role, adds Park. For some couples, the decision to share a last name is part of that identity shift: “I didn’t realize how difficult it would be,” says April M. “It took me 10 months to actually change my name.” And six years later, she still misses it. “But, it makes sense now that we have kids,” adds April, who continues to use her maiden name professionally.