6 Subtle Mistakes that Can Wreck a New Friendship FAST

You’re an open book—or a lockbox

When you make new friends as an adult, you may be eager to move past ho-hum subjects like the weather or your kid’s soccer game, but you’re not sure how to proceed. You don’t want to start blabbing about your colonoscopy or your crazy mother-in-law if your new friend is more reserved—and the opposite is true as well. “A good way to test the waters is to ask semi-surface level questions,” says John Matthews LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist with Virginia Counseling, in Midlothian, Virginia. Matthews suggests asking where they grew up or what their family is like. “These questions will give your friend the opportunity to go deeper if they want, or stay on the surface if they aren’t ready to deep-dive. Either way, you’ll get a sense of how far they feel comfortable going.”