Lisa Find Love

We had threatened to do it for years. We would pack a car with cold chicken and flip-flops and drive south like we used to, till the Alabama foothills faded into souvenir shops, shrimp shacks, and that first ragged palm. They had taken me there, when men still whistled at them and WALLACE stickers papered the bumpers of cars. How could I not take them now?

But we never got out of the driveway, somehow. My aunt Edna’s heart was failing. Aunt Juanita had to care for my homebound uncle, and my mother, Margaret, did not leave home unless blown from it by tornadoes or TNT. So I was stunned a few years ago when my 72-year-old mother told me to come get them. I found the three oldest sisters in the yard, suitcases in their hands. Aunt Jo, the youngest sister, stayed home to watch the livestock.

Edna barbecued 250-some-odd chicken thighs and made two gallons of potato salad for the two-day trip from Jacksonville, Alabama. They packed pork and beans, raw onions, corn bread, a jar of iced tea, a hard-frozen Clorox jug of water, and not one cell phone.

As we drove, they talked of childhood, dirt roads where the dark closed in like a lid on a box, and a daddy who chased the bad things away the second he walked in. By the time we hit Montgomery, they had ridden a horse named Bob, poked a dead chicken named Mrs. Rearden, and fished beside a little man named Jessie Clines. They were remembering their mama and a groundhog that lived under the floorboards as we drove across Mobile Bay.

I wanted them to see the sunset from the Fairhope pier, and as we rolled down the bluff, I heard them go quiet. But the sunset was just a light to see by. It was the roses. They were blooming in a circle the size of a baseball infield, more than 2,000 of them, with names like Derby horses or unrealized dreams—Mr. Lincoln, Strike It Rich, Touch of Class, Crimson Glory, Lasting Love. My mother, who never even liked roses much, said, “Oh, Lord.” Juanita, tough and tiny, made of whalebone and hell, looked about to cry.

Their big sister stepped from the car as if in a trance. I had not known how sick Edna was. Her steps were unsure, halting, as she moved into the garden. The sisters moved close, in case she fell.

Aunt Edna had sewn soldiers’ clothes at the Army base, raised five girls, buried a husband, worked a red-clay garden, pieced a thousand quilts, loved on great-grandchildren, and caught more crappie than any man I have ever known. I believed she was eternal, like the red-clay bank where she built her solid redbrick house.

“So purty,” she said again and again. She lingered in the rose garden a long time, till the sun vanished over the western shore. She saw the Fairhope roses six times on this trip. The last time, because she was tired, we sat in the car.

A year later, I spoke at her funeral. I surprised myself, blubbered like an old fool. For the first time in a long time, it mattered what came out of my head, but the words crashed together inside my skull and I lost the fine things I wanted to say and stood stupidly in front of people who loved her.

Her daughters just hugged me, one by one, and thanked me for the roses.

Buy your own copy of My Southern Journey: True Stories from the Heart of the South by Rick Bragg.

Learning to share, even when it’s hard, is a basic skill to teach your children, right? One mom thinks otherwise, and the Internet is going crazy over it.

When Alanya Kolberg of Springfield, Missouri, took her son, Carson, to the park, at least six other boys rushed at him, asking him to share his toys. As they grabbed at the Transformer, truck, and Minecraft figure, Kolberg told her overwhelmed son that he could say no, she explains in a Facebook post.

The other boys looked to Kolberg, appalled that her son wouldn’t share. But she told them that if he wanted to share, he would.

Kolberg asks anyone shocked at her response to take a different perspective. “Whose manners are lacking here?” she writes. “The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?”

But the mom wasn’t punishing other kids for being demanding. Instead, she wanted to teach Carson how to stand up for himself—not just when he’s being bullied, but when he feels in over his head. (Teaching your little one these forgotten manners is also just as important.) “The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults,” she writes. “While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.”

After all, Carson does share—just not with everyone all the time. In fact, he’d brought the toys so he could surprise another friend with them, Kolberg writes.

Most commenters praised the mom for teaching her child to stand up for himself.

“I applaud you being a present parent, and for instilling your values in your children, for letting them know that you support their decisions, and that you have their backs,” wrote one commenter.

“She isn’t teaching her child not to share, she’s teaching her child comfortability, discretion and control,” wrote another. “It’s not an obligation to share with strangers. Break the ice first, most children will willingly share when they feel comfortable and ready.”

Not everyone was so quick to agree though.

“Children already know how to say no,” wrote another commenter. “We have to teach our kids that giving to others that don’t have [the same] is important.”

Learning the balance between setting boundaries and practicing generosity is key, says psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, co-author of Growing Friendships: A Kid’s Guide to Making and Keeping Friends. “Don’t be mad at kids for asking! They’re allowed to ask,” she says. “It’s up to you to decide what you are or aren’t comfortable doing. It’s not their job to figure out your boundaries.” Kids don’t need to give something away just because another child asks, but they also should learn not to flaunt their possessions, says Dr. Kennedy-Moore.

While it’s totally OK not to share everything, Dr. Kennedy-Moore suggests avoiding conflicts by removing temptation. For instance, if your kids have a particularly precious toy, have them put it away before playdates and leave out playthings they don’t mind other kids using. If your children are uncomfortable sharing when asked, it helps to follow up with a reason, she says. For instance, your kids could explain, “I don’t want it to break,” “I only have one,” or “I don’t want you to touch it, but I’ll let you look.”

If you are afraid your kid turning into a pushover, try role-playing to practice saying no. “Tell your child sometimes it’s necessary to say no more than once to get the message across,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore.

Have you ever wondered if multitasking is an effective work strategy? Why we develop prejudices? Whether playing Mozart will make your infant smarter? What the differences between the right and left sides of our brains are? How we deal with cognitive dissonance? In Brain Briefs: Answers to the Most (and Least) Pressing Questions about Your Mind, Art Markman and Bob Duke address all of these questions — and more — in forty 5-10 page explanations.

Based on their successful podcast, Two Guys on Your Head, Brain Briefs draws on Markman and Duke’s expertise as teachers and academics and covers a wide range of common psychology concepts and questions.

Like the podcast, Brain Briefs is constructed with the average-but-interested listener in mind. The book requires no familiarity with psychology or its foundational concepts, but does address common misconceptions — especially entrenched ideas that have been established by pop psychology.

There’s nothing stuffy or condescending about Brain Briefs. Rather, its greatest success is the accessibility of the content and the appealing tone established by the two authors, who are friends and coworkers. Neither authors shy away from a joke at their own expense to clarify a point or to put the reader at ease. Fans of the podcast will certainly recognize their easygoing style and patient explanations.

Each short chapter begins with a question, which the authors then address using anecdotes and personal examples to illustrate their explanations. Each chapter ends with a pithy saying that encapsulates the primary point of the discussion, i.e., as the two point out, “the sort of insight you might cross-stitch on a pillow.”

These range from “you just never know” to “your brain has many facets, but it doesn’t choose sides,” to “better than brain games: learn to make music.” These nuggets are another expression of the accessible tone and approach Markman and Duke take in Brain Briefs.

Readers of any familiarity with psychology can easily grasp their discussions; they may opt to enjoy it in short bursts, or read it start to finish with little difficulty.

The chapters work fairly independently of one another, and don’t necessarily build on each other in a cumulative way, but with some overlap in terms of subject matter. The idea seems to be that readers might skip around as they like or return to connected ideas, such as the ways in which we try to reach our fullest potential.

Three related topics include: “Is it true that we only use 10 percent of our brains?” “Should we play brain games?” And “Does listening to Mozart make us smarter?” While there is a degree of repetition between the points made in these related chapters, Duke and Markman keep their examples fresh—and always provide readers with a new cross-stitch to conclude their points.

In their introduction, Markman and Duke hope that:

“You will find [it] to be a source of entertainment, one that piques your curiosity, prompts conversation with friends, and perhaps a few nuggets of insight. Even better if you can apply what you learn to your own life…”

With this in mind, I would declare Brain Briefs to be a resounding success. It not only provides excellent cocktail party conversation, it also inspires its readers to consider how they approach conflict, how they think about concepts like memory and productivity, how they stimulate creativity, and how they perceive other people. These are all necessary questions to us as human beings and Brain Briefs is an excellent primer.

This book nurtures the very curiosity that might lead someone to pick it up in the first place. And unlike many authors who seek to inform the average reader about psychological principles, Markman and Duke do not devote the bulk of their time to correcting misinformation. Rather they provide accurate, updated explanations of contemporary psychology and foster excitement rather than criticizing outdated or overly popularized ideas. Moreover, they empower their readers to continue their investigations with a diverse but not overwhelming list of references.

In short, Brain Briefs should appeal to anyone with a passing interest in psychology and cognitive science. The wit and wry humor of its two authors provides an appealing introduction to the field and more than a little fodder for personal and social contemplation of the ideas explained within. It is a quick, easy read.

Brain Briefs: Answers to the Most (and Least) Pressing Questions about Your Mind
Art Markman and Bob Duke
Sterling Publishing, October 2016
Hardcover, 278 pages
$19.95

ADHD is not as it sounds — an attention deficit disorder.

According to the authors of Transforming ADHD: Simple, Effective Attention & Action Regulation Skills To Help You Focus & Succeed, Greg Crosby, MA, LPC, and Tonya K. Lippert, PhD, ADHD is a difficulty regulating and adjusting attention to fit the situation you are in.

Guided by the interdisciplinary approach known as interpersonal neurobiology, Crosby and Lippert show that ADHD is about much more than simply learning to pay attention. It is about successfully navigating and recognizing the external and internal environments that influence attention.

“The biggest confusion about ADHD seems to stem from its reference to a ‘deficit.’ As ADHD scholar Hallowell and Ratey (2005) said to refer to an attention deficit when speaking of the experience of ADHD ‘completely misses the point’,” write Crosby and Lippert.

According to the authors, attention is biased — that is, it moves toward some things and away from others. For those with ADHD, it’s not that attention itself but the flexibility or control of attention that is lacking. The result of this low attention regulation, is not just over-focusing and under-focusing; it also effects how we sustain effort and manage emotions.

One biochemical reason people with ADHD may have difficulty paying attention to what is not exciting is because they have lower levels of dopamine. Low dopamine function in turn leads to behaviors that seek to compensate for dopamine deficiency.

Crosby and Lippert offer helpful tips for those with ADHD to learn to place their attention where they want. Learning what they call the four S’s of attention – starting, sustaining, stopping, and shifting – can be helpful. Next, by paying attention to what activities attract and detract attention, and pairing activities of low interest with those of high interest, those with ADHD can practice sustaining attention when it might otherwise wander.

A person’s environment can also have a significant impact on his or her ability to pay attention, according to the authors. They write that part of becoming successful with ADHD involves designing your environment for optimal attention and action regulation.

“When it comes to long-term goals, (designing your exterior environment to work with your interior environment) means introducing representations of your desired future into your present by, for example, taping pictures of your desired home on your computer screen if your impulsive purchases occur online,” write Crosby and Lippert.

They also offer some other examples of environmental design such as closing yourself into a room where you are less accessible to the dog, wearing headphones, working away from home or taping an assignment list to the side of your computer monitor.

Another practice, which Crosby and Lippert call Introduce Results of Tomorrow Today (IRTT) helps those with ADHD overcome urges that draw attention away from the long term results they want.

Crosby and Lippert tell the story of Zelda, who had tried and failed to quit cigarettes many times. It wasn’t until she made a pact with a close friend that if she smoked she’d have to give $5000 to the KKK that Zelda was able to quite for good. This practice is a powerful way to maintain personal accountability, and also to learn that with a little effort, it is possible to design an environment that improves attention and action regulation.

Those with ADHD can also adopt healthy behavior to change not just attention and action regulation, but the gene expression related to them – which is called epigenetics. Crosby and Lippert cite one study where exercise was shown to affect the gene expression within cells throughout the body – brain, heart, bone, muscle, mouth and fat – including directly altering fat formation. One helpful brain exercise the authors recommend: Replace multi-tasking with mindful-tasking.

Understanding relationships and the neurobiology between them is also important in managing ADHD. One important reason, the authors write, is that people with ADHD have higher rates of insecure attachment as children, which predisposes them to poor self-regulation.

While we can’t rewrite our childhoods, what we can do is better understand our attachment patterns (for which the authors offer a helpful quiz) and then shift to security through reflecting on our childhood and practicing mindfulness.

Learning to communicate more effectively is also fundamental for people with ADHD. The authors suggest practicing mindful listening, paraphrasing, and what they call “urge surfing” or learning to notice — but not respond to — urges within a conversation.

“When you surf an urge, including the urge to interrupt, you notice the urge without acting on it. It’s an action regulation skill — a way to stop an action,” they write.

Packed with useful and effective exercises, Transforming ADHD offers a fresh and insightful look at ADHD – and one that might just change your life.

Transforming ADHD: Simple, Effective Attention & Action Regulation Skills To Help You Focus & Succeed
Greg Crosby, MA, LPC
Tonya K. Lippert, PhD
New Harbinger Publications (January 2017)
Softcover, 156 Pages
$16.95

Jokes are supposed to be funny—they’re meant to tickle us, and make us smirk and giggle. They shouldn’t be overtly offensive or demean a subsection of society, be it women, homosexuals, or any other group. Homophobic or sexist jokes may seem like “no big deal” on the surface but their underlying message is ultimately very damaging, whether or not that’s their intention. So, why do some people think nothing of telling off-color jokes?

Well, according to a recent study, “Restoring Threatened Masculinity: The Appeal of Sexist and Anti-Gay Humor,” there’s a genuine reason that some guys resort to this type of humor. It has everything to do with how they perceive themselves.

The research, from Western Carolina University, surveyed 387 straight men to determine their personalities, social views, and the type of humor that they preferred. The results suggest that there is an underlying reason that many men turn to anti-gay or sexist jokes. That is that men tended to use these harmful comments as a defense mechanism when they felt that their masculinity was being threatened in some way.

“Men higher in precarious manhood beliefs expressed amusement with sexist and anti-gay humor in response to a masculinity threat because they believe it reaffirms an accurate, more masculine impression of them,” explains Emma O’Connor, of the Western Carolina University, who led the study. “It appears that by showing amusement with sexist and anti-gay humor, such men can distance themselves from the traits they want to disconfirm.”

In plain English: When some men feel that they are not living up to the norms that are generally associated with masculinity, they may well indulge in these jokes. By mocking a particular group—be it women, gay people, immigrants, or the disabled—they are asserting themselves as “different” or “other.” When they laugh at the expense of these groups, what they are really trying to convey is that they share no common ground with them. They are asserting their identity—male and straight.

But wait, why would people use jokes to do this? It’s pretty simple: The major characteristic that sets humor apart from other types of communication is that you can “get away with” more when you say things in the form of a joke. “Given the social protection afforded to humor as a medium for communicating disparagement, it is possible that men use sexist humor in the workplace as a ‘safe’ way to reaffirm their threatened masculinity,” explains O’Connor.

In the workplace, these comments and jokes can often constitute harassment, which is why they need to be prevented. For example, sexist jokes about women can be used to undermine females in a professional setting. O’Connor also noted that managers and bosses have a duty to keep a close eye on what happens within their work. It is also hoped that further research into the use of this detrimental humor will help to prevent it.

If you’ve been affected by sexual harassment in the workplace, please visit the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, where there’s a wealth of information and helpful resources.

And on a lighter note, if you’re a fan of humor, we’re pretty sure you’ll find these clean jokes not at all offensive—and pretty hilarious too.

More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Two summers ago, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for four minutes. (Don’t miss these touching stories on how 28 real-life couples fell in love.) 

Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man and I were hanging out for the first time one-on-one. He was a university acquaintance I occasionally ran into at the climbing gym and had thought, What if? We were nursing our first beers when our conversation took an unexpected turn, and he said, “I suspect, given a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you choose someone?”

“Actually, psychologists have tried making people fall in love,” I said, remembering Dr. Aron’s study.

I explained the study to my friend. A man and a woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face-to-face and ask each other a series of increasingly personal questions. Then they stare silently into each other’s eyes for exactly four minutes. Six months later, the two were married. 

“Let’s try it,” he said.

Let me acknowledge that, first, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening.

I Googled Dr. Aron’s questions; there were 36, which you can check out here. We spent the next two hours passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question. They began innocuously: “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” And “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”

But they quickly became probing.

In response to the prompt “Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common,” he looked at me and said, “I think we’re both interested in each other.”

I grinned and gulped my beer as he listed two more commonalities I then promptly forgot. We exchanged stories about the last time we’d each cried and confessed the one thing we’d like to ask a fortune-teller. We explained our relationships with our mothers. I liked learning about myself through my answers, but I liked learning things about him even more. 

We all have a narrative of ourselves that we offer up to strangers and acquaintances, but Dr. Aron’s questions make it impossible to rely on that narrative. The moments I found most uncomfortable were not when I had to make confessions about myself but when I had to venture opinions about my partner. For example: “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know why we don’t thoughtfully compliment one another all the time.

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We finished at midnight, taking far longer than the 90 minutes for the original study. Looking around the bar, I felt as if I had just woken up. “That wasn’t so bad,” I said. “Definitely less uncomfortable than the staring into each other’s eyes part would be.”

He hesitated and asked, “Do you think we should do that too?”

“Here?” I looked around the bar. It seemed too weird, too public.

“We could stand on the bridge,” he said, turning toward the window.

The night was warm. We walked to the highest point, then turned to face each other. I fumbled with my phone as I set the timer.

“OK,” I said, inhaling sharply.

“OK,” he said, smiling.

I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life. I spent a couple of minutes just trying to breathe properly. Eventually, we settled in.

I know the eyes are the windows to the soul, but the real crux of the moment was not just that I was really seeing someone but that I was seeing someone really seeing me. Once the terror subsided, I arrived somewhere unexpected.

I felt brave and in a state of wonder. Part of that wonder was at my own vulnerability, and part was the weird kind of wonder you get from saying a word over and over until it loses its meaning and becomes what it actually is: an assemblage of sounds.

So it was with the eye. The sentiment associated with that clump of nerves fell away, and I was struck by its astounding biological reality: the spherical nature of the eyeball, the visible musculature of the iris, and the smooth wet glass of the cornea. It was strange and exquisite.

When the timer buzzed, I was surprised—and a little relieved.

Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. But this study assumes that love is an action, that what matters to my partner matters to me because we have at least three things in common, because we have close relationships with our mothers, and because he let me look at him.

It’s true you can’t choose who loves you, and you can’t create romantic feelings based on convenience alone. Science tells us our pheromones and hormones do a lot of the work.

But despite this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible—simple, even—to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.

You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. We did. Although it’s hard to credit the study entirely, it did give us a way into a relationship that feels deliberate. We spent weeks in the intimate space we’d created that night, waiting to see what it could become.

Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.

I believed that if I ate a watermelon seed, a watermelon would grow in my stomach. –Michelle Bradbury

When Beverley Sewell, 54, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in April 2014, she was determined to get rid of it for good. Even though her tumor had been caught early, Beverly, 54, a British call center adviser from Cornwall, opted for a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy—and agreed to join a clinical trial.

Her oncologist explained the trial carefully. Participants were selected at random to receive one of two treatments being compared in the trial. Beverley received the standard amount of six chemotherapy treatments but the last three included infusions with a new combination of the drugs Herceptin and Pertuzumab that previous trials had suggested would target Beverley’s tumor cells more effectively. The drugs were safe; she wouldn’t be a guinea pig. There would be regular check-ups and tests, and if she had any side effects or concerns, she could call the hospital 24/7. Doctors would continue to monitor her for ten years.

“I felt honored to be asked,” says Beverley, now cancer-free and feeling great.  “First of all, I knew they were going to take great care of me. But most important of all I felt I could be part of something that could cure cancer and help stop other people suffering in the future.”

Beverley Sewell joined one of the estimated 10,000 clinical trials currently taking place in Europe. About a quarter are multinational studies, which, because they benefit from a larger pool of participants, can enable the trials to be completed more quickly and result in promising treatments being licensed for use more swiftly. All are aimed at finding new and improved ways of treating, diagnosing and preventing disease.

Explains Dr. Fergus Sweeney, “It’s important we understand how medicines work: Do they have the beneficial effects we’re trying to achieve, and what risks come with that.” Sweeney is head of inspections and human medicines pharmacovigilance at the European Medicines Agency (EMA), which is in charge of the evaluation and supervision of medicines in the EU. “‘This can only be demonstrated in an objective way by running well designed clinical trials.”

Here’s what you need to know before joining one:

How do I find a clinical trial?

If you have a particular condition, your doctor may suggest a suitable trial. Contacting a patients’ association or searching an online database are other avenues to explore. The EU Clinical Trials Register (clinicaltrialsregister.eu) contains details of all trials authorized to take place in the European Economic Area (EEA), while clinicaltrials.gov, run by the U.S. National Institutes of Health, lists trials in the US and 190 other countries.

You will only be accepted if you meet a trial’s strict eligibility criteria. Always talk to the doctor in charge of your treatment before you take part.

How do I know it’s safe?

“In Europe, before a clinical trial can commence, it needs two authorizations, one by the ethics committee—an independent body consisting of medical doctors, lawyers and experts in pharmacology—and one by a competent national authority,” explains Dr. Thomas Sudhop, head of scientific services at the German competent authority, the Federal Institute for Drugs and Medical Devices.

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Trials are carefully designed, based on previous research in the lab, on animals and other patients. They are also closely monitored. Says Sweeney, “The system is robust and increasingly reinforced to bring risks to a minimum.” But it’s still a new treatment, so, as Sudhop points out, “it’s not completely risk-free.”

That became clear during a trial at Northwick Park Hospital, London, in 2006, when six young men almost died after receiving a drug being tested on humans for the first time. Since then the guidelines on first-in-human-trials have been tightened.  Such severe safety incidents in phase 1 trials are extremely rare.

What will I be told?

You should receive detailed written information. “You should be given time for you and your family to read this carefully, and have the chance to ask questions,” says Dr. John McMurray, professor of medical cardiology at the University of Glasgow. He led the international trial of a new treatment for heart failure that was stopped early because of “overwhelming benefit”—cardiovascular deaths were cut by a fifth. “Only if you are comfortable with this information should you sign the consent form.”

You need to be clear on what treatments are being tested and how. Will there be many hospital visits, tests, onerous questionnaires? How far you will have to travel, and will it fit in with work or other commitments? What are the potential benefits and side effects? Has the treatment been used safely in any other trials? You have every right to leave a trial, but, as Sweeney cautions, “You shouldn’t stop tablets overnight—consult with your doctor first.”

Ultimately, you need to trust the doctor conducting the study. “You should have a good feeling,” emphasizes Sudhop.

What are the benefits?

“For the patient a clinical trial is a chance to get a medicinal product which is currently not available,” says Sudhop. However, as trials often compare the therapy with the best available or standard treatment and randomly select which patients receive which treatment, you may not get the new treatment. Even if you do, it may not make you better. Or if it does help, you may not be able to continue with it after the trial ends.

But one thing is certain: you will receive extra care and attention. “Studies indicate that a patient in a clinical trial tends to do better compared to an equal patient outside a clinical trial,” says Sweeney.

You will be making a valuable contribution to research. “Hopefully, you will help future patients with the same medical problem as the one you have,“ says McMurray.

“If we want new medicines for ourselves, our family or our children, then it’s necessary to carry out clinical trials,” Sweeney points out. “We have to be open and willing to participate.”

Beverley Sewell agrees. “Go for it,” she urges. “Don’t be afraid of it. You will be monitored very carefully.  I have every confidence in the trial drugs and feel very positive for the future.”

In today’s lightning-fast tech-times, your brand-new device is practically obsolete before you finish removing the packaging. That speed of turnover makes for mountains “outdated” components collecting dust in your drawers and closets. And as you likely already know, you can’t just throw them away.

According to the EPA, improperly discarded electronic waste is one of the biggest environmental offenders, making up more than 2 million tons of our total waste. In 2014 alone, people got rid of some 41.8 million tons of e-waste, according to a United Nations report, and only 10 to 40 percent of it was discarded properly.

That’s a big problem, not just for landfills. “The metals and elements found in old TVs and computers, such as lead, mercury, and chromium, are toxic and harmful to the environment,”says Gene Richardson, COO of Experts Exchange, an online community for IT professionals. “The chemical flame retardants that many of these devices are treated with can also have toxic affects, potentially leaching into the soil and groundwater,” he adds.

Electronic items considered hazardous include televisions and computer monitors that contain cathode ray tubes, LCD desktop monitors, LCD televisions, plasma televisions, portable DVD players with LCD screens, and more.

What’s more, a lot of e-waste is actually recyclable, and not recycling it only leads to more production of products that ultimately harm the environment. Did you know that it takes 530 pounds of fossil fuel, for example, along with 48 pounds of chemicals, and 1.5 tons of water to manufacture one computer and monitor?

On the flip side, recycling saves resources all around: For every 1 million cell phones that are recycled, 35,274 pounds of copper, 772 pounds of silver, 75 pounds of gold, and 33 pounds of palladium can be recovered, and recycling 1 million laptops saves the energy equivalent to the electricity used by 3,657 U.S. homes in a year.

Electronic components from batteries, phones, televisions, and even a child’s old talking pet toy and e-learner can be recycled. And according to Richardson, there are many environmental agencies that offer e-waste recycling services. “Be sure to ask the agency nearest to you where the devices are being deposited and which drop-off locations are trusted, as there have been reports of companies shipping unwanted waste to places like Pakistan and China, causing further issues for those countries.”

As for how to recycle each type of device, there are many options:

Donate your old tech devices

If it’s still functioning, many charities will accept older devices for people in need. If local senior centers or recreation centers aren’t interested, try reaching out to these organizations:

• Dell Reconnect, a partner of Goodwill, takes your old computers and computer accessories. Drop them off at participating Goodwill locations (check the site for ones near you).
• American Cell Phone Drive accepts cell phones to resell or recycle—and the profits go to support several good causes.
• The World Computer Exchange will refurbish computers and other tech devices to forward to people in developing countries.

Recycle your old tech devices

Many retailers have convenient drop-off bins for your old phones and other electronics. For additional recycling locations, you can search for local programs on website of the Environmental Protection Agency.

• Staples and Best Buy both offer a free, responsible e-recycling program for a wide range of electronics, according to Richardson, and may even offer a trade-in value for newer products. Most Walmarts and Whole Foods stores typically have a drop-off kiosk for old cell phones.
• For old phones, Sprint’s Buyback program offers a credit for mobile phones—check the manufacturer websites.
• Amazon will actually issue an Amazon gift card for your old electronics, not to mention CDs and video games.
• For rechargeable batteries and mobile phones, there are drop-off bins nationwide run by the nonprofit organization Call2Recycle (enter your ZIP code to find drop-off locations nearest you).
• Contact your township municipal offices for electronics recycling days. You’ll find events by state at TIA E-cycling Central.

Still have questions? Here’s how to recycle just about anything.

You might still be wiping away the tears after hearing about the 3-foot-long, 10-month old bunny that passed away in cargo, while waiting for a connecting United Airlines flight in Chicago. Even if you opt for a pup or a kitty instead of an over-sized bunny rabbit, any pet owner can relate to the sheer terrifying thought that your precious furry companion could perish while traveling.

The cause of this bunny’s tragic end is still unknown, but travel agent, Greg Antonelle explains the threat: “There are a variety of theories on what may cause a pet to die while in cargo on a plane, but certainly the extreme temperatures, fluctuation in air pressure, and excessive noise would seem to play a part,” he says. (Here’s what you need to know if you’re on a overbooked flight.)

Though very sad for all involved, it is rare that pets pass away on planes. In 2014, for example, there were only 17 reported pet deaths, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation. However, before you decide to pack up Lucky or Snowball for a trip cross-country, there are some things to keep in mind when packing up a pet:

Cargo or Carry-On?

What part of the plane your pet travels on depends largely on their size and weight. As Antonelle explains, if your cat or dog can fit underneath the seat in front of you, then they can count as your carry-on and be by your side from takeoff to landing. (Check with your airline regarding exact weight restrictions.) However, larger pets, like bigger dogs, or say, a huge bunny, are put in cages or crates in cargo, where checked luggage is stored. It’s also important to note that there’s always a fee associated with bringing a pet with you, which varies by airline, with a rough estimate of $150 each way. The only exception to the rule? Service animals.

If You Have a Service Animal…

“Over the last couple of years, there has been an increasing number of passengers who have requested to take their ’emotional support’ animals in the cabin with them. (To receive the ‘doctor’s note’ out of cargo, animals must be trained as an emotional support pet, gaining a certificate that could be required upon check-in.) These pets have ranged from dogs to cats to pigs to little primates, Antonelle says. Being in the cabin with you calms not only your nerves, it also calms your pets. “Being in the cabin with its owner allows the pet a bit more security and eases some of the nerves of the pet compared to being stored in cargo.” (Psst: if you try and get one of these bad boys off the Internet, it’s important to note that if you’re caught and prosecuted, it’s considered a felony offense in the United States.)

Certain Pets Shouldn’t Fly

Have a bulldog, a pug, or another snub-nosed pup? Or a Himalayan cat? Antonelle says it’s not recommended to bring these onboard, due to their medical history and risks. “These breeds should not fly on planes due to their known propensity for respiratory issues. Many airlines now restrict these animals from flights,” he notes. And, it goes without saying, that if your pet is older or has health issues, chances are, its better off at home.

Bottom Line: Leave Them At Home

Unless you absolutely have to travel with your pet, say for a long visit to grandma’s and you don’t want to board them, Antonelle says it’s better for the animal to stay put. “If your only choice is to put the pet on the plane, then fine, but if you’re merely going on vacation and want your pet with you, it’s probably best to have a friend or family member watch the pet and not have to worry about it surviving a flight,” he says. “If you must take your pet on a flight, it is recommended to book a direct flight. The minimal amount of time the pet is in the cabin or cargo area reduces any risk of death or injury. Likewise, it’s always recommended to have your pet examined by your vet so they can ensure that the pet is fit to fly.”

Forget about the stereotypical image of a doughnut-eating cop; in the Motor City it has become totally outdated, thanks to the 61-Day Challenge, a partnership between the Detroit Medical Center (DMC) and the Detroit Police Department (DPD).

James E. Craig, Chief of Police for the Detroit Police Officer, who believes physically fit officers are better equipped to perform their duties and keep their communities safe, implemented the program—with cadets given health and fitness benchmarks that they must reach and maintain—to keep the force held to high standards. In its fifth year, the campaign focuses on “fitness, nutrition, health education, and commitment to living a healthier life.”

Every year, participants challenge each other to lose weight, lower blood pressure, and increase their overall health. The program provides health screenings and educational sessions that have helped hundreds of police officers drop thousands of pounds. The program doubles as a way to raise awareness to obesity while also giving police officers a chance to better serve and protect their community. (In Michigan alone, an estimated 30.7 percent of adults were classified as obese, and another 34.9 percent were classified as overweight.) Raising awareness to the problem and providing a solution, Detroit Medical Center (DMC) has been teaming up with the Detroit Police Department (DPD) to get law enforcement fit and healthy for the job since 2012.

“Over the years, this program has delivered stellar results!” says Chief Craig, who notes that, along with officers losing thousands of pounds, they’ve also been able to forgo medications for conditions like diabetes and high blood pressure. (Don’t miss these incredible weight-loss transformations.) Some of the participants were even able to find serious health-related issues thanks to the complimentary screenings provided by DMC.

It’s not just physical

In addition to physical health, the program also addresses mental health. “Officers need to have a clear mind in order to perform at the highest level and physical fitness is a great way to alleviate the stresses that come with the job. This profession produces an extreme amount of stress and if the officers don’t use a positive refuge like exercise, it is easy for them to turn to reckless habits as coping mechanisms,” says Chief Craig.

The challenge has raised officer morale, too. “When officer morale is high, productivity increases. The DMC challenge and the pledge DPD takes not only makes law enforcement more physically capable to protect and serve, but also works to improve their mental state of health,” says Chief Craig. As a result, the community is stronger as a whole.

Chief Craig says he “borrowed” the idea from his good friend, Reginald Eadie, MD, regional COO at Detroit Medical Center and author of the program. “His approach to a community focused health and wellness program inspired me to take it back to my department and from there, the partnership was born.”

As part of the partnership, DMC physicians to speak to the officers and staff about various health condition and community outreach nurses conduct health screenings at the precincts. at both our headquarters and precincts.

DMC 61 Day Challenge creator, Dr. Eadie, explains, “The DMC’s 61 Day Challenge was created to serve as a resource for individuals and groups, like the Detroit Police Department, who are looking for guidance in support of their wellness activities. Partnering with the Detroit Police Department fulfills our mission of helping people live happier and healthier lives. It’s our honor to support the men and women who protect our communities.”

Among the most emotionally fraught issues of our time is the question of who gets in — and who should get in — to the most selective colleges in the nation.

High-profile scholars, educators, and pundits stake out positions in books and screeds. Passionate opinion pieces abound. Legal cases make their way all the way up to the Supreme Court, only to be complicated by subsequent rulings that still have not resulted in total clarity.

What the endless debate about fairness in college admissions needs is a wise, thoughtful, informed, and far-ranging consideration of the issues and rigorous data to support the conclusions. That’s what Emeritus Professor Rebecca Zwick offers in Who Gets In? Strategies for Fair and Effective College Admissions.

I think this book will be immediately regarded as the definitive source on fairness in college admissions, and I expect it to be the gold standard for years to come.

If you were to ask people at random who they think should get into the best colleges and universities, some would say that the answer is obvious: The students with the best records should get in.

From that perspective, getting admitted to a great college is a reward for past performance. That’s not as straightforward as it seems, because what counts as a measure of performance is controversial. Is it grades? Scores on tests such as the SAT or ACT? Letters of recommendation? Evidence of grit?

The goal of rewarding past performance is only one of the five major goals of college admissions that Zwick identifies. Alternatively, schools may want to identify the most talented students – even if their performance on traditional measures is not superb – and nurture them.

Alternately, educational institutions may have the explicit goal of expanding college access to a wider range of people and increasing social mobility. They could also aspire to an admissions policy that maximizes the benefit to society. Or they could simply try to fulfill their own institutional needs. If, Zwick writes, for example, “the school needs more players for the lacrosse team or more oboists for the orchestra,” then those applicants could receive preferential consideration over applicants who do not fill those needs.

Another fundamental question with a non-obvious answer is: How do we know whether an admissions policy wound up being fair (ethical and just) and effective (it achieved what it intended to achieve)?

Should we look at how well the students do in college – as indicated, for example, by their GPA or their rates of graduating? Should we look farther into the future and see how they do in the job market, or whether they turn out to be good citizens? Or is a fair policy one that admits the most diverse class, including students from under-represented minorities as well as low-income or low socioeconomic status students?

The issue of diversity is perhaps the most contentious one in college admissions. Even among those who accept that diversity is an important goal, there is disagreement about how best to achieve it.

For example, there are those who believe that SAT scores measure little more than parents’ wealth, and should therefore be excluded from admissions criteria. Some believe that a good alternative is a percent plan, in which (for example) the top ten percent of students in every high school are automatically granted admission to one of the state universities, as long as they have taken the requisite courses.

Another solution that has been proposed repeatedly over the years is a lottery; establish some minimum qualification – such as a threshold GPA, SAT or ACT score – then choose at random from all the applicants who qualify.

Others suggest that qualities that go beyond grades and test scores should matter. For example, do the applicants show a capacity to overcome adversity? Are they well-rounded? Do they contribute significantly to their communities?

In separate chapters, Rebecca Zwick considers all of these claims and counter-claims and proposals for making college admissions fair and effective – plus a few more.

Zwick has been an eminent educational psychologist for decades, so she has a wide and deep knowledge of the arguments and the results of the relevant studies. She also has something else that adds a unique strength to her conclusions: Access to an impressive trove of data.

The Educational Longitudinal Study includes records from 13,000 high school students who have been followed from the time when they were in high school through graduation in 2004, on to their college careers and achievements beyond college.

Data include their test scores, grades in high school and college, demographic characteristics, and the colleges where they applied and were accepted. Using those data, Professor Zwick was able to provide a new test of many of the proposed admissions policies.

The final chapter ends with seven key principles that should guide the development of admissions policies. Here are excerpts from the last three principles:

• “High school grades should continue to play a key role in admissions, particularly because of their apparent value in measuring students’ tenacity and commitment. Test scores can be useful in identifying talented students who have so far been unsuccessful in school…”
• “Nontraditional admissions criteria and holistic evaluations are not always helpful to those they are intended to support. The less clear the admissions criteria, the more likely they are to benefit the wealthier, more savvy candidates.”
• “Admissions policies should be transparent. Applicants are entitled to know the rules of the game so they can make their best case for admission.”

Professor Zwick has worked for many years at the Educational Testing Service (ETS), but that doesn’t mean that she is an apologist for tests such as the SAT or ACT.

“Asking whether standardized tests are good is much like asking whether cars are good. If they’re constructed well and used intelligently, they can be very valuable. Some are just plain bad. Even good ones can be harmful if misused. None are perfectly reliable,” writes Zwick.

If you read Who Gets In?, I promise you this: You will be surprised. You will be enlightened. You will think about college admissions in ways you never expected.

I have followed the college admissions debates informally for a long time. I thought I knew who was right and who was wrong. I thought I knew what the best studies would show. I was wrong.

As Professor Zwick notes, getting a college education matters. It matters for job prospects, job satisfaction, and pay; for health and well-being; for involvement in civic affairs, and more. So when it comes to college admissions, we need to get it right.

Who Gets In? Strategies for Fair and Effective College Admissions
Rebecca Zwick
Harvard University Press, May 2017
Hardcover, 261 pages
$35

For caucasians, it’s wrinkles and age spots

“My caucasian patients tend to commonly present in their early 30s with wrinkles—particularly around the eyes or glabella (between the eyebrows),” says board certified dermatologist Manjula Jegasothy, MD, founder of Miami Skin Institute, who has been treating ethnically diverse patients for 20 years. “This is easily treated with Botox in the 30s and early 40s.” She also suggests adding light radiofrequency treatments in the mid to late 40s to help with thin skin laxity in the upper face. Sun damage—resulting in brown spots and blotchiness—is another common complaint. She suggests getting a jump start in the early 20s and 30s with pyruvic, salicylic, and glycolic acid peels. Try: Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare Alpha Beta Universal Daily Peel and BeautyRx by Dr. Schultz Advanced 10% Exfoliating Pads. Patients in their late 30s and older—and those with more severe damage—should consider in-office IPL photofacials. This is how your skin ages through every decade of your life.

Post workout shirtless pictures

We get it! You go to the gym. Believe it or not, we can tell by looking at a photo of you with a shirt on. Only post about the gym when you lift a personal record or finally reach your goal weight. It’s nice to celebrate with you and throw you a like for your accomplishments. But try to wear clothes. The horrible fluoresce lighting at the gym isn’t helping to cover up your pettiness. Make sure to avoid these other post-gym mistakes.

I’m looking at the big picture

Keeping perspective on my impending wedding may be easier for me since I live with chronic migraines, so one of my biggest hopes is just to be healthy that day. It doesn’t seem like much to ask, right? With that being my main goal, it’s easier for me to let go of all of these other expectations surrounding this very big, expensive party that cements the commitment my fiancé and I have already made to one another (and our rescue dog). Everyone will tell you the same thing: The day is going to go by so fast that you won’t even know what hit you until it’s over, and the last thing you want to do is spend it worrying about who’s critiquing the vases you chose or whether you shouldn’t have seated Aunt Sally next to Uncle Ben, and whether everyone is having a good time. This really is your day—the two of you—so promise yourself that you will keep your eyes on that prize.

Do consider a vow renewal if you want to honor a special time in your marriage

Maybe your marriage has survived some challenges and you’ve come out on the other side a stronger couple. Or perhaps you had a small wedding and never got the opportunity to celebrate with your family and friends. Or maybe you want those closest to you to share in the joy of having made it 10 years, 25 years, 50 years or more. Whatever the window, a vow renewal reaffirms your commitment to one another. Chicago-based event planner, founder and creative director, Sharon Ringier of Sharon Ringier Events, has planned vow renewals for both clients and herself. When planning her own renewal, she chose her wedding anniversary as a hallmark moment in her and her husband’s marriage. “Fast forward to our 20th anniversary—it was a milestone year,” she says, “one that many didn’t think we’d make it to, but we did! So, we went to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico, and renewed our vows on the beach.”

Rail love

There’s something magical about riding trains and experiencing the mountains, prairies, deserts, even the big cities, from the comfort of a railcar. It’s no wonder Americans have a love affair with train travel.

Whether you have a few hours or more than a week, you can explore much of the United States by train. Here are a few of our top picks to help you respond to the siren call of the rails:

How to determine your skin tone

Skin shades are typically broken down by fair, medium, olive, and deep; the key part is to determine whether your undertone is warm or cool. “This will make everything from finding a foundation to your lipstick so much easier,” says Alex LaMarsh, a celebrity makeup artist, who has painted the pout of Kim Kardashian and Cher. Finding your own skin undertone is fairly simple. Most people just use the tried-and-true vein trick. “Look at the underside of your wrist in daylight, or bright light. If your veins look blue or purple, you have cool undertones. If they look green, you have warm undertones.” When it comes to selecting a color, Nick Barose, a celebrity makeup artist, who has worked with Lupita Nyong’o and Gugu Mbatha-Raw, says it’s more accurate to pick lipstick in natural light, so you see the true shades. “As a general rule, the lighter the skin, the more color it shows. So the shade will look truer and bolder on your lips than in the tube, whereas darker skin adds more depth to the color.” No matter your skin tone, these are the lipstick shades every woman needs in her beauty arsenal.

Who wouldn’t love a stress proof brain? The title of this book, The Stress-Proof Brain, is enough to intrigue anyone going through a stressful time.

Melanie Greenberg provides background on how our brains respond to stress and how that response is what determines how we feel. Depending on the situation, our amygdala releases hormones and neurotransmitters that prepare people to either fight or flee.

In the short-term, this can be a good thing; it can energize people and help overcome obstacles. But when this response is continual rather than in response to a genuine threat, it becomes a problem. The good news is that people have the ability to change their response to stressful situations.

Greenberg writes that unmanaged stress has a significant negative impact on health. As people have continual surges of epinephrine, they are also more inclined to have cardiovascular disease, even heart attack. If cortisol is around too long, it can lead to infection, which explains why people who are continually stressed are sick frequently.

While many things in life can’t be controlled, what we can control is our interpretation of what is happening. Part of coping well through changes is having a positive core identity, which means seeing oneself as valuable regardless of negative life circumstances, such as losing a job or going through a divorce.

After a major loss, even minor things can feel overwhelming because there are not enough cognitive resources available to cope. But there is hope for people who feel overwhelmed by the stress.

Greenberg writes about an approach to calming the amygdala, which involves mindfulness and learning how to stay grounded in the present in order to switch out of an overactive state.

By practicing mindfulness, people can slow down their emotions enough so the prefrontal cortex – the CEO of our brains – has time to respond. Rather than being reactive, the prefrontal cortex directs a healthy response to a stressful issue.

One healthy technique involves learning how to slow down breathing, which sends a signal to the amygdala that the perceived threat is over, and that the amygdala can calm down. The practice of simply being present can also help, because it keeps people from worrying about the past or the future, instead focusing on what is happening right now.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be a complicated process, and it’s something that anyone can do, at anytime. For example, you can practice mindfulness by simply noticing the colors and shapes of items in a room.

So if the response to stress is so bad for the brain and body, wouldn’t it be better to just ignore it? Greenberg says “no.”

Ignoring uncomfortable emotions only exacerbates the problem. Stressful emotions provide information to help people reach goals and reminds them to re-focus. As people begin to learn basic techniques such as feeling grounded in the current situation, they become better able to deal with their emotions without becoming so overwhelmed by them.

Emotions are something everyone experiences and processing them is a part of life. As difficult as it may be, the consequences of suppressing emotions are much worse than doing the processing.

To learn how to not be completely driven by our emotions, we can learn to observe them with a mindset of curiosity and openness, rather than an attitude of judgment. Exercises like writing can help people learn to observe, because the act of writing brings clarity about what’s happening, and can help people see where behavior change is needed.

It may feel overwhelming to change how one thinks in all aspects of life, but it may help to start with just one area. When a person manages stress in one area, they will gain stress-management skills to apply in other areas of life as well.

Working towards a Stress-Proof Brain starts with self-compassion.

For many people, there are things they would never criticize in another person that they criticize in themselves. But self-criticism only leads to more stress.

When there are multiple stressors, and not enough time for recovery, the response to stress will continue to be negative. So it’s important to take time to rest when needed and especially after dealing with a major stressor.

When people are stressed, they tend to narrow their focus and it is this tunnel vision that makes people more inclined to overreact, so it’s important for people to watch for their personal triggers. For example, if watching the evening news is a trigger that results in worry or rumination, people need to be intentional about finding another evening activity rather than watching the news.

Short term acute stressors become chronic problems when the brain and body do not get the needed rest. These stress layers pile on top of each other, so that short-term stressors can become chronic conditions. But over time, people can learn new responses and yes, even people who are extremely negative can learn to create positive states of mind.

Chronic stress can result in inflammation, which contributes to depression, heart disease, and even cancer. Using techniques such as those mentioned above, eating healthier, getting exercise and learning other ways to relax can help people keep stress under control.

The Stress-Proof Brain is suitable for all audiences. Greenberg does a good job of explaining the brain chemistry without it becoming overwhelming for someone who do not have a neuroscience background. She makes a great case for taking stress seriously without using unnecessary scare tactics.

Throughout the book, she provides exercises for people to practice and offers additional resources at the end for people who want to explore further. Since mindfulness is a big part of her treatment for whole person healing, I especially recommend this this book to people who already value the practice of mindfulness.

The Stress-Proof Brain: Master Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness & Neuroplasticity

New Harbinger Publications, February 2017

Paperback, 232 pages

$16.96

Ring of good deeds

As Sarah Darling of Kansas City, Missouri, dropped some change in a homeless man’s cup, she didn’t realize her engagement ring fell in too. When Billy Ray Harris, the man holding the cup, found the ring later, he got it appraised—and was offered $4,000 on the spot. Instead of selling it, though, he saved it for Darling, who came back the next day. To thank Harris, Darling and her husband set up a crowdfunding page to raise $1,000 for him. But donors went above and beyond, giving more than $190,000 to Harris. The money helped him make a down payment on a house and buy a car, and the media attention helped him reunite with his family, who hadn’t seen him in 16 years, according to TODAY.

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” by Lauryn Hill

“It’s the perfect song for warming up the dance floor during dinner or cocktail hour,” shares veteran wedding DJ Petey Randall of Queue DJ. “This refreshing rendition of the Frankie Valli classic adds a heavy baseline that’s great for making people feel like dancing, long before the dancing officially kicks off.”

What triggers my pain symptoms?

If your pain isn’t coming from an obvious source—a sore neck from a car accident, say, or broken leg from a skiing snafu—try pinpoint the trouble by keeping a pain journal, recommends Jeremy Allen, MD, medical director for American Family Care, Birmingham, Alabama, region. Record what you were doing and what was happening around the onset of pain. “Even things as simple as a shift in your diet, a reduction in the amount or quality of sleep you get, or amount of stress you’re under can impact your level of pain,” says Dr. Allen. Don’t wait to call a doc if you experience these pain symptoms.

The first time Brad Vaccaro, 43, participated in a mud run, he was as a spectator. His girlfriend, Danielle Irish, 32, was running a New York State Warrior Dash, a worldwide racing series in which participants brave 12 challenging obstacles, including fire, mud, rope cages, ropes and walls, over the course of 5 kilometers (3.1 miles). Although the Warrior Dash is open to everyone, from couch potatoes to novice runners to extreme athletes, Vaccaro, who has a bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science and was a personal trainer and high school sports coach for two decades as well as a gym owner, watched in awe and wondered whether he’d actually be able to do one himself. (Did you know running helps you live longer?)

It took two years before he actually gave it a try. In the interim, Vaccaro designed his own muddy obstacle course and organized his own racing event with the goal of introducing novices, including children, to the sport. That was how Your First Mud Run (the spelling—mud run vs. mudrun—seems to vary by event) came to be in 2011. Its inaugural event was held at Garrett Mountain Reservation in Woodland Park, New Jersey. Open to adults and kids ages 6 and up, it attracted 133 participants. Since then, the annual Garrett Mountain event has grown to 600 participants. In addition, Your First Mud Run holds at least nine other mud run events per year, each attracting an average of 300 participants of all ages and athletic abilities, including children in wheelchairs.

“A lot of these people would have been too afraid to try it,” Vaccaro explains, “But it shouldn’t be that way. We do everything we can to make it fun and not intimidating.” Although Vaccaro’s events also attract high-level athletes, he estimates that at least “80 percent are just there to have fun rolling around in the mud, being active, and hanging out with their friends.”

Like many mud runs, Vaccaro’s events are one and a half to two miles long with about eight obstacles or challenges, each of which offers two or three options depending on fitness level. For example, the “Sandbag Carry,” which requires participants to pick up and carry a sandbag for 200 meters or so, offers sandbags of 6, 8 and 10 pounds. According to Vaccaro, the average finishing time is 20 minutes; however participants can take as long as they need, and some take as much as 45 minutes to an hour to cross the finish line. And as you can tell from the photos, they’re loving every filthy, muddy minute.

Vaccaro says he’s “hooked” for the same reason everyone else is: “They’re super-fun, they’re great for groups, they get you outside, and they inspire you to be healthy and fit, challenging your strength and agility as well as your grit,” he says. Vaccaro’s events are designed for families and groups to participate together, for fun and for fundraising. In addition to running his own events, he races in about five other mudruns per year, including the Warrior Dash, the Spartan Race, and the Savage Race.

As far as preparing for your first mu drun goes, Vaccaro offers these mud run training tips. And don’t forget to follow up your training with these workout recovery foods.

For a directory of events in your area, check out this mud run guide.

Differin .1 Gel

“The Differin .1 Gel is a wonderful, new drugstore acne medication,” says Samer Jaber, MD of Washington Square Dermatology in New York City. “It was available by prescription for over 20 years, and was just recently approved as an over-the-counter medication. It works differently than other OTC acne medications because it’s a retinoid, has anti-inflammatory properties, and clears clogged pores to prevent new acne. It should be the first OTC product that anyone struggling with facial acne uses,” Dr. Jaber says. However, if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant you should not use Differin. Find out what your acne breakout is secretly trying to tell you.

The Twilight Zone (4 seasons)

The only genre scarier than horror is psychological thriller—and The Twilight Zone covers both. The vintage episodes may not qualify as the scariest movies of all time, but they definitely make you want to sleep with the lights on.

Create a DIY slip ‘n’ slide

While swimming pools and sprinklers are great, every kid knows that slip ‘n’ slides are where it’s at. Go low budget and use a plastic tarp, a garden hose or sprinkler, and greasy dish soap to make your slide, or use this digitalmisery.com method that utilizes pool noodles to keep the hose in place. These are the best beach games for the entire family.

Forget what you’ll pack in your checked bag. If you’re an anxious flyer, you’re far more concerned about how you’re going to make it from point A to point B without completely freaking out. Throw in a bit of rough weather and the smooth sailing you were crossing your fingers (and toes) for is suddenly out the window. Even frequent travelers can get a bit shaky when they feel turbulence while 30,000 feet up in the air. But are those bumps in your airways normal? Are they dangerous? And how do pilots know how to take control, even with planes that mostly, fly themselves? We got an expert to give us the scoop on choppy airplane rides. (Here’s how traveling in an airplane affects your body.)

What is turbulence?

Air Force Reserve pilot Richard Gonzales, an aviation consultant with Briscoe Group, says that put quite simply, turbulence is just “rough air.” The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has four levels of turbulence: light, moderate, severe, and extreme. “Light turbulence, often called light chop, feels like rhythmic bumpiness. You won’t have trouble walking around the cabin, and you can expect to see flight attendants out with the service cart. Moderate turbulence has increased bumpiness and will feel more erratic. You might also feel strain from your seat belt. Anticipating this level of turbulence, pilots will turn on the seat belt sign alerting passengers to return to their seats,” Gonzales explains. “Severe turbulence is rare and comes with short bursts of weightlessness and more strain on your seatbelt. During extreme turbulence, the rarest form of rough air, you will experience violent jolts, and objects in the cabin can get tossed around.” (Don’t miss these 13+ things your pilot won’t tell you.)

More often than not, though, Gonzales says most passengers will experience only light or moderate turbulence.

What causes turbulence?

Just like a flight can be delayed for a number of reasons, the cause of turbulence is dependent on several factors, from the temperature to the direction that air is blowing. “As the sun comes up and heats the ground, that hot air (called thermals) rises and mixes with cooler air. The two air masses mixing creates an imbalance, which results in rough air. This type of turbulence typically happens closer to the ground. If you’ve ever flown into Las Vegas or Phoenix, you might have felt a bumpy approach due to the desert ground pushing hot air upward,” Gonzales says. (Make sure you never do these 18 things on an airplane.)

Turbulence can also happen when something gets in the way of airflow. Anything from a tall building and mountains to trees can impact the way passengers feel aboard the airplane. “As air flows horizontally, anything in its way causes a disruption leading to rough air. Depending on the aircraft’s altitude, crossing the Rockies will most likely bring turbulence,” he explains.

If you’re going across the country or from one climate to another, you’re probably more likely to experience some sort of turbulence. As Gonzales notes, colliding a warm front with a cool front causes uneven air, because they both have different directions and speeds.

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Is turbulence dangerous?

More often than not, Gonzales says turbulence is super normal, and while you may be uncomfortable, you’re most likely safe. “Pilots use preflight weather briefings to detect turbulence along their route of flight. Once airborne, pilots will receive ‘ride reports’ from other aircrew who encountered rough air, so they have time to coordinate a path around the turbulence,” he explains. “In all, there’s a robust network of weather experts, air traffic controllers, and pilots working together to ensure the smoothest flight for everyone. Sometimes it’s unavoidable to fly through light and moderate turbulence, but rest assured your pilots are working to find smooth air. If they encounter severe or extreme turbulence not forecasted, pilots will quickly climb or descend to a safe and smooth altitude.”

What should you do during turbulence?

If you’re stressed while flying, whether it’s under sunny skies or in a rainstorm, Gonzales says to use body language skills to put yourself at ease. Specifically, take a look at flight attendants when turbulence is going down. He says if they’re relaxed and continuing their cart service, it’s nothing to be worried about. Another option is to take a look at the passengers in front of you: “Gauge the bobbling heads in front of you. While funny to watch, it’s also a good indicator of rough air. If the turbulence gets serious, you’ll see those passengers who didn’t fasten their seat belts come up out of their seats. In this example, expect your pilots to climb or descend and get to smoother air,” he notes.

If the ride is really rough, ease into the feeling as much as you can and keep your seatbelt on. “When you encounter rougher air, you could feel weightless (think the drop on a roller coaster) or a hard pull on your seatbelt,” he says. “Remember, pilots and flight attendants want passengers to enjoy their flight and understand the uneasiness turbulence causes.”

Bogus come-ons pop up online all the time, but there’s a world of difference between offering a free cookware set or a face lift in a bottle—and promising a “cure” for cancer.

At least according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), which has now called out the companies claiming to diagnose, treat, or even cure cancer in their ads, videos, and other marketing ploys, such as testimonials that boast miraculous outcomes. Federal investigators have spent months looking scoping out these bogus products, and have now compiled a report of 14 companies peddling fake cures, including pills, topical creams, ointments, oils, drops, syrups, teas, and diagnostic tools (such as thermography devices). They include products marketed for use by humans or pets that make illegal, unproven claims regarding preventing, reversing or curing cancer; killing or inhibiting cancer cells or tumors; or other similar anti-cancer claims.

The FDA warns that the products are a cruel deception, taking advantage of vulnerable and desperate cancer patients.

“A cancer diagnosis often provokes a sense of desperation,” physicians at the FDA wrote in a blog post. “Unfortunately, rogue operations exploiting those fears peddle untested and potentially dangerous products, particularly on the internet.” The FDA is responding by taking enforcement actions against unscrupulous companies and by educating consumers to be wary of unproven claims.

They have issued warning letters to 14 U.S.-based companies illegally selling more than 65 products. If companies do not cease hocking their wares, they “face criminal prosecution and court-ordered decrees that require them to recall products and get written permission from FDA before resuming operations.” If the violations are not corrected, companies are subject to one year in federal prison, five years’ probation and a fine of either $100,000 or twice the gain from the offense.

Along with wasting people’s money, the bigger problem with phony remedies is the detrimental effect they can have on people’s health. The products could have various known side effects, and worse, could prevent people from taking actual life-saving medications for cancer.

“These products are untested,” warned Donald D. Ashley, director of the Office of Compliance in FDA’s Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, and Douglas Stearn, director of the Office of Enforcement and Import Operations within FDA’s Office of Regulatory Affairs. “Some contain ingredients that may be a direct risk to your health. The ingredients may interact in a dangerous way with professionally prescribed treatments. They are not a substitute for appropriate treatments. Using these products can waste your money, and, more importantly, endanger your health.”

The FDA published the listing the names of firms that “exploit the fears” of vulnerable patients desperately seeking a lifeline on Monday, April 25. The companies in question now have 15 days to respond with how they plan to comply with the law, or they will be faced with the FDA’s pursuit of legal action.