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1. Luke Skywalker was almost a girl

A long time ago (January 1975, to be exact) a fledgling screenwriter named George Lucas was working on the second draft of an epic sci-fi space opera he called “Adventures of the Starkiller, Episode One: The Star Wars.”

Of the many, many problems (and one of little-known Star Wars facts) with this clunky script that would eventually become Star Wars: A New Hope, one that seemed easily fixed to Lucas was the serious lack of female characters. So, Lucas did something radical: rewrote his story’s main character, Luke Starkiller, as an 18-year-old girl. At least one concept drawing by artist Ralph McQuarrie exists of this short-lived gender swap, but a few months later, with Lucas’ next draft, Starkiller was a boy again.

Too bad…Star Wars could probably use a few more female voices. (Looking for a movie with a female lead? These movies celebrate strong women.)

RELATED: Hear from Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, and Alan Tudyk at the “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” premiere, presented by Disney and LucasFilms, at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre on Dec. 11, 2016

Courtesy: The Associated Press 360

 

2. Yoda was almost a monkey in a mask

Next time you complain about the goofy CG Yoda from the prequels, consider one of these Star Wars facts: the spiritual center of the Jedi order was almost a real-life monkey in a green mask carrying a cane.

Luckily, there was a monkey expert on set to throw a banana peel in this plan’s tracks. One of the crew who worked with apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey quickly pointed out, “Look, the monkey’s just going to pull off the mask over and over again. It’s never going to work.” The team soon enlisted Muppet master-crafter Jim Henson, who suggested casting Frank Oz (formerly the voice of Miss Piggy) to bring Yoda to life. Love Yoda’s quotes? These are some of our favorite movie quotes of all time.

Bonus Star Wars fact: According to the early “Starkiller” drafts of the movie, Lucas wanted to call Yoda “Buffy.”

3. Han Solo died in the original script

The original ending of Return of The Jedi has Luke assuming Darth Vader’s role as evil Galactic enforcer, and Han Solo dying in his heroic raid on the Death Star. Harrison Ford probably would have been fine with this. Ford was famously snippy about Lucas’ script (“George, you can type this ****, but you can’t say it.”) and in a 2010 interview he waved off his iconic character as “Ham Yoyo,” stating he was officially “done with him.” Time makes fools of us all.

These are the most iconic movies set in each state.

4. The Emperor was married to King Kong

Well, in a manner of speaking. When Emperor Palpatine first appears as a hologram in The Empire Strikes Back, the person under the black mantle and facial prosthetics is not Ian McDiarmid, who played Palpatine on screen in Return of The Jedi. It’s not a man at all: the first Emperor we see is actually Elaine Baker, then-wife of Star Wars makeup designer Rick Baker. As Gizmodo points out, Rick Baker once donned the monkey suit in the 1976 King Kong remake, so we can technically say that Emperor Palpatine and King Kong were legally wed. (Just try not to imagine their children.)

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5. The opening text crawl took 3 hours to shoot

The famous floating text that opens A New Hope may have been one of the greatest special effects achievements in the film. As Mental Floss points out, the text was filmed practically “by carefully placing 2-foot-wide die cut yellow letters over a 6-foot-long black paper background with a camera making a slow pass over them to mimic the crawl.” What’s now a default option on filmmaking software took LucasArts three hours to capture.

Bonus Star Wars fact: That “revolutionary” text effect? Flash Gordon did it first.

 

6. The trash in the Death Star garbage compactor scene was REAL

Apparently, the smell was so bad that Mark Hamill burst a blood vessel from trying to hold his breath, and the camera angle had to be adjusted for the rest of the scene so as not to show his injury. As for Peter Mayhew’s yak-hair Chewbacca suit? It reeked for the rest of production.

Bonus Star Wars fact: At the start of A New Hope, Chewbacca is 200 years old.

 

7. It took four men to portray one Vader

How do you capture a presence as big as Darth Vader? Cast four men. The on-screen body of Vader is six-foot-five bodybuilder David Prowse; his stunt double for action scenes is professional fencer Bob Anderson; the voice of Vader is the great James Earl Jones; and the de-helmeted face of Vader in Return of The Jedi is Sebastian Shaw.

Love sci-fi movies? Make sure to check out our list of the best time traveling movies you should definitely see.

8. “I am your father” was the best-kept secret in film

Get a load of one of these Star Wars facts: Lucas kept the twist ending of Empire so well guarded, he even wrote fake text in the script to throw the actors off. During filming, David Prowse (whose voice was later dubbed by James Earl Jones reciting the actual line) yelled to Mark Hamill: “Obi-Wan killed your father!” The cast and crew thought this was the real line—only Hamill, who had been told the truth about Vader moments before filming the scene, knew otherwise. If the secret leaked, it would all come back to Luke.

Bonus Star Wars fact: Of course, if you spoke Dutch or German, you’d already know by A New Hope that Darth Vader literally translates to “Darth Father.”

 

9. It took seven men to portray one Jabba the Hutt

Named by some as the most expensive puppet in the world, the $500,000 Jabba the Hutt model required seven people to bring to life: “Three puppeteers were inside: one controlled the right arm and jaw, another handled the left hand and jaw, tongue, and head movements, and both of them moved the body; a third person was in the tail. Outside, there were one or two people on radio controllers for the eyes, someone under the stage to blow cigar smoke up a tube, and another working bellows for the lungs.”

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Here are some more facts about the most expensive movie props and memorabilia out there.

10. Well, it just took one man to portray R2D2 and an Ewok

In less expensive news (but another one of these rare Star Wars facts), Kenny Baker, the man destined to live inside R2D2, also donned the bear suit to play an Ewok in Return of The Jedi. He plays Paploo—the enterprising Ewok who steals an imperial speeder bike.

Bonus Star Wars fact: The word “Ewok” is never mentioned once in the original trilogy (though they do get a credit at the end.)

 

11. The Ewok’s anthem has a classic rock connection

The final victory song sung by the Ewoks at the end of Jedi was written by the same dude who wrote “Africa”: Joseph Williams, lead singer of Toto and son of legendary composer John Williams. I guess it rains down in Eeeendoooooore…

Bonus Star Wars fact: In other surprising composition news, the new Cantina music featured in The Force Awakens was written by Lin-Manuel Miranda—the creator and star of current Broadway smash hit Hamilton.

These movies have the most rockin’ soundtracks.

12. Other notable noises: bears, walruses, and all the cell doors on Alcatraz

Kids should thank sound designer Ben Burtt for some of the most memorable noises of their childhood. Want to know how he did it? The sound of Darth Vader’s breathing was recorded by putting a microphone inside a scuba tank regulator; Chewbacca’s signature Wookie gargle is a combination of bear, walrus, lion, and badger sounds. The sound of Vader’s pod door closing in Empire is reportedly the sound of a whole block of Alcatraz cell doors slamming shut.

 

13. George Lucas lost a $40 million bet to Steven Spielberg

Another one of these little-known Star Wars facts? In the late ‘70s, Lucas was working on A New Hope at the same time his buddy Steven Spielberg was working on Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Visiting the Close Encounters set one day, Lucas reportedly fell into a panic, Spielberg says:

“He said, ‘Oh my God, your movie is going to be so much more successful than Star Wars! This is gonna be the biggest hit of all time. I can’t believe this set.’ He said, ‘All right, I’ll tell you what. I’ll trade some points with you. I’ll give you 2.5 percent of Star Wars if you give me 2.5 percent of Close Encounters.’ So I said, ‘Sure, I’ll gamble with that.’”

Gamble is right. Star Wars made $775 million at the global box office compared with Close Encounters’ $304 million. Adjusted for inflation, TIME reports, “Spielberg’s edge could come out to as much as $40 million.”

The kicker? Lucas actually made good on his bet. (Doesn’t hurt when you’re a billionaire.)

May the Force be with you.

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What gets rid of dandruff?

Dandruff may be the result of a dry scalp, or a skin condition called seborrheic dermatitis. It could also be caused by eczema, psoriasis, or, very commonly, an overgrowth of a yeastlike fungus called malassezia. (Here are 5 more surprising causes of dandruff.) Drugstore dandruff remedies might include shampoos with zinc pyrithione, which targets fungus and bacteria; ketoconazole, which also fights fungus; coal tar and selenium sulfide, which slow the growth and die-off of skin cells on your scalp; and salicylic acid, which loosens flakes so they can be washed away. For some trusted dandruff remedies, read on.

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When you’re leaving for an international trip, a passport is the single most important thing to double check you remembered. After all, it’s your one ticket to get out of the country—and get back in. Passports are powerful, but not all are created equal.

Depending on what passport you own (including the rarest passport in the world), you’ll need a visa to get into different countries. For instance, a U.S. passport is all you need to get into Peru. If you decide to head to Brazil while you’re there, though, you’ll need to apply for a visa. But a Peruvian passport would let you cross the border into Brazil without a visa.

Naturally, some passports will get you into more countries visa-free than others. Global financial advisory firm Arton Capital ranked every country’s passport from most to least powerful, based on how many countries it would give access to without a visa. The Passport Index updates in real time when new visa rules come out, and you can even explore passports by country or by color. (Find out what your passport color really means.)

Currently, Singapore reigns as the most powerful passport in the world. It gets their owners into 159 countries without a visa. In second place is Germany, which gives access to 158 countries. But none will cross a border if you’re part of this weird rule that considers some valid passports expired.

The United States, which has 154 visa-free countries on its list, doesn’t come in until the sixth group. It’s tied with Malaysia, Ireland, and Canada.

Count yourself lucky if you don’t rely on an Afghanistan passport—that document is the least powerful, only letting citizens into 22 countries without a visa. After that comes Pakistan and Iraq, both with 26 visa-free options.

Visa or not, make sure you avoid these airport mistakes that could ruin your vacation.

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Be nice to nerds

According to Bill Gates, you should probably be nice to nerds and take their nerdy quotes seriously. “Chances are you’ll end up working for one.” (Here’s the one crucial skill you need to be successful, according to Gates.)

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Housework

This is one of the ultimate debatable topics: Having a husband creates an extra seven hours a week of housework for women… a wife saves men from about an hour of housework a week. (Sounds like married couples might also want to brush up on things they should tell each other every day.)

Source: University of Michigan

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Q: Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A: They have no body to love

 

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

(Test out these cheap DIY Halloween decorations that will make this your spookiest holiday ever.)

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels

 

Q: What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.

 

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.

(If you want more laughs give these punny Halloween costumes a try this year.)

Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

 

 

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

 

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

(These skeleton puns will have you on the floor laughing.)

Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.

 

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.

 

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.

 

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.

 

 

Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers

(These are the stories behind those spooky Halloween traditions and how they came to haunt us.)

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite

 

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

 

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.

 

Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

(Try out these free pumpkin carving stencils to bring your jack-o’-lantern to the next level.)

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

 

Q:What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

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Julie & Julia

Meryl Streep stars as the famous chef and cookbook writer Julia Child in this charming ode to the romance of cooking. Stanley Tucci shines as her devoted husband. Half the film follows Child’s adventures, while the other half focuses on Julie, played by the fetching Amy Adams. She plays the real-life blogger who struggled to follow Child’s recipes and documented her success and disasters online. These are the baking mistakes you probably don’t know you’re making.

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Expert tips and advice to get over unrequited love and prepare yourself for a new, healthy relationship

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The original King of Monsters has become cute. How does that happen?

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There's no question the Titanic sank, but could it have been intentional?

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Will the programming of truly driverless cars prevent them from violating traffic laws? That might actually make traffic move faster.

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Robert Lamb shares some more uncanny, seasonal music for your Halloween listening pleasure...

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Movie Crush is an interview show where Chuck sits down with your favorite people to talk about their favorite movie. Simple enough, but what we get is much more than that. It’s a look at what makes a favorite thing, and why someone’s favorite movie says so much about who they are. More conversation than interview, Movie Crush, at its heart, is about the love affair we all have with the silver screen.

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Ketamine infusions are one of the latest treatments available for treatment resistant depression. There are many hospitals and research centers offering free or fee for service treatments in order to gather data to support FDA approval as well as insurance approval.

My personal experience involves having ketamine infusions at one of the best psychiatric and research-based hospitals in the country. They are collecting every bit of data involving what happens to the patient prior to each treatment, during the infusion as well as post-treatment. I always felt in good hands and felt grateful to be receiving the treatment at a teaching hospital.

My first infusion was an interesting experience. After a few minutes passed once the infusion began I felt as if my body was not actually present but I was aware of my surroundings. I then became more talkative than I had been for months due to my severe depression. I commented to one of the doctors about that and he told me that it happens to some patients. That first infusion felt weird but positive. I came out of the treatment room and went to my husband in the waiting room and just said, “now that was an interesting experience!”

Unfortunately, the next six treatments were not comfortable or “interesting.” During each infusion, I cried, I sobbed as all of my negative thoughts and feelings were magnified dramatically. It felt uncomfortable and upsetting as I was aware that I was there to feel better. The staff was stellar though from the ones collecting data to the doctors and nurses. They would check on me, provide more tissues and ask if I was okay. There was one time when my nurse came over and asked if I was okay and I turned the question around and asked her, “am I okay?” She instantly held my arm and said “you are okay and I am right here with you.” I will never forget that.

The one positive that resulted from the infusions was that I felt a bit more focused in my thinking. Unfortunately, they did not help improve my mood or my inner pain.

While I had to pay for the first four treatments, the price differential as compared to the smaller private ketamine clinics was worth it. My research into the cost of ketamine infusions at these private clinics revealed costs ranging from $475 to $550 per infusion. I paid approximately 60% more than that per treatment (I paid for four infusions) and then received 3 infusions for “free” which was a huge help as my husband and I did not have the funds for the four infusions I received but we were quite desperate as I was extremely ill. Again, as I am partial to receiving my health care services at large teaching and research-based institutions I always felt safe and was fully aware of the numerous staff present during each infusion. There were usually 3-4 medical doctors, 3-4 nurses and then 2 research staff who went through questionnaires before and after each infusion and also conducted cognitive testing before the first infusion and in the middle of my treatments. I was worried about staffing at the smaller private clinics even though the cost was much lower but I do not have any regrets.

I do not feel angry that these infusions did not help me and I know from talking with the doctors that they are seeing a dramatic number of patients with treatment resistant depression helped by the ketamine infusions and that is very positive. For those of us with treatment resistant depression, we are desperate for more options. I have had positive effects from ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) and mixed results from TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). I have tried many medications from many classes of drugs. I am thankful to research centers at hospitals such as The Depression Research Program at Yale-New Haven Hospital, the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center as well as The Depression Clinical and Research Program at Mass General Hospital all of whom have current studies in progress in order to gain the necessary FDA approval which will help launch insurance approval.

While I am in recovery from this major depressive episode due to beginning an anti-depressant in a class I have never tried, I am thankful that ketamine is out there for patients like me. Having depression is difficult enough but when medications and other approved treatments do not help to alleviate one’s symptoms, there must be alternatives. My hope is that with the data being gathered on a daily basis by these research institutions that the FDA will approve ketamine use for the treatment of depression. Since it is not yet approved there is a huge cost involved for the patient unless one can become part of a particular study where the fee is waived. This is not a cheap treatment. As I stated earlier, my husband and I were desperate and decided we would figure out how to pay for the infusions as I was so severely ill. We did not have the funds readily available. I would not wish that financial burden on anyone, especially someone who is already dealing with such an unforgiving illness.

Ketamine infusions did not help me recover from my treatment resistant depression but they truly may help you.

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Crabs exposed to Prozac are more careless in their foraging behavior, and more aggressive toward members of their own species.

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It’s a pizza, not a lifetime commitment

My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Just make sure it’s not the worst pizza topping of all time.

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Learn about paranormal phenomena

The saying “knowledge is power” couldn’t ring more true when you’re confronting ghosts, poltergeists, or, on rare occasions, demons. Make sure you educate yourself because pretending you’re Bill Murray from Ghostbusters is useless and foolish on the scene of an actual haunt. The Rhine Education Center, a parapsychology school and research institute that studies paranormal and psychic phenomena, is the perfect place for aspiring paranormal investigators to learn about the field and investigative techniques before they go to their first haunt. An eight-week course typically costs about $200 to $250. “To prepare, you need to learn about the physical world and how it works,” says John Kruth, executive director of the Rhine Research Center. “If people are under high-powered electrical lines, that can cause electronic problems in the house, effect a person’s physical behavior, or cause them to see waves in the air that aren’t there.” He suggests learning the basics of human biology, physics, and engineering to help expand your knowledge behind the plausible explanations for the strange and peculiar physical phenomena you may encounter. This is the real reason why ghosts say boo! 

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Wheel of Fortune

It was 1975 when the first episode of the game show Wheel of Fortune debuted with the name Shopper’s Bazaar. After the pilot aired the name was changed and Chuck Woolery of Love Connection fame took on hosting duties with Susan Strafford as the “Vanna.” It wasn’t’ until 1981 that Pat Sajak showed up and 1982 that Vanna began flipping vowels. Since then Wheel of Fortune has proven to be one of the most successful game shows of all time. Think you have the puzzle solving know-how and wheel spinning technique to win you some big bucks? Carlsbad Patch Editor Deanne Goodman was a contestant on the show and offers this advice for making the cut in addition to the official rules.

• Get your application in and make a killer video. Perhaps you don’t race cars for a living, but schlepping your kids around from soccer to dance to school feels like you do? Try making the mundane in your life unique to stand out from the crowd.
• Looks count when it comes to having a chance at spinning the wheel so don’t skimp on the mascara.
• Scored the audition? Make a statement. Dress up, wear bold colors, and smile. Enthusiasm will get you far.
• Don’t be afraid to be bold and stand out at the audition. You will only have 30 seconds. Practice and make them count.
• Know how to play the game. “In our Wheel audition, there were probably 200 people and a handful of them had no idea they needed to ask to buy a vowel,” said Goodman.”They didn’t make it to the final round of the auditions.”
• Be flexible. After auditioning Goodman was told she’d hear back in two weeks if selected, but it wasn’t until more than a year later that she got a call asking her to be on the show the following week. Be sure to brush up on these funny vocabulary words to up your chances.

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What’s wrong with debit?

Debit might seem great because there’s no chance of spending more than you have or risking steep overdraft fees, but the stakes are also higher when it comes to fraud. That’s why debit cards are one of the things you should never, ever keep in your purse. For one thing, debit cards take cash straight from your bank account, while credit cards give you time to look at your charges. “A credit card is more like a loan,” says Mason Wilder, research specialist at the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners. “You have more time to dispute charges before any actual funds of yours go out.” Plus, the Fair Credit Billing Act only leaves you legally liable to up to $50 on a credit card, and the four major credit card companies all have zero liability, says credit expert John Ulzheimer, president of The Ulzheimer Group. If you are a victim of debit card fraud, though, you could be out up to $500—especially if you swipe at these risky places.

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Staying up-to-date is essential

Vaccines save lives—make sure you’re not falling for these 10 common vaccine myths. Brendan Anzalone, MD, the president and chief medical officer of AeroMD Air Ambulance says peace of mind is something you can’t package in a carry-on or checked bag, but it is something you can have if you meet with your doctor before takeoff. “A meeting with your personal physician to go over your vaccination history is a good starting point for simple shots, such as updating tetanus or getting the flu vaccine. For travel to more exotic locales, it may be a good idea to consult with a travel medicine specialist to see what area-specific vaccines may be needed for your travels,” he says.

Though this list isn’t exhaustive—considering there are hundreds of medications and vaccinations you may consider, depending on how long you’ll be out of the country and what visas you’re collecting—this is a smart launching pad to nomadic health:

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What to do with leftover Halloween candy?

Last year, Denver mom of two Audrey Kinsman realized Halloween was becoming a problem for her younger son, 4, who has a serious food allergy and can’t eat most of the candy he collected trick-or-treating. (Find out which 7 allergy-friendly candies you can give out.) On a whim, Kinsman convinced her kids to forfeit their loot after keeping their five favorite pieces, because the “Switch Witch” was going to visit their house that night and swap their candy for a special toy. (Here are 12 non-candy Halloween treats to hand out so everyone can enjoy.) Kinsman’s kids were enthralled—“they came flying down the stairs the next morning and couldn’t wait to find out what happened with the Switch Witch”—she recalls. Thinking that other parents would also like this fun, magical way to purge Halloween candy, Kinsman transformed her made-up fairy tale into a new Halloween tradition called Switchcrafted. Her book, which comes with a Switch Witch doll (like The Elf on the Shelf), tells a whimsical story about witches who need candy to fuel their brooms and heat their homes. In chatting with Kinsman about the Switch Witch phenomenon, we also discovered many other creative things you can do with your leftover candy.

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How big or small do you write?

You’d be surprised to see what your handwriting says about you. Did you know big, outgoing personalities tend to write in large letters, and shy, introverted types prefer to write small? If you have average-sized writing, it demonstrates a strong ability to focus and concentrate. These are hidden strengths of being an introvert.

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Why do we order a tall, grande, or venti coffee instead of the typical small, medium, or large? Let’s be honest: Most Starbucks regulars have secretly wondered this at one point or another. In fact, this common coffee conundrum probably falls among the many “unexplained Starbucks quirks,” along with why Starbucks’ tables are round and the surprising origin of its name. Seriously, what’s the deal with these unusual sizes?

Legend has it that Starbucks chairman and CEO Howard Schultz took a trip to Italy in 1983, where he was “captivated by the romance of the Italian coffee bar,” according to the Starbucks website. So much so, in fact, that he decided to emulate it in the U.S. with his own coffee shop, called Il Giornale.

With his shop, Schultz “wanted to convey a different image, something far more exotic than a simple cup of joe,” author Karen Blumenthal wrote in her book Grande Expectations. And “since the stores were designed around the concept of Italian coffee bars, [Schultz] wanted distinctive names” for the beverages to honor that heritage. Hence the unconventional (and often Italian!) terms like macchiato, latte, and grande.

Il Giornale eventually expanded into the Starbucks franchise as we know it today. But the story doesn’t end there. In the ‘90s, its menu listed three sizes: short, tall, and grande. A short essentially correlated with a small, a tall was a medium, and a grande was a large. The introduction of the venti size demoted the tall—making it the new short—and removed the short size altogether. However, you can still order a “short” at most Starbucks locations today. (Surprised? Don’t miss 13 more secrets your barista won’t tell you.)

Now that we’ve solved the mystery behind Starbucks’ bizarre coffee sizes, here’s another one: Why can’t the baristas spell anyone’s name right? Our guess: You might be guilty of committing one of their biggest pet peeves.

[Source: Inquirer]

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Haggling for a raise can be a nerve-wracking experience, particularly in America. The workplace can be pretty cripplingly stressful as is, but now you have to talk about proper compensation? What if you get nervous and just request to be paid in marbles? Now that would be a real comedy of errors.

But actually, comedy may be the best way to avoid said errors, at least when it comes to negotiating your salary. According to Lifehacker, a proven tactic to leave your salary negotiations with better pay is to severely highball your worth, in a joking fashion. “Mr. Upperman, I want to be paid one million marbles.”

A 2008 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology can be thanked for this tactic. Todd J. Thorsteinson, a University of Idaho professor, conducted a series of negotiations with a group of participants, and found that the group that the “joke” group, who would ask for a salary astronomically higher than the actual projected compensation, would always end up leaving the discussion more financially well off than the control group.

The difference wasn’t negligible: the control group left negotiations with an average starting salary of $32,463, while the “joke” group left negotiations with an average starting salary of $35,385. That’s a pay bump of roughly nine percent, which is, statistically speaking, a larger pay bump than seven percent.

So, for the love of marbles, ask for something ridiculous next time you’re negotiating your salary. It also couldn’t hurt to make sure you have this one thing on your resume.

[Source: Lifehacker]

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Mysterious sights and sounds

Clearly we have a fascination with haunted houses in this country, but professional ghost hunter Greg Newkirk doesn’t think most of them are so scary. Instead, he says, “I think they’re trying to send us a message.” Newkirk, who has appeared as an expert on TV shows such as TLC’s Kindred Spirits, Travel Channel’s Mysteries at the Museum, and Destination America’s Paranormal Lockdown, has practically seen it all, and only very rarely finds himself truly spooked. He says most hauntings aren’t evil—only misunderstood. “I think a lot of the classic signs that people run into are mysterious noises that seem to come from places they can’t locate, a lot of bumping and scratching on walls, seeing full-bodied apparitions, and things moving from place to place when you’ve not touched them.” Of course, anyone who has seen a horror movie or a ghost show probably already knows this. What you might not know, however, is that what you call “a haunting” may not be the real deal. Newkirk has been called to houses where the causes of these phenomena have actually been carbon monoxide poisoning which caused people to hallucinate. Mold too, can cause the same reaction. For houses with legitimate ghosts, there are more telling signs that your house is haunted. These are the 20 best haunted houses in America.

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Footnotes for episode 17 of The Daily Zeitgeist which aired on 10.31.17.

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Why not cylindrical? Or even cube-shaped?

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For many people hoping and seeking lasting love, trying to crack the code of “compatibility” is just as likely to create confusion as clarity. That’s because, for all the tidy checklists and online quizzes meant to gauge a couple’s compatibility, in reality, it’s a complex interplay between psychology, biology, and a host of intangibles that resist easy characterization.

Does that mean compatibility is overrated as a cornerstone of healthy relationships? Definitely not.

But neither is compatibility a simple series of boxes you check off and forget about. It turns out your key “must-haves” and “can’t-stands” can line up quite well — and you still rub each other the wrong way. You may both be avid skiers, but if you can’t amicably decide where to go on your next vacation, then “compatibility” in that respect counts for very little.

It’s important to remind yourself alignment will never be perfect, and success ultimately depends on how you handle remaining differences. It’s about your temperament, disposition, and attitude — whether you are able to believe the best about each other, support each other even when disagreeing, and allow your values to grow and change when necessary. Where those qualities are concerned, compatibility is not something you have, it’s something you make — together.

As you consider the following domains of compatibility, think about how each can be approached with love, compassion, understanding, and flexibility. Here are six core categories to examine, to be sure you start with a baseline of important shared values with a prospective life partner:

Lifestyle.

A host of things fall under this umbrella — from eating habits to hygiene to your respective attitudes about substance use. If your idea of a perfect weekend is popcorn and old movies on the sofa, and your partner pushes you to join her in the mosh pits of the city’s punk rock clubs, you may be headed for trouble. On the other hand, you may still be compatible if you can give each other the freedom to enjoy your differences apart.

Finances.

Of all the goals you will set and work toward together, money management is arguably the most important. That’s because, in one way or another, it touches practically everything else. Do you need to talk bank accounts on the first date? Of course not. But within the first few weeks, it’s important to get even a basic understanding of your potential partners’s financial picture and outlook.

Politics and religion.

A defining characteristic of an inclusive, democratic society is the ability to calmly consider all points of view. In a romantic relationship, however, some issues are likely to produce divisions too wide to span. Be honest from the beginning about your potentially polarizing beliefs.

Family and children.

By far the biggest, most important, and most demanding project you’ll undertake together is having and raising children. Long before the first child arrives, make sure you can agree on key parenting values and goals.

Intelligence.

This is not to say you must always think alike, but that you should be able to think with similar tools of education and reasoning at your disposal. A divide will inevitably open in a relationship when one partner feels consistently outsmarted and outgunned in conversation.

Sex.

Yes, it matters whether you want and enjoy the same things in bed. Feeling pressure to deliver an experience you find distasteful is not cool — and not something you can sustain for long. Conversely, you’re probably incompatible if your own desires consistently go unmet.

Some diversity in a relationship can make it stronger and more resilient. Too much will add up to incompatibility. Knowing where to draw the line is a task best approached with patience and love.

The post 6 Core Signs You’re Truly Compatible (And What That Matters) appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

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‘Tis the season to run away from zombies — or date them.

If you keep an open mind, you might discover that a zombie is who you’ve been looking for all along.

(But still be careful. Date at your own risk.)

13 reasons to date a zombie:

1. Are you accident prone? Date a zombie and there’s little chance you’ll accidentally kill him/her.

2. Related to number 1: Everyone will understand if you kill your date.

3. Your date will be happy to see you. He might even come running.

4. If you tend to overheat in cuddling situations, a cold-blooded date will be a refreshing change.

5. You’ll be the graceful one in the relationship. And the prettiest.

6. To zombies, age is just a number. You’re alive. That’s all that matters.

7. Related to number 5: Zombies aren’t threatened by your work successes, have commitment issues or whine about your needy friends. They’re just happy you’re alive.

8. Got enemies? Are they alive? Not anymore.

9. Sick of wondering if last night’s date will call? Zombies are pursuers. You won’t have to wonder if he/she is interested.

10. Zombies are inspiring. They know what they want and they do what it takes to get it.

11. Dating a zombie is dangerous — but bad boys are sexy, right?

12. Zombies are trendy. They currently have more street cred than vampires.

13. Dinner is easy – just add brains to the ingredient list and you are good to go.

 

The post 13 Reasons to Date a Zombie appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

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If you’re prepping for a first date this Halloween, keep in mind the dating wisdom offered by these classic horror movies.

1. Dating Do: Behave yourself. It’s a general rule that good girls survive. Act accordingly.

2. Dating Don’t: Get drunk. Drunk characters end up playing the fools and victims in horror flicks. You don’t want to be either.

3. Dating Do: Date in public. Head to a restaurant, busy park, or popular hangout spot. Horror movies have taught us that isolated areas, abandoned buildings and hotels in the middle of nowhere — ‘The Shining’, anyone? — are homicidal hot spots.

4. Dating Don’t: Date an addict in the throws of their disease. From Patrick Bateman’s cocaine habit to Hellraiser’s need for fresh blood, addiction is a red flag in the movies and in real life. Addicts need help. Insist your date pursues sobriety before getting sucked into the scary world of addiction.

5. Dating Do: Mean what you say. Don’t tell Jason to “give me your best shot.” You don’t mean it.

6. Dating Don’t: Mistreat women. See: ‘Attack of the 50 Foot Woman’. Yikes.

7. Dating Do: Make first impressions count. Men, showing up for the date in a hockey mask does not prove you’re a dedicated athlete. She will run away — as she should. And, ladies, the obnoxious girl never makes it to the sequel.

8. Dating Don’t: Stay in a uncomfortable situation. If Vincent Price is the host of the dinner party, leave. Send a note of regret later. And if the house itself tells you to leave, do it. Do not pass go.

9. Dating Do: Avoid bleeding heart syndrome. Not every hitchhiker needs your help. Make choices that prioritize self-preservation over heroism.

10. Dating Don’t: Camp at Crystal Lake. Don’t camp there, don’t skinny-dip there, and don’t, under any circumstances, make out there. You will die. (Don’t dig up Jason’s body either.)

 

The post The Biggest Dating Dos and Don’ts from Our Favorite Horror Films appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

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If you’re dateless for this year’s neighborhood Halloween bash, bring your best costume idea to life, prime your sweet tooth, and get ready to mingle. Dressing in wacky attire might even give you that boost of courage to try one of the ghoulish day’s cheesiest pickup lines.

Pickup lines for the Halloween party:

1. I’m trying to work up the nerve to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots.

2. That skeleton over there wanted to ask you for your number, but, unlike me, he didn’t have the guts.

3. To the cute zombie: You look dead sexy. Mostly dead, but still sexy.

4. Tricks aren’t really my thing. But you’re sure a treat.

5. You should try my famous candy-corn chowder. Wanna come over for dinner next Friday?

6. To a pirate: That’s quite a booty you’ve got there.

7. It’s almost midnight. I can’t wait to see what you turn into.

8. If you’re a vampire: I want to suck your blood. But I won’t. Edward and Bella made it work. Sorta.

9. To the girl not wearing a costume: Lucky girl, you don’t need Halloween. You look like an angel every day.

10. It’s a good thing we’re not in a horror movie. The pretty girl always goes first.

The post Pickup Lines for the Halloween Party appeared first on eHarmony Advice.

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More people are opting for cremation over traditional burials and in some states they can choose a water cremation.

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A new study shows that belief in perceiving patterns correlated strongly with belief in conspiracy theories and the supernatural.

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Wintry, icy conditions mean the elderly slip, fall and break a hip more often when venturing outdoors, right? Actually, quite the opposite is true, with some caveats.

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Discover the best treatments for that depression. Medication, self-help or online depression help?

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Few of us have ever been in a situation where we’re jumping out of a plane, unless you decided to cross skydiving off your bucket list or are following the steps to survive a plane crash. (The former is much more likely, for the record.)

But most people have heard someone scream, “Geronimo!”, an exclamation most commonly associated with jumping out of airplanes. That’s because the first person to say it did so while, you guessed it, jumping from a plane—and his name was Aubrey Eberhardt.

Aubrey was a private in the U.S. Army during the 1940s, when the army was beginning to have soldiers parachute from airplanes as a new method of deployment, according to Today I Found Out. His unit was one of the first to do so. The night before the big jump, the soldiers went out on the town for drinks, a movie, and more drinks. The movie they most likely saw was Geronimo, a western film about the Apache Indian chief of the same name.

Now, we all know alcohol has certain effects on the body, and our young Aubrey fell susceptible to those conditions. Armed with liquid confidence, he began bragging about how brave he was, how he wasn’t scared to parachute the next day. The other soldiers tried to call his bluff. He’d probably be so scared, he wouldn’t even remember his name.

Aubrey then exclaimed, “All right, dammit! I tell you jokers what I’m gonna do! To prove to you that I’m not scared out of my wits when I jump, I’m gonna yell ‘Geronimo’ loud as hell when I go out that door tomorrow!”

And that’s just what Aubrey did. Eventually, the rest of his unit adopted the phrase and it spread throughout the army. The first official Parachute Infantry Battalion even had the word put on their insignia.

There’s also a legend that Geronimo himself came up with the battle cry, yelling his own name as he leapt down a nearly vertical cliff on horseback to escape American troops at Fort Sill, Oklahoma.

Nowadays, this tradition has been carried on by adventurous folk who jump off various other objects: a diving board, a bungee-jumping cliff, a deck into a large pile of leaves. You’ve probably said it yourself at one point. After all, screaming your own name would just be awkward.

[Source: Today I Found Out]

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Are your eyelids drooping as you read this? You might want to watch what you put on your plate. We all know that a lack of sleep can make us older, crankier, and—let’s face it—fatter. (Learn what else happens when you don’t get enough sleep.) But sleep slackers, beware: Researchers now know exactly how many more calories we consume when we skimp on our shuteye, and it’s not pretty.

According to a 2016 meta-analysis published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition, people who don’t get enough sleep much more than usual the next day. More specifically, they eat an average of 385 calories more than their usual intake. The research team also revealed that the sleep-deprived participants ate significantly more fat and less protein.

Why the boost in calories and fat? Turns out, a bad night’s sleep can actually make you crave junk food, scientists say.

To make matters worse, the subjects didn’t move around much after a bad night’s sleep. So instead of burning off those extra calories, it’s likely that the participants ended up storing them as fat. Consistently eating 385 extra calories a day can cause you to gain about a pound every nine days, Women’s Health reported. And not only does that spell disaster for your tummy, but all that weight gain could also increase your risk of developing conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.

If you struggle to lose weight, researchers suggest adjusting your sleep habits first and foremost. Try getting to bed an hour earlier to hit the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep. But for those who struggle to reach that suggested dose of Zzzs, try these tips to stay sharp. Trust us, your body (and your brain!) will be glad you did.

[Source: Women’s Health]

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Welcome to every bookworm’s dream: An entire hotel dedicated to the love of literature. And you won’t even need to leave the premises to explore thousands of different places and experiences because you can do it right from the comfort of your own room.

Located in Óbidos, a small Portuguese town outside of Lisbon, The Literary Man offers about 65,000 books for visitors’ perusal. Guests can stay in one of 30 rooms with different literary themes pertaining to notable Portuguese literature and writers. And did we mention the secret menu of cocktails named after famous authors? (If this got you screaming with joy, it could be a sign you’re a full-fledged bookworm.)

“The idea is to provide a unique experience to our guests—each room is modelled on a specific literary suggestion,” owner and former mayor of Óbidos Telmo Faria told Scroll.in via email. “For instance, if Room 14 is named after the Portuguese Nobel Prize recipient José Saramago, and has books written by him, you will find other accommodations dedicated to poetry, travel writing and detective stories.”

Plus, the town of Óbidos itself is worth a visit for any hardcore bibliophile. Not only does the 700-year-old medieval village offer plenty of picturesque libraries and bookshops, but it’s also one of 20 cities named a UNESCO City of Literature. Book lovers should add the small town where there are more books than people to their bucket lists, too.

Ready to book (haha) your ticket? Don’t forget to pack the 20 books you really should have read by now!

[Source: Scroll.in]

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If you need a recommendation, call a plumbing-supply or fixture store

They don’t tolerate bad plumbers, so you know they’ll send you to the best of the best.

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Airport security lines move slower than molasses in the arctic tundra—and according to Reuters, they’re about to start moving slower than molasses in an arctic tundra with shag carpeting (unless of course, you know about these programs that help speed you through airport security). 

October 26th marked the first day of the Transportation Security Administration’s (TSA) new set of security measures for U.S. bound flights, which will include short interviews with officials at check-in or at the boarding gates and an inspection of personal electronic devices. In July, the TSA put a set of restrictions in place which required passengers to remove any electronic device larger than a cell phone from their luggage prior to screening. You’ll want to make sure you don’t have (or do) any of these things that are likely to get you flagged by the TSA, too. 

The new measures are being enacted so that airlines will not have to enact an in-cabin laptop ban for all airlines. In July, restrictions banning electronic devices from being present in carry-on luggage coming from 10 airports in eight countries in the Middle East and North Africa were lifted. The government stated after the ban was lifted that the restrictions could be reimposed if airlines did not strengthen their security protocols.

These heavier measures will affect all U.S. bound flights, but no domestic flights. On a daily basis, 325,000 passengers arrive in the U.S. via approximately 2,000 international flights. 

 

[Source: Reuters]

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It comes on suddenly, at random or as the result of days of stress. And even though you recognize the symptoms of a panic attack and know you need to calm down, the attack pushes rationalization from your mind. Happy thoughts you try to conjure are immediately eclipsed by extreme fear and anxiety. Your head throbs, your heart races, and you fidget with your hands to hide the uncontrollable shaking.

When you’re in the midst of a panic attack, getting out of it can seem impossible. It’s not. Regaining control is possible with one simple solution: breathing.

We often forget how much the way we breathe affects our bodies. Do it too fast, and you’ll hyperventilate, unknowingly contributing to the panic attack. But when we strategically slow down our breathing, we normalize our vital signs and begin to de-stress.

Military personnel and police officers know this all too well; their jobs revolve around stress. So they practice a technique called tactical breathing, also called combat breathing, which helps them focus, get in control of their emotions and thoughts, and manage stress—all in a matter of seconds. It goes like this:

• Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of four
• Hold your breath for a count of four
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four
• Hold for a count of four
• Repeat 3-5 times, visualizing each number as you count

The cause of your anxiety doesn’t need to be firing guns or dodging bullets for this breathing method to be effective. Anyone suffering from a panic attack or any sort of stress can and should utilize tactical breathing to ease the anxiety away and regain focus in mere minutes.

But take note of how often you experience these moments of extreme fear and worry. If you have the symptoms of an anxiety disorder, it’s time to talk to your doctor or a therapist about long-term treatment options.

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Stress can cause havoc in our lives if we don’t take steps to manage the symptoms. Increased levels of stress and worry can affect your body, your thoughts and feelings, along with your behaviors. Each person can experience stress-related symptoms in a different and unique way. It often targets the weakest part of your physiology and character. For example, if you’re prone to acne break-outs, then stressful situations/days can cause a flare-up. If you’re known to be grumpy, stress will only make the matter worse.

Luckily, not all is lost and there are certain self-help techniques that are great for managing stress levels. You can practice these suggestions on your own and see if they bring an improvement. If stress is creating unwanted anxiety that is making your life spiral out of control, it may be a good idea to speak with a psychotherapist. A combination of behavioral therapy and practicing self-help techniques is often the key to unlocking a stress-free lifestyle.

Decreasing Stress Naturally

• Become aware of your stressors – do certain situations trigger your body’s stress response? By being aware of what triggers you to be stressed out, worried, and anxious, you can learn to manage these feelings and emotions.
• Learn to reverse the stress response – once you’re aware of what’s happening to your body, you can decrease stress naturally. Try relaxation breathing or meditation. Staying in the “now” is the cornerstone of practicing mindfulness which can bring a sense of purpose and balance into your life.
• Take care of yourself physically – one of the best natural stress relievers is physical activity. You don’t have to be a professional bodybuilder to reap the benefits. A brisk walk (or jog) in the fresh air a few times a week has endless health benefits, including reducing stress. If you enjoy playing a sport, try doing it more often and begin to feel better from the cardio-based activity.
• Think positively  – Make an inventory of which areas of your life could use improvement, and which aspects bring joy and happiness. This way, you can figure out if there is a healthy balance, and what you need to work on. The happier you are, the less stressed you’ll be!
• Meditation – a natural way of calming down and relaxing is engaging in medication and mindfulness. This could be as simple as focusing on your breathing in a quiet environment for ten minutes to as complex as going to the beach and becoming conscious of your surroundings.
• Music therapy – listening to your favorite songs can have a soothing effect and melt away stress with every note.

These are just a few of the many self-help techniques for managing stress levels that can be helpful. Stress-relieving benefits accumulate over time, so don’t become discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. It’s important to be proactive with your well-being so you can avoid the negative effects of unwanted stress, worry, and anxiety.

When we’re dealing with stress, we can lose control of our thoughts and behaviors and preoccupy ourselves with the stressful situation. This can bring negative consequences and impact your ability to calm down.

You’re Always in Control

Stressors are situations that cause stress to create a negative reaction in our lives. An overwhelming work schedule could be too much to handle and in turn cause an increase of stress levels. If you’re dealing with a rocky relationship and your significant other is always on your mind – that can cause stress and worry. It’s important to remember that you’re in control of your thoughts and behaviors.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s a good idea to set back and do some breathing exercises or take a five minute break. A quick breather will refocus you on the task at hand and lower the anxiety that is stressing you out. Feelings of dread or impending doom can strain a person to the point of breaking down and this ties in with stress levels as well. If your life is unmanageable because of the anxiety, stress, and worry, it could be a good idea to speak with a therapist.

In cases where the stress overpowers the ability to function normally, self-help techniques may not be enough to control and manage the symptoms. A popular method for treating stress and anxiety is called exposure and response prevention therapy.

Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is one of the most researched and effective treatments for stress and anxiety disorders.  It is based on the premise that if you are afraid of something, you must face that fear in order to learn that you can handle it.  Avoiding what you fear maintains or increases your anxiety and often generalizes to other situations which lead to new fears, anxieties and avoidance.

Exposure and Response Prevention is based on Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The concept behind CBT is that there are three contributing factors: the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you behave. While many therapies will focus “only on the way you think and feel,” with Exposure and Response Prevention the behavior becomes the main focus when it comes to an anxiety disorder because behavioral change is the true and most meaningful measure of whether or not a person is still anxious.  It is through learning how to face your fears and practicing  in real-life situations that your anxiety decreases and can eventually extinguish altogether.

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15 Effects of sleep deprivation and why sleep and dreaming are so important. With free article download.

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“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

In a therapy session, a client made the oft used statement that he had come to believe was true. I questioned his perception as I wondered whether he needed to go through the traumas of his youth to get to the place he was at present. He looked at me, puzzled and said that it had taught him to be more compassionate and empathetic.

As much as we might want to use deductive reasoning to understand and, in some cases, validate an outcome, do we, at times, seek out challenges to make what happened to us acceptable?

Consider the life of a woman who had experienced multiple losses that she suppressed over the years, so that she could function and then looked back in regret at what she might have done differently. She reminded herself that had she made alternative choices, stemming from a “If I knew then what I know now,” mindset, she would have missed career and relationship opportunities. She acknowledged that had she not married her husband, she wouldn’t have had the roller coaster emotional ride, but would not have learned all she had about herself. Had she left the marriage at the various times when she contemplated doing so, she wouldn’t have followed the trajectory on which she now finds herself. Had he not died, she wouldn’t have taken the career path she is on. Had subsequent relationships turned out as she planned, she would have missed out on others that ultimately fed her heart and soul. Putting these life events into perspective had her relinquishing her regrets and the harshly self-critical voices that hitch-hiked along with them. The question remains: did they make her stronger or render her more vulnerable?

Are our challenges like an intense gym workout that has us becoming more flexible and robust as we sweat it out on various pieces of equipment that might be symbolically labeled, “illness”, “death of a loved one”, “financial difficulty”, or “relationship ending”? The Holmes-Rahe Scale highlights the various events that may arrive unpredictably or by design. Each one bears a number points that can impact us in life altering ways. When faced with resistance, our muscles may stretch, but if we go too far past our limits, they may tear. Teachers of yoga advise their students to “go to their edge,” but not further, since injury is more likely. The same is true for our emotional muscles.

During major seismic shifts in my life, my long-time friend and mentor, Dr. Yvonne Kaye has reminded me not to say that I am strong, because when you see yourself as strong, it gives out the signal that you don’t need anyone. Instead, she would tell me that I have strengths. Over the years, I have developed these resiliency skills, as I engage in activities, such as taking naps, meditation, laughter, nurturing touch, dance, listening to and making music, asking for support, allowing for tears to flow, writing, time in nature, and engaging in workouts. As the daughter of a resilient mother who was “the rock” of the family, I had come to believe Nietzsche’s statement and took it to heart, literally. In 2014, my heart issued a loud and clear message that was a wake-up call. This cardiac event brought with it the revelation that I need not get to that point ever again by ignoring the signposts along the way that had me on an operating table. I could have gotten stronger in other, less extreme ways.

Stephen Joseph, PhD, author of What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Stronger: The New Psychology of Trauma and Transformation,  explains, “Those who try to put their lives back together exactly as they were remain fractured and vulnerable. But those who accept the breakage and build themselves anew become more resilient and open to new ways of living.”

The concept of post-traumatic growth that Joseph endorses, offers a strengths-based perspective. Research from Lawrence G. Calhoun and Richard G. Tedeschi of the University of North Carolina Charlotte found that survivors of trauma often experienced profound healing, a stronger spiritual faith and philosophical grounding.

The 21-item Post-Traumatic Growth Inventory examines responses to painful event in five areas:

• Relating to others

• New possibilities

• Personal strength

• Spiritual change

• Appreciation for life

Resilience is powerful factor in post-traumatic growth that often precedes the life-altering events. It helps people create a sense of stability, bond with caregivers, communicate needs and emotions, regulate themselves, and feel a higher level of self-worth. If adults model resilient responses, children are more inclined to emulate those qualities, making them better able to cope with trauma.

There is a wide variety of evidence that both support and negate this aphorism.

Journalist,  founder of Wives Self Help hotline, andauthor of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger: Turning Bad Breaks Into Blessings, Maxine Schnall comes out on the side that resilience and strength can indeed come from the unthinkable. In her case, it arrived in the form of the ending of her marriage and the brain injury of her beloved daughter at the hands of a drunk driver.

Does the Kelly Clarkson song “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” represent most people’s reality?

A study entitled “Resilience after 9/11: Multimodal neuroimaging evidence for stress-related change in the healthy adult brain” indicates, “trauma exposure plays a causal role in changes to both brain structure and function, even in nonclinical adult populations.” One of the researchers, named Dr. Barbara Ganzel, states, “Our findings suggest that there may be long-term neurobiological correlates of trauma exposure, even in people who appear resilient. We have known for a long time that trauma exposure can lead to subsequent vulnerability to mental health disorders years after the trauma. This research is giving us clues about the biology underlying that vulnerability.”

I count among the people in my life, those who have survived trauma, abuse, homelessness, extreme injury, mental health diagnoses, PTSD, addiction, death of loved ones; some through suicide, divorce, and life challenging conditions. Their responses to my inquiry on the topic elicited widely varying insights.

 “I ought to be singing that song, right?! It’s more than ‘this is my fight song!”

“I think it depends how the individual handles the situation. I believe the possibility is always there.”

“Dear whatever is killing me, I am strong enough. You may stop now, please. Thank you.”

“I’ve dealt with so much…at this point, it’s micro-movements. Like in yoga…it hurts then you breathe…and go a little further…repeat.”

“I think that’s kind of bullshit. Strength comes from knowing yourself and not apologizing for who you are. Plenty of people suffer without learning a damn thing.”

“Pain and suffering are not the same thing. Unconsciousness adds suffering to our pain. We all have pain in life. We can have less suffering, though, if we are aware of where our pain is coming from and lean into it instead of resisting it. What you resist persists.”

“Soooo much to say about this, but if only one point to be made it’d be something like this…. stronger doesn’t necessarily, in fact it shouldn’t equate to hardened feelings, or less penetrable attitudes, or arrogance or indignation or belligerence! Instead, I believe stronger to mean, more allowing, more patient, more willing to let go of that which no longer works! Stronger to me means letting go of the need to control and trusting the process, having and demonstrating true faith, believing in things I cannot see nor touch!”

“In a storm, a willow may be stronger than an oak.”

“ohmygosh there is so much damage that can be sustained short of being killed, I find this generalization nonsensical at best and causing harm at worse.”

“Have always thought it was part of what I call ‘Slogan Spirituality’ — not particularly helpful when going through a difficult time. Of course, sometimes we do emerge stronger — but then again, we can also become stronger by being well loved and experiencing joy. And sometimes that which does not kill us just leaves us bedridden or housebound for years — and I would not wish that on anyone (even as I acknowledge that previous unknown strengths may be uncovered.”

“Like other schlocky pithy sayings, I find it unhelpful, especially when lobbed at people who are experiencing difficulty. ‘Slogan spirituality’ …PERFECT!”

“Every setback is a set up for a come-back! I truly believe that!”

“This disturbs me. It sets up a paradigm that tolerates suffering. It reminds me of another saying, ‘God only gives you as much as you can handle.’ Wrong. Ask my dead daughter about how much she could tolerate before she died from depression and suicide. Pain didn’t make her stronger. It made her tired and hopeless. Victim mentality? Why do we need to have it be anything other than what it is? Sometimes things hurt. And they don’t make us stronger or better.”

“Guy Lewis has a wonderful quote I prefer. ‘We take on the strength of that which we overcome.’”

“Well, at first I can be pretty resentful, but I know how cherished I am, so I always get over it. I’m grateful that I have the wisdom, fearlessness, etc. I have stopped blaming myself for my inability to do things and have become grateful to have learned so much. I have stopped blaming myself for others issues too. Sometimes it’s contrast, not a mirror.”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is bs. What you do when you are dying is what makes you stronger. It is my feeling that this saying is one of those self-created oh look at me statements meant to make people feel self-superior.”

“Pray for strength and the universe will give you difficult challenges to meet that request. I NEVER ask for strength or pray for strength. Only for connection to Peace, Joy, LOVE, Happiness, Abundance and Eyes to see heaven within all people.”

“Becoming stronger is dependent upon a lot. Is stronger always better? What does it mean to be stronger? Sometimes people believe they’re stronger when they block more out. I think being more vulnerable matters more. 

And then there are a lot of people who succumb to depression because of circumstances in their lives and that doesn’t make them lesser. Idk I find the saying to be problematic. There’s choice involved, there’s definitions of meanings. There’s the fact that not everyone can come out on the other side of trauma.”

from Psych Central http://ift.tt/2gLG8PP

Way back when, the calculator watch was the bell of the ball. The tame, streamlined design wasn’t overly bulky, and the hardware was sound—and it was still a watch. It might just have been the greatest invention of the past 400 years.

But it’s pragmatic appeal has fallen to the wayside, both as a watch and a calculator, thanks to the rise of the cell phone. But there seemed to be something that world’s most popular smartphone, the iPhone, missed with its calculator function. No matter which way you flip the orientation, there never seemed to be a backspace button. (Did you know your iPhone has a mouse you never knew about, either?)

But there is a way to backspace. All it requires is a simple finger swipe.

FYI: Your iPhone calculator has a backspace function… 😯 https://t.co/qwzGwgYBYp #commoncents #clarkyourlife #lifehacks #iphone http://pic.twitter.com/TgCsZdcNAS

— Alex Thomas Sadler (@TheAlexSadler) May 9, 2017

 

 

Never again worry about making a clerical error that requires a total equation clear. If you want to take a quick step back in your scratch math, just slide left or right, and you travel back in time, math-wise. 

Now that you know how to backspace on your iPhone calculator, make sure you know about this iPhone feature that could save your life one day.

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2zcKwD4

The Halloween season is a time for fun-sized candy, giving rocks to balding trick or treaters, apple cider donuts, and frights. (Did you know that there’s a scientific explanation for ghosts?) But nothing else besides those four things. The very last, very spooky above listed item, frights, are generally all in good fun. But can they be dangerous? Can someone literally be scared to death?

The short answer is yes. The key factor in a hypothetical scare-induced demise is a pesky little chemical that anyone who’s played a particularly intense game of hide-and-seek is very familiar with: adrenaline. Fear puts the body in a state of severe emotional distress, which in turn triggers the autonomic fight-or-flight response.

The fight or flight response is an evolutionary defense mechanism which acts in your best interest when there is a perceived threat. You sweat profusely, your anxiety is exacerbated, your blood glucose levels are elevated, and your heart rate is heightened. Like a cornered animal, you’re a bit less rational, a bit more erratic, but a bit more ready to survive.

Now, back to the adrenaline. Adrenaline triggers all of these processes, but there’s just one organ, which, if overloaded, can lead to sudden death. The human body doesn’t immediately expire as soon as a kidney or liver fails, but when a heart ceases operation, the whole business shutters. This is what happens to your body during an adrenaline rush.

Adrenaline causes calcium to enter the heart at a higher rate, and when there’s more calcium rushing through the thing, it has harder time resetting to its normal resting rate. This can cause a condition known as ventricular fibrillation, a type of irregular heartbeat that prevents blood from pumping to the rest of the body. Without immediate treatment, this can lead to sudden death.

Of course, this adrenaline-induced cause of death isn’t unique to being scared. Any event that jacks up one’s adrenal level, from watching your favorite hockey team win back-to-back Stanley Cups to having sex, could precipitate ventricular fibrillation. So if you’re planning on getting spoopy this Halloween season, be sure to do it in a controlled setting, especially if you have a history of heart problems. Maybe give one of the 31 scariest movies of all time a go, or if that’s still too much, tone it down with one of the 22 best Halloween movies for kids.

[Source: Encyclopedia Britannica]

from Reader's Digest http://ift.tt/2zdte8M