You Can (and Should!) Stick up for Yourself as a Bridesmaid—Here’s How

Be upfront about finances

It’s not just putting on a very specific-colored dress and smiling pretty for photos—being a bridesmaid (and knowing bridesmaid etiquette) means you’re shelling out several hundreds of dollars throughout wedding planning. In fact, it’s estimated to cost around $1,500 to be in the wedding party, which for many is a lot to spend. That’s why life coach Kali Rogers says to be upfront and candid about your financial situation from day one. “Do not blow all of your savings on an expensive dress and bachelorette party simply because you want to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation. You will end up resenting your friend and possibly permanently damage what was otherwise a wonderful friendship,” she says. Instead, you can suggest cost-effective ways to minimize expenses tied to the wedding, a move that other bridesmaids will likely appreciate, too. “You could rent the dress, implement a payment plan, shorten your stay at the bachelorette trip, pick a different location for it, resell your dress after wearing it to the wedding,” she suggests. “Discuss options and don’t hold back when it comes to finances. Yes, it’s her wedding, but it’s not worth draining your savings account over it. You’ll have to fork out some money, that’s the way it goes, but find a balance.” (Here are 11 little bridesmaid etiquette rules every bridesmaid should follow.)